


big bang (nothing, then everything)

by alonelyghost



Series: big bang (the universe, entire) [2]
Category: Persona 3, Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Akechi Goro Lives, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Amnesia, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, No Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Temporary Amnesia, Twin AU, fem protag is named hamuko, implied Akihiko/Minato, implied Yukari/Mitsuru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 49,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21541525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alonelyghost/pseuds/alonelyghost
Summary: “Persona!” calls a girl in a tight red catsuit. A being materializes behind the girl and sends fireballs at the Shadow. The Shadow - which looks familiar in a way that she does not expect it to - responds by knocking the girl down. Backup arrives. The group seems surrounded, and they are not exactly doing well. She could help, but - all she has is a fake gun.She watches as one of them - wearing a black trench coat and red gloves - points the fakest looking gun she’s ever seen and fires. It hits the Shadow. It works, so why doesn’t hers?“I chooseth this fate of mine own will.”What did the girl say?Persona. . .She raises the gun to her head. Someone - is that a UFO? - finally notices and calls out in a panic, but now she’s sure of what she’s doing. “Per. . . so. . . na.” She shoots. Someone screams. Messiah bursts forth in all his glory, almost like a long-forgotten friend.
Relationships: Aragaki Shinjiro/Arisato Minako, Aragaki Shinjiro/Female Persona 3 Protagonist
Series: big bang (the universe, entire) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1646479
Comments: 92
Kudos: 462
Collections: Quality Persona Fics





	1. i

Cold.

It’s _cold._

For some reason, that’s surprising, but the reason slips away before she can process it.

There are too many inputs at once for her to process anything. There is too much – too much – too much _muchness_ about her, she decides. She should not feel cold, she should not be able to decide anything. She is not a being. She is nothing, she is nowhere, she is everything and everywhere. She can’t feel. She should not be able to feel.

So why is she cold?

She wiggles her toes.

She should not have toes. Or a body. Or a presence.

She should be. . .

Dead?

Perhaps.

Her eyes open of their own accord – another piece in the mounting pile of evidence that she does, in fact, suddenly exist – and then immediately shut. It’s too bright. Or perhaps it is dim, but she is unused to having eyes. Any amount of light is bright where previously there was nothing. After a moment she tentatively opens them again. Her surroundings are still an insult to what little processing abilities she has gotten under control, so she looks down at herself instead. Blouse, jacket, skirt, pin, bow. School uniform. She recognizes it but can’t quite place where she knows it from. The waistband holds a flip phone that doesn’t seem to have charge, so she securely tucks it back in to deal with later. Somehow, she gets the sense that the ensemble is still missing a few things.

There isn’t a mirror nearby – she doesn’t seem to be in any sort of proper room – so she reaches up to touch her face. It feels very much like a face should, she supposes. She can’t remember what her face is meant to feel like, but it doesn’t feel like it’s missing chunks or anything, so it’s probably fine. Even higher, she touches her hair. It feels unwashed and messy, tied up in a loose and terrible ponytail.

The hair tie holding her hair has fallen down considerably, so she pulls it the rest of the way off and puts it onto her wrist. As she pulls, she realizes her hair is much longer than she expects it to be – long enough for her to pull over her shoulders and inspect. While she’s at it, she finger-combs the mess as best as she can. The lighting is off, but her hair looks a bit orangey-brown. Auburn, maybe? If she had to pick a color, anyway.

Nothing left to be gained from inspecting herself, she turns her attention back to her surroundings. Once again, she notes that she doesn’t seem to be in a normal room. It is, at the very least, an enclosed area. The colors are just disorienting enough that she’s having trouble processing exactly what the room looks like, a swirl of red and black that is almost nauseating. She’s more of an orange person, herself, but she doesn’t think that’s why it’s so unsettling.

There’s a blue glow up ahead, emanating from beyond a set of stairs she hadn’t yet noticed. It draws her in – blue stands out so starkly against the red and black backdrop that she has no choice but to investigate. And –

Blue is familiar.

Blue is. . .

She heads for the blue light almost instinctively. There is a sense of safety in the light, drawing her in, though she has no rational explanation for why the light might feel safe. (Though, even without the sense of safety, she’d still be tempted to investigate. It’s not as if she has anywhere else to go.)

The glow comes into focus as she reaches the top of the stairs, coming from an equally blue door. She walks towards it hesitantly. It doesn’t seem to be attached to anything – nor, in fact, does it seem to be corporeal. Pushing down a sudden onslaught of foreboding, she reaches her hand out and goes to turn the handle.

 _Click_.

It doesn’t turn.

. . . All the better, really. She may not be sure what’s happening, but it feels a bit “first person to die in a horror movie” to go opening random, seemingly inexplicable doors all willy-nilly. She pushes down the deep discomfort brought by the presence of the door and continues investigating as cautiously as possible, admittedly backing up what she deems a safe distance from the door first.

The layout of this room makes sense of something she had noticed subconsciously on the floor below. She’s in a subway. The stairs she had taken to get up here suddenly make so much more sense, and she’s sure if she went back down she’d find tracks. But for now, there are more stairs leading out to what is presumably the rest of the world.

The new set of stairs leads her out to a city she finds vaguely familiar, but just as unsettling as the blue door had been. Looking up at the buildings, it takes a moment to put her finger on it – there’s no people. Not a single soul in sight. The sky is a vivid red, as if it is either dusk or dawn. Even so, there should be people wandering about. Come to think of it, there should be people in the subway. Where are the people?

Once again feeling as if she has been thrown headfirst into a horror movie, she starts walking. There has to be some evidence of life further into the city, right? Some sort of sign that she’s not in a hellish dystopia where she’s the only living survivor? After a while of walking, though, it becomes clear that she’s not actually moving anywhere. She had moved a little bit at first, but there seems to be some sort of boundary that’s preventing her from getting any further. Her only option seems to be the subway.

She heaves a sigh and turns back, quickly making her way past the blue door so that she doesn’t have to look at it for too long. It freaks her out. She runs down the next set of stairs and stops abruptly at the bottom. How did she miss the subway tracks the first time around? Too distracted by the newfound experience of existing and the blue glow, she supposes.

Something glitters close to the track, so she goes over and picks it up. It seems to be a pistol, with the acronym S.E.E.S emblazoned on the side. It must be a fake pistol though, as there doesn’t seem to be anywhere to load bullets. Other than that, she’s sure she could be convinced it is a real gun fairly easily – it’s hefty and made of metal, with enough detail that any passerby would be fooled.

It’s convincing enough that she doesn’t take the risk of touching the trigger, at least.

She glances at the tracks in front of her. They lead only in one direction – this station must be the end of the line. If she has any hope of getting anywhere, it lies beyond the tracks. There’s nothing up the stairs, the blue door is locked. There’s nowhere else to go. She doesn’t like being a sitting duck. Damsel in distress, she is not. She has a (fake) gun. Do damsels in distress have (fake) guns? Probably not. They definitely do not have real ones. She carefully lowers herself onto the tracks, takes a deep breath, and makes her way into the darkness.

The thought that she might get hit by a train does meander its way through her head, but she pushes that aside. This is her only option besides waiting it out and waiting it out isn’t a very good option. What would she even be waiting for? Another person to suddenly appear out of nowhere and save her? Considering the entire city is empty, that seems fairly unlikely.

In any case, even with the thought of potential impending doom, the tracks aren’t very scary. There’s an odd sort of distortion that clings to the walls, and she’s pretty sure subway stations don’t have this many twists or turns or dead ends, but it’s not scary. There are weird. . . she expects globs, not that she knows why she should expect moving globs, but instead they are more like. . . mountain men? Men made out of mountains, wearing masks. Actually, upon further inspection, they seem to be made out of subway cars, which makes a lot more sense in the context.

(Not that weird subway car men things make sense in any context, but she’s just sort of going with the flow here.)

The subway car men things avoid her as she gets farther in. Actively run from her, even, which makes her feel some sort of powerful. It also gives her a breath of relief, considering she’s almost ninety percent sure her gun is fake. Maybe she could pistol whip them if they got too close? It’s not a theory she’d like to test out, but she files the idea away just in case.

Eventually, she finds stairs going down. Ignoring the fact that this is apparently a multi-level subway, down is good. Down will take her to new places, instead of back up and out into the empty city. Briefly she catches herself feeling surprised that the next level of the subway is not up, though on further reflection, if the subway were going to have any number of levels – it is not as if this strange world makes sense in the first place – down is the correct way to go. Going down makes sense.

She goes down.

The – monsters? Mountain men? Subway men?

_“. . . You saw those creatures. We call them Shadows.”_

Shadows.

The Shadows continue to evade her as she moves down, but. . . well, if they’re avoiding her, they can’t be too strong, can they? Maybe she should fight them. She aims the (fake) gun at one and _click._ It does nothing. Awesome. Her gun is useless. (It’s a fake gun. Of course it’s useless.) She mentally facepalms and continues on her way. She hasn’t quite reached the point where she needs to use the fake gun as a blunt weapon yet, so she lets the Shadows ignore her.

Maybe she should turn around in case it ever does come to that point.

. . . But there’s nothing up there. There’s nowhere to go but further down. She continues on her path. If this isn’t what she was meant to do, she would’ve woken up somewhere else. And, failing that, at least it gives her something to do. Down, down, down she goes. She rests at the rest stops – small stretches that lack any Shadow activity – but otherwise continues on. The Shadows keep avoiding her.

Eventually, after who knows how long, there is a sound. It feels very much like it should signify the Big Bang – the presence of life when previously there was none. All the noises she has heard thus far have either been strange sounds from the Shadows or sounds that she herself caused.

She supposes she counts as life, so the metaphor doesn’t quite work, but only after she hears the sound does she become aware of how eerily silent it’s been since she woke up, accompanied only by the sound of her footsteps. She goes toward the source of the noise, making her way into a weird portal-looking thing she hasn’t seen thus far and eventually coming upon people. People in weird costumes, but people nonetheless. They’re fighting a Shadow, but for some reason it doesn’t look like she expected it to.

It looks more like. . .

“Persona!” calls a girl in a tight red catsuit. A being materializes behind the girl and sends fireballs at the Shadow. The Shadow - which looks familiar in a way that she does not expect it to - responds by knocking the girl down. Backup arrives. The group seems surrounded, and they are not exactly doing well. She could help, but - all she has is a fake gun.

She watches as one of them - wearing a black trench coat and red gloves - points the fakest looking gun she’s ever seen and fires. It hits the Shadow. It works, so why doesn’t hers?

_“I chooseth this fate of mine own will.”_

What did the girl say?

Persona. . .

She raises the gun to her head. Someone - is that a UFO? - finally notices and calls out in a panic, but now she’s sure of what she’s doing. “Per. . . so. . . _na._ ” She shoots. Someone screams. Messiah bursts forth in all his glory, almost like a long-forgotten friend. “Megidolaon!” she calls instinctively. There are Shadows, and then there are not. She glances at the group. Most look hurt. The catsuit girl from earlier is heaving and staring at her in confusion. She casts Salvation, which restores the party’s health.

She doesn’t know how she knew to do that. She doesn’t know how she knew the names of the powers she needed to call upon, or that they’d do exactly what she intended for them to do. She feels a bit woozy. Turning to the costumed group behind her, she is faced immediately with a gun.

Which, yeah, to be fair, she’d be a bit suspicious of herself too.

(Even if she did just save their lives.)

“Who are you?” demands the one at the forefront of the group. He’s taller than her, she notes. Fluffy black hair, black trench coat, black-and-white masquerade mask, red gloves. The one she saw shoot a gun earlier – staring down the barrel of it, she can tell it’s fake. Why does his fake gun work differently from hers?

“I don’t know,” she replies because she doesn’t. Honestly, she hadn’t yet thought about it. She was too busy trying to figure out where she is or what’s happening to remember to think about her name. Now that she is thinking about it, though, nothing comes to her. Actually – she doesn’t think she knows much of anything about herself. That’s probably something to file away for later.

Red gloves presses on. “How did you get here?”

“I don’t know,” she says once again. Still true.

“What is that?” the boy says, gesturing to her fake gun. Reasonable question. He’s probably specifically wondering why it doesn’t work like his. She looks down at it consideringly.

_“We’ve prepared an Evoker for you. We’d like you to lend us your strength.”_

“Evoker,” she replies vaguely, now even more dizzy than before. “Summons my Persona.”

And then, like an overdramatic movie character, she passes out.

* * *

_She dreams of clocks, and Shadows, and doors._

_She dreams of being everything and nothing, and then not._

_She dreams of masks, and red, and black._

* * *

She wakes up bathed in the blue glow of the creepy door, surrounded by the mask-wearers. They are muttering amongst themselves. Black-and-white mask snaps to attention when he notices her stirring and quiets them down.

“Hello,” he says.

“Hello,” she replies. She’s still a bit dizzy, but not nearly as much as before. “Why are you wearing a mask?”

It doesn’t seem to be the question he was expecting. He replies quickly anyway. “We’re the Phantom Thieves.” He says _Phantom Thieves_ , proper noun. She can hear the emphasis.

She pretends that somehow answers her question and moves on. “Phantom Thieves? What do you steal?” This doesn’t seem too unreasonable a question for her to ask. After all, they just said they’re thieves.

The others mutter amongst themselves, but she’s too busy staring at the boy in front of her, who glances at his still-muttering group before answering. “Distorted desires, mostly.”

Phantom Thieves of the mind, how interesting. She wonders what stealing a distorted desire would entail. Probably this strange world she’s found herself in, considering the Phantom Thieves seem to know exactly how to navigate it. A million questions run through her head – for instance, where exactly are they – but she can’t focus on them for long. “What’s your name?” she eventually blurts with little to no input from her brain.

“What’s yours?” black-and-white mask counters.

This, her mind continues to not supply. She pretends not to notice that he is clearly deflecting – they’ll have to tell her their names at some point, or even just some code names. She can’t keep calling them descriptor words forever. “I already told you, I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” he asks.

“I don’t remember.”

“What do you remember, then?” says a girl in a black, metal-looking mask.

“I remember. . . Shadows. Personas. My Evoker.” She stands abruptly, startling the masked group. She absently notes that she’s also shorter than the rest of the Phantom Thieves, not just black-and-white mask. Well, shorter than almost all of them except for a weird anthropomorphic cat thing that she hadn’t seen before and the UFO girl, and she’s a bit iffy on her height in relation to the fluffy-haired girl. “What. . . is that?” she asks, point to the cat. “A cat?”

The cat huffs and crosses its little arms. “I’m Mona. I am not a cat.”

That only vaguely answers her question, but she’s not going to argue with it. It seems pretty certain about the cat thing, so she’ll trust it. She’s accustomed to strange, clearly – her only memories pertain to this odd world she woke up in. She’s sure whatever she doesn’t remember is equally strange, considering her missing memories and where she woke up. And honestly, her complete unsurprise at the whole endeavor so far has to have a reason. She feels like normal people probably do not look at Shadows and then just move on with their lives.

She lets the not-cat have his moment and looks around. Her gaze lingers on the blue door. Seemingly triggered by her focus, the door opens just a crack. A silver-haired little girl wearing blue peaks out of the crack. They briefly make eye contact, and the girl flinches away, slamming the door as she re-enters the room. She breaks her gaze from the door to find black-and-white mask staring between her and the door with a thoughtful look on his face.

“Is there a way out of here? I tried earlier, but I couldn’t seem to go anywhere,” she says in lieu of acknowledging the blue door. “There aren’t any people out there, either.”

“You need an app to come and go,” red catsuit answers. “How did you get here without it?”

“I don’t know,” she says for what is probably not the last time.

“You want to leave?” black-and-white mask asks her.

She nods, and they lead her up into the red city. Black-and-white mask pauses at the top of the stares and pulls out his phone – much newer looking than hers – and presses a few buttons. Her vision goes blurry for a second, and then the red city is replaced with a much less red, much more populated version.

_You have now entered the real world. Welcome back._

She turns back to look at the stairs and they look a lot more normal than before. The walls of the stairway are no longer red and veiny, but back to their normal concrete selves. Turning back to the Phantom Thieves in front of her, she sees that they have lost their masks and outfits. They appear to be high school students, almost all of them wearing a school uniform.

“Kurusu Akira,” black-and-white – the Fool, supplies her inner voice – says politely when they’ve reached an area out of the way of the crowds. “We don’t use our real names in there.”

And yet he had asked for hers. She wonders if there is any danger in saying it, or if they’ve just decided to be cautious. Either way it seems rather rude to not have applied the same rule to her.

Ret catsuit introduces herself as Takamaki Ann – _Lovers_ – and the rest clamor after her. Sakamoto Ryuji – blond, energetic, loud. _Chariot_. Kitagawa Yusuke – blue hair, quiet demeanor. It seems familiar, but she can’t place the feeling. _Emperor_. Niijima Makoto – red eyes, brown hair, formal. _Priestess_. Sakura Futaba – orange hair, purple eyes, nervous. _Hermit_. Okumura Haru – light brown hair, pink sweater, shy. _Empress_. And Mona the not-cat, now going by Morgana and taking a very cat-like appearance, but still able to talk. _Magician._

“Oh, we should probably give you a name, right? Since you don’t remember, you know?” Takamaki says. The others nod their assent and look at her expectantly, so she nods at well. There’s no harm in having a name, really. She doesn’t question that no one has brought up cops or hospitals, considering the world she was found in. And the Evoker that looks very much like a gun tucked in her waistband. And the fact that she was found by the Phantom Thieves (proper noun).

They all stand there for a moment, puzzling over this new problem.

“What about Chihiro?” suggests Sakura.

For a moment, she pictures a gentle-faced girl with a nervous laugh. “No, that doesn’t feel right.”

Okumura looks over her consideringly. “Uhm, is Hanako alright? It means blossom.”

Hanako. . . it’s not quite right, but it’ll do. It feels close to where she needs to be, anyway. “Hanako is nice.”

The not-cat Morgana leans forward from where he’s perched on Kurusu’s shoulder and inspects her. “Gekkoukan High, huh? Is that a school nearby?”

Niijima takes a closer look at the emblem on her jacket. “I think I’ve heard of Gekkoukan before,” she says and pulls out of her phone, typing something and nodding at the results. “Yes, here it is. Gekkoukan is a private high school located on Tatsumi Port Island, a man-made extension of the city Iwatodai. It was built by the Kirijo Group following the destruction of the building before it. It’s apparently a very prestigious school.”

Sakura bounces on her heels a little bit. “It’s not just prestigious, it produces a lot of famous people. The actress who plays Pink Argus went there.”

“Of course you’d know that,” Kurusu mutters fondly.

“She’s dating Kirijo Mitsuru! It’s notable information,” Sakura protests, and the two continue bickering.

Iwatodai, Gekkoukan, Kirijo. . . it sounds familiar in the way that Hanako seems close enough of a name, so that has to be the right direction. Which reminds her - she pulls her phone off of her waistband, noting that it seems to be much older than the rest of the Phantom Thieves’. Flipping it open, she discovers that it miraculously still has charge. It most likely didn’t work earlier because of the strange world they were in, though Kurusu’s had. She navigates to her contacts by instinct, discovering there are actually a few names entered in.

* * *

_Akihiko-senpai_

_Bebe_

_Fuuka-chan_

_Ken-kun_

_Kirijo-senpai_

_Min_

_Rio_

_Saori_

_Shinji_

_Stupei_

_Yuka-tan_

* * *

“I have a Kirijo-senpai in my phone,” Hanako notes out loud. She tries calling it, but it doesn’t work. “Oh, but I don’t think I have service.”

Sakura pauses her bickering with Kurusu to bound over and take the phone out of Hanako’s hand. “Kirijo-senpai? There’s only one living Kirijo – Kirijo Mitsuru. Why would you have her number?”

“Futaba, give Hanako-san back her phone,” Kurusu says gently but firmly. “Hanako-san, me and a couple others are going to get something to eat, if you’d join us?”

Sakura sheepishly hands back the phone and rejoins Kurusu’s side. Hanako clips it back onto her skirt and follows as Kurusu, Sakura, Takamaki, and Okumura make their way farther into the city. The rest of the Thieves make their excuses and part ways there. Takamaki gives her a jacket to replace her Gekkoukan one since according to Sakura, Iwatodai is nowhere near Tokyo. Sakura, Takamaki, and Kurusu chat amicably the whole way, but Okumura hangs back with her, remaining silent for a while but eventually speaking up.

“Would you like a last name, Hanako-san?”

Hanako ponders this. “No, it’s alright. Hanako is fine for now.” She wouldn’t want to try her luck at finding a similar enough last name to her previous one. Just Hanako will do until she remembers – hopefully soon.

Silence again, punctuated by Takamaki laughing over something. Then, “Uhm, if you’d like to use my phone to check your contacts, you can. Since yours doesn’t work.” Okumura holds out her phone, and once again Hanako notes that it seems much newer than hers. It’s not a flip phone, for one. For two, just as with the other ones she’s seen today, it’s much sleeker than any of the smartphones she can vaguely recall seeing. Deciding that’s something to think about later, she clicks the phone app and goes through her contacts one by one.

Akihiko-senpai.

_We’re sorry, this phone number has been disconnected._

Bebe.

_We’re sorry, this phone number has been disconnected._

Fuuka-chan.

_We’re sorry, this phone number has been disconnected._

On and on, leaving her to wonder why she has a phone that doesn’t work full of contacts that have since changed their number. She hands Okumura back her phone, shaking her head at the girl’s questioning gaze. What else is there? She supposes her text history, but that hope is immediately dashed. No texts.

Maybe pictures?

There’s only one photo. It’s of a dog.

_“Koro-chan, give me your paw!”_

Koromaru.

Of all the things to remember right now, it’s a dog. Great.

She thinks about the things she has remembered or found familiar so far. Shadows, Personas, Evoker. Gekkoukan, Iwatodai, Tatsumi Port Island. Koromaru. The way she can look at Kurusu’s friends and tell what arcana they are. The blue door. Blue itself. Orange.

Staring at Morgana the not-cat, there is a new third comfortable color. His collar is yellow, just as his bandana was in the red-and-black world. Yellow scarf, blue eyes.

_“It’s like. . . I don’t know. . . nostalgia? Have we met before?”_

Unlike before, the memory does not bring any new information, really. Yellow scarf, blue eyes, the unsettling familiarity of a being that should not be. It feels like the name, the memory, is on the tip of her tongue –

_“Have we met before?”_

Have we?

She zones out while eating crepes that Okumura pays for. Kurusu and Takamaki spread out schoolbooks and papers, making a half-hearted attempt at studying while Okumura studies a single neatly laid out notebook and Sakura plays with her phone.

“Exams are tomorrow,” Morgana informs her from his spot hidden next to her.

It doesn’t take long for Kurusu and Takamaki to get distracted. In fact, she’s not sure they even started studying in the first place. Sakura pulls them into a conversation about Pink Argus and Kirijo Mitsuru, apparently still thinking about their connection to Hanako. For her part, she stays out of the conversation and eats her crepes.

“Is that alright, Hanako-san?” breaks through her mental fog, and she looks up to see the others staring at her questioningly. They must’ve shifted conversation topics at some point. Upon realizing she wasn’t at all listening, Okumura repeats the question. “I’d like you to stay at my house for the time being. I have the most room, after all.”

Hanako nods. It’s not as if she has anywhere else to go – she doesn’t even know her own name, so her only other bet would be the hospital, and she’s not sure how much that would help either. She’s sure the Phantom Thieves want to keep an eye on her because of where she was found, anyway.

“Oh, but she’ll need clothes too, right? She can’t go around in a school uniform for the rest of her life. We should go shopping!” says Takamaki with the excitement of someone who has found a way out of studying. “It could be a fun girl’s trip!” She glances at Kurusu, who is barely concealing his laugh. “And Akira, too.”

“Hey!” says Morgana.

“. . . and Morgana,” Takamaki amends.

Once again, it’s not as if she has anything else to be doing, so she lets herself be dragged to the nearby mall. Plus, Takamaki is right; it won’t do to be wearing a school uniform for the next however long. Especially not when the school it’s from is nowhere near Tokyo.

She picks out mostly orange and beige. (Orange is her favorite color, she tells Takamaki. It’s one of the few things she knows about herself.) Takamaki makes her try all of it on – just in case – and she finds it is the first time all day she has seen her own reflection.

She looks. . . older than she expected. Not like a high-schooler, more like a baby-faced adult. Orangey-brown hair, red eyes. Hair pins arranged to say XXII – though it looks as if they were meant to be there with her hair up, and it’s down now, so it’s a bit messy. She carefully extracts the hair pins and sets them to the side, to clip to her skirt when she’s done trying on clothes. The lack of pins makes her hair stick out oddly on that side, so she runs her hands through her hair until it flattens back out nicely.

She’s missing something.

It is missing from every outfit she tries on, yet she can’t figure out what it is. She finishes trying on the outfits and her gaze lingers on her uniform in the mirror – this, too, feels like it is missing something. She shakes her head and grabs some skirt and sweater combos that Takamaki seems to particularly like. She’ll think about the odd emptiness later.

Kurusu drags them to a little knick-knack store so that he can buy a couple things, and then they stop by an electronics shop and buy a phone and temporary SIM card – “So we can update you,” Takamaki says – and after some chat ID exchanging, and the return of Takamaki’s jacket, they all part ways.

Okumura calls a driver, and soon enough they are arriving at a mansion. Hanako is introduced as one of Okumura’s friends that will be staying indefinitely. The servants bow politely as they pass, and she’s reminded of – well, she can’t put her finger on it. Amnesia is the most annoying thing in the world, she decides.

They stop at Okumura’s bedroom first so Okumura can put away her bag, which is apparently also carrying her weapons from the other world and probably shouldn’t be outside of her room for two long. It’s large, pink, and covered in plants. Mostly foods, from what Hanako can tell, though she doesn’t know much about plants.

Once Okumura is done there, she leads Hanako to a different nearby room. This one is almost as large as Okumura’s, but with orange accents instead of pink, and a less personalized feel to it. “I hope it’s alright,” says Okumura softly. “You told Ann one of the only things you could remember is that you like orange.”

“Of course it’s alright,” Hanako replies. And it is alright, because why would a mansion not be alright? It’s a mansion. Not to mention that Okumura is generously housing a stranger that just suddenly popped up with no memories in a strange world – even if the room weren’t orange and pretty, Hanako would still be plenty grateful.

Okumura – Haru, she is eventually corrected – makes her departure soon after, only taking a moment to make sure Hanako has everything she needs for the night. The stilted, kind-hearted politeness is incredibly familiar, and that familiarity is going to drive her insane.

She doesn’t bother unpacking most of the shopping bags, instead just pulling out pajamas and her new phone. With the pajamas on, she feels more herself – the uniform seems correct, but doesn’t feel like something she should be wearing. She flops down onto the enormous bed and starts going through her new phone.

* * *

_Sunday_

_10/16_

_10:38pm_

**_Takamaki Ann_** _: hi hanako-chan!_

**_Hanako_** _: Hello, Takamaki-san! Thank you for helping today!_

**_Takamaki Ann_ ** _changed her name to **Ann-chan**._

_Ann-chan changed Hanako to Hana-chan._

**_Ann-chan_** _: haha call me ann_ _😊_

**_Hana-chan_** _: Oh, okay! Thank you again!_

* * *

_Sunday_

_10/16_

_10:40pm_

**_Sakura Futaba_** _: can i have a list of ur contacts? i might be able to find something based on their names and gekkoukan_

**_Hanako_** _: Oh, sure! Some of them are more nicknames than anything, though._

**_Sakura Futaba_ ** _changed her name to **Alibaba**._

**_Alibaba_** _: i've found more on less_

**_Hanako_** _: Okay!_

**_Hanako_** _: Akihiko-senpai, Bebe, Fuuka-chan, Ken-kun, Kirijo-senpai, Min, Rio, Saori, Shinji, Stupei, and Yuka-tan_

**_Hanako_** _: That’s all I have._

**_Alibaba_** _: ok thx_

* * *

There are other messages, but every exchange goes approximately the same as it had with Ann. They all seem to want to make sure she’s settling in and that she has their numbers. Speaking of the others. . . she opens a search tab and types in “The Phantom Thieves,” scanning the blurb of the first article she finds.

* * *

_Thieves or Murderers?_

_The Phantom Thieves have dropped dramatically in popularity since the death of Okumura Kunikazu on live television only a few days ago. Although there is no evidence besides the customary calling card, Akechi Goro – alternately known as the second coming of the Detective Prince – maintains that the Phantom Thieves are behind this tragedy, and the previous mental shutdown cases as well._

_Read more:_

* * *

Okumura Kunikazu? A relation of Haru’s, then. That explains the quietness of the other girl today, but – there’s no way the Phantom Thieves actually killed someone related to one of their own. Or killed anyone, for that matter. Unless they are murderers and she got them completely wrong, in which case – well, she might be a little screwed.

. . . They’re probably not murderers.

She looks for another article.

* * *

_The Phantom Thieves: Fact or Fiction?_

_Following the confession of well-known artist Madarame Ichiryusai, the public is forced to consider: just who are the Phantom Thieves? Originally coming to media attention for the calling card and subsequent confession of disgraced Olympian Kamoshida Suguru, they were played off as a prank or targeted blackmail attempt. In the light of this new confession, however, it seems as if they Phantom Thieves of Hearts do just what they say: steal the desires of corrupted hearts. Or perhaps it is a fellow blackmailer hoping to propel the fame of my mysterious Phantom Thieves?_

_Read more:_

* * *

Steal their desires? Well, Kurusu – Akira, she corrects herself – did tell her that’s what they steal. She supposes she just didn’t believe him much. After all, who’s ever heard of stealing the metaphysical? How exactly do you steal someone’s desires? She supposes probably through that strange world she woke up in, but she’s not sure how that would help anything.

If they’re this well-known, judging by the multiple articles on them, that’s probably why they were surprised when she didn’t automatically recognize the name. The Phantom Thieves of Hearts are apparently the topic of the country right now, and she is just a random amnesiac they found in a strange world.

She makes a mental note to ask them some additional questions – like what that other place was called so she doesn’t keep thinking “strange world”, and what actually happened with Okumura Kunikazu, though that one may need to wait a bit longer so as to not unintentionally cause Haru any stress. But for now, she’s getting pretty tired. She glances at the time before putting her phone on the charger – a minute shy of midnight.

With the room completely dark, she can see the moon through the semi-sheer curtains. It’s a full moon, she notes. She blinks, and for a moment the moon is impossibly big, green-tinged and bathing the room in a similarly green light. She automatically curls up and closes her eyes, and by the time she opens them again the world is back to normal.

. . . She’s probably just tired.

She gets comfy and falls asleep soon thereafter.

* * *

_She dreams of an enormous green moon floating about a car wreck on a bridge, a little blue-haired boy shouting her name – a name she cannot make out – and an odd-looking woman standing above her. She dreams of full moons, and a different little boy in a striped prisoner’s outfit, speaking of moons and danger and friendship. She dreams of coffins, coffins, coffins –_

_She dreams of home, which is a dormitory somewhere with faces she can’t quite see, laughing and joking as they eat food cooked by – one of them. It is walking Koro-chan with – someone – and playing with the local kids at the shrine. It is ramen bowls and dumplings and pancakes, a sushi platter spread on a coffee table for everyone to share. It is a peacoat and beanie and a face she cannot remember._

_When she wakes up, she has already forgotten what she dreamed about._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter just keeps getting longer and longer lol


	2. ii

There is tightness in her face where her tears fell as she slept, but she can’t seem to recall what she dreamed about that made her so sad. It’s a good sad, though. The nostalgic kind. The bed she’s in is warm, and comfy, and she’s half tempted to go back to sleep – maybe the dream will continue and this time she’ll remember it – but then the memories of yesterday come back.

Right.

Well, that’s probably why she can’t remember her dream.

She can only remember as far back as yesterday, and it’s not as if her dream was just replaying the events of the day before. She can do that well enough herself without dreaming about it. Her name is Hanako, she has no memories before yesterday, and her favorite color is orange. She woke up in an unfamiliar bed because she is staying with a stranger until her memories come back – or perhaps until Haru’s kindness runs out. Her eyes are red, her hair is auburn, and there is something missing.

Something is missing.

This latent thought is going to drive her insane, because without the mysterious missing thing, everything feels empty and she doesn’t quite feel alive. Perhaps she isn’t. She needs – ugh, she can’t remember. What is she missing?

Maybe she should keep a memory journal. It might bring her closer to figuring out what she’s missing. It also means she doesn’t have to keep track of memories she has created since waking up versus what she actually remembers. There is also the possibility of her being told about her life – which isn’t much the same as remembering it.

She goes to text Haru to ask about keeping one – since Haru is the one she’s staying with and is therefore far more approachable – but then remembers that it’s Monday, and the Phantom Thieves have exams today. A quick glance at her phone confirms it. Monday, October 17th, 9:34 am. Haru is already at school then, which leaves Hanako alone with nothing to do.

Hypothetically she could text one of the others – without being completely sure, she thinks Kitagawa and Sakura do not fall under the list of people that have exams at the moment, but she doesn’t want to risk it. Nor does she think either of them will have much of an input on whether she should keep a memory journal. Honestly, she didn’t think Haru would either, she’s just not sure where she would get the money to buy one if not from the Phantom Thieves.

Which leaves her with a problem: she’s pretty sure she’s at least a few years older than them all. The concept of asking for money from teenagers is a bit weird, but she’s not sure how else she’s supposed to live. Can she even get a job with no memories or name? It’s not like she has an ID.

. . . She shouldn’t dwell on that too long. It can be figured out later. Either way, everything in her is burning to be doing something – anything – to alleviate her boredom, to leave the room, as it’s too big and too empty and there is something missing.

Never the one to waste the day in bed – a fact she cannot actually prove about herself – and also in a rush to leave, she starts getting up and ready. Beige sweater, orange skirt, leggings, boots. After some deliberation, she pulls back only the side of her hair and places the hair pins in the XXII formation, leaving the rest of her hair down. Idly she notes that XXII is the number of the Fool arcana in some decks. Is that why she did it? Why does she know that?

She considers for a moment before nestling her Evoker safely in the waistband of her skirt, hiding it with the bagginess of her sweater. She shouldn’t need it – it’s not a real gun – but something about having the weight of it is comforting, a familiar presence that she needs in her newfound unfamiliar life.

There’s a note on the nightstand, along with a good amount of yen.

_Hanako,_

_We have school, but you’re not trapped here! I’ve left some yen so you can go out and get some essentials we might’ve missed yesterday. I won’t have my phone because of exams, but message me if you leave anyways, please!_

_\- Haru_

Hanako tucks the yen in her waistband too, noting that she needs to buy something to carry her stuff securely if she’s going to wear this many skirts. They notably forgot to buy a bag last night while they were shopping yesterday, and that’s coming back to bite her right now. The yen should be fine for now, but she definitely needs a wallet and purse of some sort.

Haru’s staff offers her an escort as she’s leaving, but she declines. She has to figure out Tokyo at some point if they have no timeline of when she might recover her memories. It might as well be now. Besides, she has a feeling she’s used to figuring out new places like this.

She sends Haru a quick text to let her know she’s going out and heads out for the day, using her GPS to get to the nearest train station, but also trying to see if she can reverse-engineer the directions they took in the car last night. They didn’t go anywhere near the station, she doesn’t think, but she can guess the correct direction from it at least.

Through some trial-and-error and some extensive GPS-ing, she eventually winds up in at Shibuya Station. She knows how to get to the underground mall from here, but she’s already been there. She wants to explore, so she goes up into the city. The square is where they were yesterday when they exited that other world and doesn’t seem to have much in it.

She walks past the politician giving a speech – noting that he is the Sun arcana and therefore likely a friend of Akira’s – and goes further into the city, marveling at the cramped feeling of Central Street. It doesn’t feel like anything she’s used to experiencing.

A CD shop is the first thing she sees, and she enters it just as soon as she sees it. The CDs are mostly unfamiliar as she sorts through them casually, as is the music playing in the background, dashing her hopes of hearing something that triggers her memories. Not that that’s a thing that really happens, she supposes, but one can hope. She doesn’t manage to find any music that catches her eye, either, so she goes back out into Central Street.

There’s a stationery shop just down the way – remembering her memory journal thought, she heads there. On the way she pauses next to an alleyway and glances down it out of habit and – there’s the blue door again. The little girl is back outside it, but this time does not enter the (presumed) room when they make eye contact, instead staring at Hanako with a puzzled expression.

_Danger. Danger. Danger._

Right, she is so not going down there.

Not that she intended to, really. There doesn’t seem to be much down there she would need to buy, anyways, but now she double absolutely will not be going down there. Instead, she resolutely marches on to the stationery shop. She buys a cute little notebook with a moon motif on it and a matching pen, as well as a bag to carry them (and her yen) in.

After that, she goes back out onto the street and looks around for a place to sit and write. There’s a fast-food place – Big Bang Burger – a diner, and a ramen place. Considering her options, she heads up into the diner. It’s more likely to have a place she can just sit and write, and this is confirmed when she is placed in an empty booth with plenty of space for writing.

She orders the first thing see sees on the menu. After all, it’s not like she has any recollection of the foods she likes. The relaxing atmosphere of the diner puts her at ease, and she sets up her journal in front of her while she waits for her food and pulls out her phone. First order of business: looking up Gekkoukan.

* * *

_Gekkoukan is an elite private high school located on the man-made Tatsumi Port Island, founded by the Kirijo Group in 2000. To this day, it remains one of the most technologically advanced and sought-after schools in Japan, with many graduates going on to get accepted into any university of their choice._

_ Read more: _

* * *

So she was either rich, smart, or lucky.

Well, she probably doesn’t come from a rich family –

Family.

She hadn’t thought about family yet, too distracted by having lost her memories. Does she have one? What if she’s missing with no memory and there’s a family out there worrying about her? Does she have parents? Siblings? Grandparents? Does she even want to have a family? If she does have one, then she’s just missing with no way to contact them. If she doesn’t. . . then there’s no family waiting for her.

What if she regains her memories and she doesn’t have anyone? Her contacts are all out of date, after all. What if that’s because she doesn’t have anyone, anymore? She didn’t see a “Mom” or “Dad” in the contacts.

And she woke up alone. . .

Shaking her head and turning back to her phone – for fear of bursting into tears in public – she goes back to researching Gekkoukan. The next article down isn’t very recent, but she clicks on it anyway. Anything might help her figure out her identity.

* * *

_The Kirijo Group has announced the Arisato Fund, a scholarship program meant for orphans. Winners of the scholarship will receive a full ride to Gekkoukan, including dorm residence. When asked, Kirijo Mitsuru simply stated that she feels education is important to success, no matter the background. She declined to comment on the name of the fund._

_ Read more: _

* * *

Kirijo Mitsuru. . .

What had Sakura said?

_“There’s only one living Kirijo – Kirijo Mitsuru.”_

Hanako opens her newly purchased notebook and writes the names of all of her contacts, adding ‘Kirijo Mitsuru’ next to ‘Kirijo-senpai’. If she can just figure out who the others are, she’ll be one step closer to figuring out who she is. She stares at the page a little longer before also adding _‘Empress’_ next to Kirijo. Like Haru. This is either gut instinct or an educated guess, but she’s sure it’s true, and it might help in the long run.

Satisfied with the information on that page, she turns to another. On this one she writes ‘blue door – silver hair, yellow eyes, blue clothes. In trouble?’ If past her knew the blue door, and thought of it as safe, why does she now feel it’s dangerous? Why does the little girl put her on edge? Why does she – apparently – put the little girl on edge?

Pause.

She writes 'Akira' on the blue door page, because he can see it, and she witnessed the others stare straight through it as if it weren’t there. Then she flips back to the contacts page and writes 'Koromaru' – not because she feels that Koromaru will be particularly important to solving the mystery, but because he’s the only real thing she remembers from her past and he’s real cute. (Plus, it seems really rude not to put him in.)

So she has two-ish clues and no further leads. Cool. This is usually when new clues come into play during mystery novels, isn’t it? She doesn’t remember reading any mystery novels, but she’s pretty sure clues are supposed to come in when the plot stalls. And considering she can do nothing with the clues she does have, this is where the plot would be stalling.

Though. . .

She looks back at the article on her phone.

The Arisato Fund. . .

_“Kirijo declined to comment on the name of the fund.”_

Arisato. . .

It feels familiar, but she’s not going to call it a clue quite yet. That feels almost too easy, to be honest. She writes the name on a new blank page, and next to it adds a bunch of question marks. Hypothetically, it’s part of her name, because that’s the only reason she can think of for it to be so familiar. But – if it’s her name, why would there be a scholarship named after her? A scholarship for orphans, especially?

Her family name is Arisato, she’s an orphan, and she’s really close to the head of one of the most influential families in Japan? Sounds entirely unreasonable to assume herself to be special like that when she has no memories, so she doesn’t put anything further on the page.

She likely won’t be finding any convenient clues like she would if this were a mystery novel, so she closes her notebook with a sigh and checks her phone notifications, remembering that it buzzed at some point during her research.

* * *

_Monday_

_10/17_

_2:12pm_

**_Sakura Futaba_ ** _created **operation help hanako-chan**._

**_Sakura Futaba_ ** _added **Hanako** and **6 others** to **operation help hanako-chan**._

**_Sakura Futaba_ ** _changed her name to **Oracle**._

**_ Click to see other updates: _ **

**_Oracle_ ** _: alright listen up dweebs_

**_Oracle_ ** _: if any of the shujin ones respond rn i’ll hack ur phone lol_

**_Oracle_ ** _: i tried cross-referencing hanako’s contacts with gekkoukan students but i cant even get into the records_

**_Oracle_ ** _: the security is higher than the GOVERNMENT_

**_Oracle_ ** _: the kirijo group super doesn’t want ppl seeing these records_

**_Savior_ ** _: Does that mean you won’t be able to find anything that way?_

**_Savior_ ** _: . . . Savior?_

**_Oracle_ ** _: gave u a codename_

**_Oracle_ ** _: i can find something it’ll just take longer so it’s gonna be FOREVER_

**_Savior_ ** _: But why savior?_

**_Oracle_ ** _: ur persona is messiah = savior_

**_Savior_ ** _: Seems a little pretentious, though._

**_Oracle_ ** _: this gc is CODENAMES ONLY ur savior now_

**_Oracle_ ** _: now in the interest of not being murdered by mako-chan later for crimes against exam-time im gonna stop talking_

* * *

_Monday_

_10/17_

_2:48pm_

**_Akira_ ** _: Hey, if you want to meet us at shujin, we’re going to have a meeting about your situation_

**_Akira_ ** _: We get out at 3_

**_Hanako_ ** _: Okay! I’ll be there soon!_

* * *

She pays for her meal and gets ready to leave, making sure to tuck everything neatly into her bag so she doesn’t lose it. The yen she has left are tucked into the inside pocket as well, so that she is no longer worrying about dropping money.

It takes her more time than she’d like to get to Shujin, even with the navigation app. The subways in Tokyo are _confusing_. Not to mention the closed-off areas that lead exactly to where she needs to be, making it necessary for her to find a way around. There’s no reason for anything to be this confusing.

She ends up in front of the school just after 3:10. Shujin students are still walking about and making their way home, and they all completely ignore her as she tentatively makes her way into the front courtyard. It’s Ann who spots her first, waving excitedly from her spot next to Akira. They’re both standing off to the side, clearly waiting for the rest of the Phantom Thieves – at least the ones that go to Shujin – and her.

As she nears, Ann grabs her arm and faces her towards Akira. “Tell Akira that dogs are superior to cats.”

“I can’t believe you,” Akira says with a dramatic hand on his chest and a mock-hurt look. “Right in front of Morgana, the poor kitty.” He reaches around and gently pats the bag on his shoulder. There’s a disgruntled sound and some grumbling she doesn’t quite catch, so Hanako can only assume Morgana is inside the bag.

So Akira takes an entire (not) cat to school every day. Or, at least, he did today. She wasn’t aware it was so easy to smuggle animals into school. Briefly, she imagines shoving Koromaru into a bag and bringing him to school. He’s probably small enough to fit, but – yeah, she wouldn’t be able to keep him hidden.

Her assumption is proven correct when a muffled voice that sounds very much like Morgana – though she honestly can’t rule out it being a very small Morgana-sounding child – comes out of the bag. “Don’t call me a kitty!”

“Aw see he’s upset about your dog comment, Ann,” Akira continues.

Hanako stifles a giggle at the meow of outrage that comes out of Akira’s bag. “I’m a dog person, myself. Sorry Morgana.”

“I don’t care!”

Akira catches sight of someone coming down the front steps and calls over. “Ryuji! I’m being betrayed over here! Please tell me you’re a cat person.”

“I told ya, you’re never getting that outta me,” Ryuji says as he draws closer. “I like both.”

“He means he’s a dog person,” Ann stage whispers to Hanako. “He just doesn’t want to hurt Akira’s feelings.” This starts up a whole new round of bickering, so Hanako tunes them out and looks around as they wait for the others.

Shujin is. . . average. Pretty, but she imagines it looks just like every other school in Tokyo. The uniform is just as average – red and black plaid bottoms, turtleneck, blazer. Seriously, what is up with the red? Though she supposes it does make the uniform more interesting than most others.

Some of the students glance nervously at their group – or more specifically the still arguing Ryuji and Akira – as they pass. Hanako briefly wonders why this is but decides not to ask. She sees Makoto exiting the building and waves hello as she nears, turning back to the Phantom Thieves bickering. Just Haru, now.

She must be standing too close to the sidewalk, because after a moment someone bumps into her. She stumbles and turns to see a brown-haired Shujin student, who had apparently been on his phone, as it had tumbled from his hand and onto the ground face down. “Oh, excuse me,” she says and backs up a little, not wanting to touch his personal property. His head snaps up at the sound of her voice and their eyes meet. His expression –

_Justice. Rank 10. MAX._

Terrified and surprised, like. . .

Like he knows her.

This has to be someone from her past, right?

. . . He _does_ look familiar.

“Are you alright?” She asks, intending on continuing her line of thought when he answers.

He shakes his head and picks up his phone, hurriedly shoving it into his bag and backing away. “Sorry, I mistook you for someone else for a second. Excuse me,” he says and then rushes off, skillfully weaving his way through the crowd of students and disappearing around a corner soon after.

Hanako turns back to the Phantom Thieves, now joined by Haru. They’re all staring puzzled in the direction of the boy – so she’s not the only one that thought it was weird. Good. “Does anyone know who that was?”

Makoto is still staring off at where the student disappeared with a calculating look in her eyes. “I can’t quite remember his first name, but that’s Amada-san. He’s a third-year.”

 _Amada-san_.

Hanako glances back at the gates, where Amada is long gone.

_Who is he?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hamuko: (sees the velvet room)  
> hamuko: (kill bill sirens)  
> 


	3. iii

Hanako isn’t quite sure how she ended up working at Leblanc.

She’s aware of the details, of course. At the meeting they had to discuss her – situation – Ann introduced her to Boss, who already knew the circumstances from Akira. Boss offered her a job because she doesn’t have an ID or really anything proving she exists, but it was sort of whirlwind and she’s still trying to get her head wrapped around it. Do people really give out jobs like that? She’s almost one hundred percent sure they don’t, especially to people who don’t currently legally exist, even as a favor to someone they know. That’s just not a thing that happens.

It’s not that she’s complaining, really. Having a job is a good thing and she caught on relatively quickly to working in the café. It’s just an odd set of circumstances. Boss – Sakura Sojiro, Futaba’s father and Akira’s caretaker – doesn’t know her. Technically none of them know her, really, because she doesn’t even know herself. There’s no valid reason to offer her a job – better yet, there’s no valid reason to help her at all, but here she is.

Working at the café is relatively simple. She picks up the coffee types and ways to brew them pretty quickly, and she’s basically the poster girl for customer service. It feels sort of like she used to do something similar, because the scent of coffee is nostalgic – even though she tried some and she absolutely did not like it. She’s more of a tea girl, honestly. Or hot chocolate. Or – literally anything that isn’t coffee.

Plus, she likes the regulars. They’re all very interesting – they have their own lives and tastes and they always come exactly on schedule. The routine of it is so investing to her, watching people go about their lives where she is but a background character. It feels like she’s always been invested in other people’s lives, and this little café job is perfect for that sort of thing.

It’s not all mundane, either. The Phantom Thieves use Leblanc as a meeting place, after all. She’s declined to join their rank for now, but she likes watching them interact. They only have one official Phantom Thief meeting between the one about her and now, but after exams are over, at least one Phantom Thief is always hanging out with Akira. It makes her nostalgic for something she doesn’t remember, but she’s sure whatever it is was nice.

The Phantom Thieves stay busy through the rest of October, but they individually make sure to spend some time with Hanako, which is nice. It’d be pretty boring with no memories and no human interaction. Towards the end of the month, they gain a new member – Akechi Goro, the Detective Prince, which seems a bit ironic. She’d seen him on the Leblanc TV a few times before. He continues openly disagreeing with the Phantom Thieves in public, even as he works with them.

It isn’t until November that the Phantom Thieves have any free time. On Friday – the 4th – they head to Mementos. It’s explained to her as a collection of humanity’s distorted desires, as well as where she woke up. Hanako agrees to go with some amount of reserve, but she’s curious just as much as the Phantom Thieves are.

They meet up outside of the subway entrance in Shibuya. Akechi isn’t there. She asks where he is – considering he’s a new Phantom Thief and this seems relevant – but all she gets are shifty looks and dodgy excuses. She’d probably buy that he’s busy, from what she’s seen on TV; however, she’s an excellent lie detector, so she doesn’t. She doesn’t call them out, though. She’ll figure out what’s up in her own time.

Passing the blue door isn’t as awful as she was building it up to be in her head – she doesn’t get dragged in kicking and screaming by powers unknown, nor does the little girl she’s been seeing attack her on sight. In fact, the little girl isn’t outside of the door this time. Nothing bad immediately happening doesn’t stop the sinister aura of the door from messing with her, though, and she wastes no time in going downstairs to wait for the Phantom Thieves to be ready. Only – she doesn’t stop.

She knows she is meant to wait. She intends to wait. Futaba wanted to scan her, after all, and they were going to show her some of the Shadows – she had mentioned they don’t look like any of the ones she might’ve been familiar with. Plus, Akira requested that she stay with them before they went in. Not particularly for her own safety, considering, but for their peace of mind.

And yet, she keeps walking.

The Shadows won’t attack her, she knows this.

There’s something pulling her deeper, deeper, deeper, so she keeps walking. She walks, and walks, and walks. At some point she thinks she reaches the part where she found the Phantom Thieves the first time, or at least the floor it was, but the layouts are ever-changing and she’s not quite sure.

Ever-changing, like. . .

Like –

_“Tartarus? What’s that? . . . Sounds like a toothpaste.”_

_“You can think of it as a Shadow nest.”_

Like an upside-down Tartarus.

Tartarus, Evoker, Shadows, Personas. . . if all she’s going to remember has to do with this Shadow business, what was her life like before?

Doesn’t matter if she doesn’t remember it, she supposes.

Many, many, many floors down, she reaches a wall. It appears to be made of stone, with glowing red geometric patterns throughout it. There doesn’t seem to be any sort of opening mechanism, but – there has to be more beyond it. There must be. She has to go deeper.

She _has_ to.

There is something down in the deepest depths of Mementos, and she must reach it. There is no other option but to reach it – she will not be able to rest, to breathe, until she is standing in the depths.

It is something warm and comforting, calling and beckoning for her to save it.

She must save it.

She must –

A hand on Hanako’s shoulder pulls her out of her trance.

It’s Akira. He looks pretty concerned, and she’s almost sure she’s going to hear a long rant about running off and making them worry – (did she once have a habit of running off in order to expect such a rant?) – but instead his expression just shifts until it is no longer readable. “The Shadows don’t attack you.”

That is absolutely the farthest thing from what she thought he’d say. “Huh?”

“The Shadows. They don’t attack you. You walked right past all of them.”

Well, of course they hadn’t. They won’t attack if they’re scared of you – this is what she had gathered from last time, after saving the Phantom Thieves. She’s too high-powered for the Shadows to believe she is worth attacking. It is, in fact, one of the reasons she doesn’t want to join the Phantom Thieves. If she fights their battles for them, what happens when she regains her memories and presumably leaves? “They’re scared of me,” she says.

He gives her a considering look. “Higher up, they’re scared of us too. Down here. . .”

She’d thought it obvious that she’s just more powerful than they are. Too high powered for how far they are in Mementos right now. Something tells her she’s been through something like this before – “something” being her recollection of Shadows and Personas and Tartarus – and it’s clear she’s reached the end of her journey. The Phantom Thieves have not. After all, if they must reach the depths of Mementos like she must, they still have a little way to go. She can feel it in her bones.

Futaba moves in front of Akira and gives Hanako a once-over. “I did a scan of you while we were following. You’re way OP. And you have two Personas. Did you know that?”

On the list of things Hanako felt were important the last time she was here, knowing how many Personas she has was not amongst them, so yes but no. Now that she thinks about it, she can feel them. It’s not as if she has magically gained a Persona in the time between Mementos visits – she has been aware of the presence of both this whole time, but it’s been more of a background buzz than a focus.

(She was aware of Messiah, of course. The other one just didn’t come to mind.)

“Last time I only noticed the one, because I wasn’t really paying attention. But there are definitely at least two,” Futaba continues. “Which means you have the same power as Joker.”

Hanako reaches into the depths of her mind to feel her Personas. “Messiah and Orpheus-Telos,” she states for Futaba.

What she notices more than anything is that some are missing. Ones she had Before – “Before” being before she died or whatever happened, not before she woke up, because at this point, she’s at least a little sure she died. Really, she has to have, because that’s the only logical explanation for the sheer stricken terror on Amada’s face when he saw her.

(Futaba hadn’t managed to find any information about Amada other than his name – Amada Ken. His school record is just as blocked off as Gekkoukan’s had been. Hanako finds this to be a correlation.)

The only way she can think of to explain the missing feeling is that she has a certain number of slots and most are empty. Which just sounds absurd, so she doesn’t bother mentioning it. Really only Akira might understand, but it’s not particularly urgent that she’s missing Personas. It wouldn’t accomplish anything for them to know – it is not as if she can magically gain them back. Instead, she looks back at the wall, where her hand lay resting against the center. “I need to get down there.”

Akira gives her another appraising look and beckons the rest of the Phantom Thieves from where they had been hanging out near the stairs – likely hanging back at his orders. “Mona, what’s down at the depths of Mementos?”

“I’ve never thought about it,” Morgana states thoughtfully. “Something to help me regain my memories.”

“So Savior’s need to be down there might be for a similar reason?” Akira asks, shooting a glance at Hanako’s hand, which is still pressed up against the geometric wall. Oh. She lowers her hand and turns to fully face the Phantom Thieves.

(Are they really going to keep calling her Savior?)

Morgana pauses to think about it, then nods. “To regain her memories? Maybe.”

Cool. Now she triple has to get down there.

Does she need the Phantom Thieves in order to go to Mementos? Is that a thing? So far, both times she’s been, they’ve either taken her in or taken her out. That doesn’t particularly set a precedent for her being able to do it herself. “Would I need to be Phantom Thief to go lower?”

Morgana’s still staring at the wall in front of them as he replies. “I think if we’ve unlocked it, you can go down. But we might have to be in Mementos with you. . .”

“Joker does solo missions sometimes,” Futaba pipes up. “With me as a guide. We can go down as far as we can as a group. So, you’d probably only need one of us if you need us at all.”

Oh, good. “Would I need one of you to actually enter Mementos?

Futaba holds her hand out. “Phone.” Hanako hands it over, but she can’t imagine why – if her old phone doesn’t work in the Metaverse, why would the new one? She’s proven wrong seconds later when Futaba powers it on and opens the app menu to inspect it. “Not with this new phone. We enter through an app – this one, see? The Metaverse app. You just need to know how to use it.”

Akira takes lead of the conversation again. “Well, we can head back up now. We got the requests done, so there’s no point in staying now that we’ve scanned Savior and got some training in.”

They really are going to keep calling her Savior. Unbelievable. It sounds so pretentious. And cult-y. She hates cults. (All reasonable people hate cults, of course, but she feels hers to a particularly strong hate.) Admittedly, though, she has no idea what she’d call herself if given the chance, so maybe Savior really isn’t that bad.

There are chimes of agreement from the rest of the Phantom Thieves and they all start heading upstairs, at which point Hanako finds out something interesting.

Morgana can turn into a bus.

She’s not even that surprised, really, it’s just –

Isn’t this like that Studio Ghibli movie?

. . . She decides not to voice that thought.

“We don’t usually walk in Mementos unless it’s necessary,” Ann says. “I’m surprised your feet aren’t killing you. It might be a tight squeeze but since Crow isn’t here. . .” she trails off at that, but herds Hanako into the cat-bus nonetheless.

She ends up a little bit squished. She sits next to Makoto – who’s driving – in the front seat, along with Ann and Haru, with Ryuji, Akira, Yusuke, and Futaba in the back. (Or, as Ann put it, “Girls up front, nerds in the back. Yes, Skull counts as a nerd. Yes, I’m including Oracle as a nerd instead of a girl. No offense Oracle.”) The drive is presumably much quicker than her walk down, but she doesn’t remember much from then other than her need to go deeper.

Eventually they are standing back in Shibuya in their normal clothes once more – not that Hanako’s clothes had ever changed – and parting ways. Haru helps her speculate on her previous life on the way home, all in good fun, and they come up with some interesting stories based on the memories she does have.

_(“What if you were in the PSIA as an experiment with Persona-users and you learned something you weren’t supposed to, so they erased your memories and dumped you in Mementos?”)_

_(“What if I was kidnapped as a baby and lived in Mementos my entire life, and head trauma caused me to forget everything?”)_

That night, she lies awake and seriously ponders what her life was like before. She knows she’ll dream of it – of everything and nothing at the same time – and will never quite piece it together in the morning. Maybe she should start keeping a dream journal instead of a memory journal. The memory journal hasn’t done her much good so far.

. . . Well, she supposes that the memory journal can also work as a dream journal, since she only seems to be dreaming of her past. She makes a mental note to write everything she remembers from her dreams down in the morning and turns in for the night.

She does dream, as expected.

She dreams of the color blue.

* * *

_Blue eyes, unnaturally so, yellow scarf, yellow scarf, yellow scarf –_

_“Have we met before?”_

_Blue hair, soft voice, gentle laughter –_

_“I’ve never been afraid of death, ------.”_

_Blue room, rising, rising, rising –_

_“Welcome to the ------ ----.”_

_Blue clothes, yellow eyes, silver hair –_

_“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”_

* * *

She wakes up gasping.

Her alarm is buzzing.

Saturday, November 5th, 6:02 am.

She silences the alarm and jots down what she remembers from her dream – which unfortunately boils down to one word: blue. Very soon after that she’s out the door and on her way to Café Leblanc for another day at work. She likes working at Leblanc. It’s mind numbingly simple, and it gives her time to think about other things. For instance –

Well, everything. Who is she? Who was she? Why did she wake up in Mementos of all places? Why does she feel so drawn to the depths of Mementos? What brought her back to life? How? The list goes on and on, so she never runs out of things to think about while completing her tasks on autopilot.

She looks automatically to greet the next customer when the bell chimes, only to pause. This isn’t a regular. It’s a police officer who she’s never seen before, not even standing out on the street keeping an eye on things. “Welcome to Leblanc! I’ll be right with you,” she says in her best customer service voice as she grabs a mug and waits for his order. The policeman – around her age (if she knew what age she is), a rugged sort of handsome, silver hair with kind eyes – nods and takes a seat, glancing around Leblanc with some amount of intrigue.

“You worked here long. . .” he pauses and glances at her nametag. “Hanako?”

She taps her fingers on the counter. Maybe he’s a monthly regular instead of a daily regular, and she just hasn’t encountered him yet. It would explain his interest in her. “About a month. What would you like?”

He looks at Leblanc’s frankly impressive selection of coffees before answering. She’s not sure if this means he’s not a regular or if it means he’s not used to having to actually place his order. Boss is out running an errand, so she can’t check. “Just a plain black coffee.”

The policeman doesn’t seem inclined to continue conversation after that, so she picks a basic coffee bean and sets to work. It is an awkward silence that she gently places his coffee in front of him, and in an awkward silence that he sips it. He occasionally steals glances at her when he thinks she isn’t looking, but it’s not like she has much else to look at. Leblanc isn’t that busy on a good day.

The more Hanako looks at him, the more – well, he feels exactly like Amada. Familiar, and terrifyingly so. What was it that had flashed in her head when she saw Amada’s recognition? An arcana and a rank. She wipes down the counters and accidentally makes contact with the policeman’s hand –

 _Star. Rank 10. MAX_.

She knows him.

She has to know him – this is the same thing that had happened with Amada, who had clearly recognized him. Plus, there’s that rank thing again. She doesn’t know what it means, but if she’s maxed it, she has to know him, right? And that means he knows her. Did he come here exclusively looking for her? Not a regular after all, but someone who sought her out?

Are there people looking for her?

. . . Does she want there to be?

He finishes his coffee, pays, and gets up to leave. He seems to be looking outside at a woman, who sits leaning against the wall opposite the door. If the policeman knows her, what are the chance the woman knows her too? She tries to get a closer look without seeming too obvious.

Red hair, sunglasses, expensive looking clothing. Not necessarily an outfit she thinks any average society person would be caught dead in – the leather jacket and loosely cradled motorcycle helmet make sure of that – but one that is clearly high quality. “Thank you for the coffee, Hanako-san,” the policeman says, and begins to walk out.

He’s just opening the door when she yelps and rushes forward. “Wait –“ he pauses in the doorway and looks back at her with something akin to hope in his eyes. “Do I. . . know you?” It seems almost a foolish question to ask after she says it, but by then it is too late.

The policeman’s expression shifts to a softer, more neutral one. He looks at the woman waiting for him, then back at Hanako. “You don’t. Not right now. But you will.” He turns and nearly makes it all the way out before glancing back at her once more. “Sanada Akihiko. I’ll see you soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohhh snap it's akihiko  
> side note this fic is like, purely self-indulgent, i'm just taking you guys along for the ride lol  
> also i had to google this: the psia is, i think, the japanese secret intelligence thing? like cia or mi6 i guess


	4. iv

The day before the Phantom Thieves are set to infiltrate the Palace they’re working on, Akira pulls Hanako aside.

“We’re infiltrating the Palace tomorrow,” he says. “There are some things you need to know first.”

She’s not quite sure she understands Palaces all that much without seeing one, but she declined to go see the one they’re working on. That’s their territory – the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, who steal the distorted desires of corrupted adults. It’s not Hanako’s territory, who doesn’t remember anything and is more comfortable in a less personalized setting like Mementos.

Boss nods his approval at Akira’s request, so she takes her apron off and follows the boy up to his attic bedroom. It’s dusty in the way that attics tend to be, but otherwise clean – if a bit cluttered with knick-knacks. She likes the cluttered look, honestly. It’s as if he has taken what he’s been given and made it into a home. The ability to adapt is admirable and familiar in an odd sort of way.

He sits on his bed and sort of gestures to next to him, so she sits on the bed too. He looks. . . nervous. Nervous people do not generally tend to have good news, so she’s not sure she’s looking forward to what he has to say. It has to be important, because he interrupted her shift to tell her it, but it probably isn’t good.

“Akechi is going to betray us,” he blurts.

Which – okay, she’d been meaning to get to the bottom of why they’re all so shady about Akechi, but it’s only been a couple weeks since she noticed it, so she hadn’t done much investigating quite yet. Not to mention, he’s the only Phantom Thief that has yet to make any time to talk to her – she’d chalked it up to being busy with detective duties, but not being able to interact with him frequently made it a bit hard to see what made the others so uneasy. To get told outright is a pleasant surprise, but betrayal is. . .

He’d seemed perfectly pleasant during their admittedly brief interactions – though they’d never talked one on one, he had been polite during Phantom Thief meetings. Pleasant demeanor, soft voice, dressed in a light brown suit, longer mousey-brown hair, betrayal – why does this seem so familiar?

“Is he in a cult?” she blurts without thinking, and then promptly snaps her mouth shut. ‘Is he in a cult?’ what kind of question is that? How was that at all relevant to what she was thinking about before – is that why it’s so familiar? Did someone like Akechi betray her because of a cult? What sort of life do you have to live – to trust and be betrayed by a cultist?

Akira looks rightfully taken aback by her question. “Not that I know of? That’s not what I was going to say.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure why I said it either. Please continue.”

“Okay,” he takes a deep breath. “We’re not sure who he’s working for, but he intends to turn the Phantom Thieves in.”

Can you turn in people who work in a world that doesn’t technically exist to the general public? Really, there’s no proof that the Metaverse exists outside of the Metaverse app, which is innocuous in and of itself. It’d take a lot to convince a jury of such a world, and even more to actually catch Akira and the others in the act.

“The Metaverse app can take in anyone nearby. He can lead them in – tomorrow, when he wants us to steal the Treasure. And, being the leader, I’ll be the one they target –“ he breaks off for a moment, seemingly unsure of how to continue. “I’ll be the one taken in. At that point, he’ll be free to – stage my suicide.”

Holy shit.

(Hanako feels she has earned a swear over this, though generally she tries to avoid it.)

“Tell me you have a plan?” she asks instead of the million other questions buzzing through her head. Like, for example. ‘if you already knew this why have you been letting him hang around’ and ‘is he a known murderer or will this be a first time thing for him’ and ‘are you sure this isn’t a cult thing’.

“We do. That’s why I’m telling you. Part of it – involves letting him think he succeeded. My death as the leader of the Phantom Thieves. . . it would be broadcasted all over Japan, so. . .” he trails off.

Idly she notes that Akira and Joker have vaguely different personalities. They both joke around a lot, but Akira is generally less confident in real life than he is when he’s wearing the mask. This might be on purpose – in real life, he just reads as a nervous boy with glances. You would never be able to tell he’s the leader of the Phantom Thieves. It’s sort of like a Superman effect. “But you won’t actually die?”

“Well, the plan is not to, yes,” he says with relatively little confidence, which is definitely not worrying in the slightest. “Uh, but there are variables. And – I just. If I do die, you didn’t know me. It won’t really work for the others, but we just met you a month ago. Akechi knows you’re not a Phantom Thief. If anyone comes by asking, you’re a friend of Haru’s and she introduced you to Boss and – I’m just the delinquent he’s taking care of.” He says all this in a rush. It’s the most she’s ever heard him say without being interrupted.

Akechi might know she’s not a Phantom Thief, but he also knows she’s been there for a few meetings. She frowns. “But –“

“This is important. I don’t want your life to be ruined when you don’t even remember who you are. Especially since you don’t really know me.”

Hanako is strongly reminded of someone else. Someone –

_“Promise me that you won’t sacrifice yourself.”_

_“Hamuko –“_

_“Promise. If this ends the way we think it will, you will let me be the one to do it.”_

_“I –“_

_“Minato.”_

_“. . . I promise.”_

A nostalgic feeling washes over her.

Hamuko. Hamuko. _Hamuko._

Akira’s saying something, most likely telling her the ins and outs of the plan, but she’s long stopped listening. “Hanako?” he says when she doesn’t respond for a while.

“Hamuko.”

“Huh?”

“My name is Hamuko.”

“You just remembered?”

She nods and pulls out her memory journal. She doesn’t need to write this down now that she remembers, but it feels like she should document it anyway. “Arisato Hamuko.” It sounds right – it sounds perfect. Hamuko is just close enough to Hanako that she can see why that was good enough for a while. “Sometimes I hear – past conversations? That’s how I knew about Personas and Shadows and my Evoker.”

At some point she will need to think about the Arisato Fund – whether it is connected to her, and the implications of it if it is. She’ll leave that errant thought for later, though, perhaps when she knows more about herself.

“And you just now heard a conversation?” Akira asks, looking thoughtful.

“With someone named Minato. It was similar to the one we were having. I think that’s what triggered it.”

She flips to the first page of her memory journal and scans it. Kirijo-senpai is Kirijo Mitsuru. _Empress_. Akihiko-senpai is Sanada Akihiko – she knew she knew him, why he was so cryptic about it instead of outright helping her is beyond her. _Star_. Ken-kun has to be Amada Ken. _Justice._ And, of course, Koromaru. Those make sense. She’s still missing many, but that’s not why she’s looking.

Min. . . that has to be Minato. She writes ‘Minato’ after it, leaving spot to fill in his family name later on. She can’t grasp an arcana for him, but that much doesn’t really seem to matter when recovering her memories. She’s not even sure why everyone has an arcana.

Hamuko turns the page and stares down at it. This is the blue door page. ‘Blue door – silver hair, yellow eyes, blue clothes. In trouble? AKIRA.’

Right, Akira.

She looks back up at him, realizing he’s been sitting patiently and watching as she filled in the blanks. And, most likely reading over her shoulder, so there’s no reason to continue ignoring his connection to the blue door. “Can I ask you something?” He nods his assent, so she turns the journal to give him a clearer view. “What’s up with the blue door?”

It’s clearly a question he expected from her at some point. She knows he saw her staring at it back when they first found her in Mementos. It’s been a silent game of who will crack first since then. “The Velvet Room. It’s where I go to fuse Personas. I guess that’s why you can see it too.”

_“Welcome to the Velvet Room.”_

“I’ve been in there before,” she mutters more for herself than for Akira.

This catches him off guard. “You have? I just assumed – I guess I just thought it put you on edge because you didn’t know what it was. Not to mention Caroline hanging out in front of it. She can be kinda creepy.”

She can’t argue that the little girl isn’t creepy. “It just feels wrong. Different. It’s. . . hard to describe.”

And it is hard to describe. Blue is comfortable, warm, safe. The blue door is completely the opposite. Even being near it gives her the creeps, like if she gets any closer something will go terribly, terribly wrong. Some part of her says that she should not feel like that, that the Velvet Room was once a place of safety and friendship. A small island of peace amongst the chaos of Shadows and Personas.

A phone starts ringing. Hamuko reaches for hers, only to realize halfway through the motion that it doesn’t sound like her new ringtone. Akira shakes his head at her glance and confirms it’s not his, either. They look at each other in befuddlement for a moment before she remembers that she charges and carries around her old phone with her - just in case - and digs it out. She briefly pauses to consider that, last she checked, the phone didn’t work. She answers nonetheless. “Hello?”

“Arisato-san?” The voice is calm, professional, and slightly crackling from what is presumably a bad connection. It’s a man’s voice. She vaguely recognizes it, but the name and face escape her.

“Yes, that’s me,” she says. If he knows her name then he has to know something about her, and that’s pretty much the only thing keeping her from hanging up. That, and the fact that the call is on her old phone. She pulls her phone away from her ear to check the caller ID – Theo. That’s not a name in her contacts, she’s sure of it. She’s been staring at that contact list for a month now. Why did caller ID work, then?

“Oh, good. There’s no time to explain. Please listen very carefully. The Velvet Room has been compromised. You must go to the Depths of Mementos –“ his voice crackles out for a second – “the game has been rigged, and you are in danger. Please –“ the voice cuts out. She checks the phone screen to see that the call has ended.

“The Velvet Room has been compromised. . .” she echoes softly.

This catches Akira’s attention, as it should. “So you were actually sensing something wrong with it? I just thought it might be something to do with your memories.”

She nods and opens her phone to message the other Phantom Thieves with the update.

* * *

_Saturday_

_11/19_

_5:39pm_

**_Savior_ ** _changed the group name to **operation help Hamuko-chan**._

**_Savior_ ** _: I have some updates._

**_Savior_ ** _: My name is Arisato Hamuko._

**_Savior_ ** _: There’s a reason I need to get to the depths, but I’m still not sure what exactly it is. I’ll leave Akira to explain what we do know._

**_Queen_ ** _: Well, it’s good that you remembered your name._

**_Queen_ ** _: I think the depths conversations should wait until after the Palace infiltration if you don’t mind, Arisato-san._

**_Panther_ ** _: no way, she gains a last name and suddenly ur all professional?_

**_Queen_ ** _: She hasn’t given us permission to use her first name._

**_Savior_ ** _: Haha, I don’t mind! Hamuko is really close to Hanako anyways._

* * *

Hamuko closes the chat and looks back up at Akira, who is lost in thought. “I hope everything goes well tomorrow,” she says with concern. “Good luck.” He nods absently and she gets up to go back to Haru’s place. Her shift ended while they were talking.

The train ride is eventless, and soon she is plopping her stuff down in the large room she currently calls home. She has a few hours until she absolutely needs to go to bed, but nothing really to do. After contemplating for a little bit, she showers and changes into her pajamas. Haru gave her access to a few streaming services, right? She pulls out her phone and lays in her bed.

Sleeping Beauty or Princess and the Frog?

Sleeping Beauty will put her to sleep. It’s not nearly late enough for that yet. Princess and the Frog it is. She clicks on it decisively and settles in for the movie. And the next one. And the next one. Before she knows it it’s nearly midnight and she should really probably go to bed. She knows she will not rest peacefully tonight, not after what Akira told her earlier, but she puts her phone away anyway. Hypothetically, she could stay up a little longer. She doesn’t have work tomorrow.

_Tick, tock._

_Tick, tock._

_Tick, tock._

When did the clock get so loud? She has half a mind to take it down and throw it out the window, and she feels she understands The Tell-Tale Heart all the more. She has not committed murder, no, but the constant steady rhythm of the clock is going to drive her insane.

When did she read The Tell-Tale Heart?

Why does she remember innocuous things but not big things like – whether or not she has parents? A family?

 _Tick, tock_.

She glances at the clock just as it turns midnight, and for a moment she panics. Over what, she doesn’t know. For a moment – but only for a moment – everything seems to take on a green hue, then returns to normal. Was that a figment of her imagination, or. . .? No, it must’ve been.

But then –

What made her so panicked over midnight?

(It happened last month, too, didn’t it? The night she woke up?)

. . . Perhaps it is better left ignored. She’ll give herself a headache if she thinks about it too hard. She burrows into the comfy bed and forces her eyes shut. After a while, her breathing evens and she falls asleep. For once, her dream is not a collage of half-finished memories. Instead, she dreams, and remembers.

* * *

_A blue-haired boy – Minato, her brain supplies – sits next to her on a train. He’s dozing off against the window as music plays through his headphones. It’s loud enough for her to hear but muffled enough that she won’t be able to tell what song he’s listening to without some amount of concentration._

_“Iwatodai,” an overhead voice says. “Now arriving at Iwatodai.”_

_“Min,” says her own voice. “This is our stop.” He doesn’t acknowledge her, so she reaches over and plucks his headphones off. “Come on, loser, it’s already late.”_

_He grumbles but grabs his stuff and follows her off the train. He doesn’t bother to pause his music or put his headphones back on, providing a relieving amount of noise for the walk. She’d wear her own headphones, of course, but her MP3 died on the way there. She’s never been the greatest at keeping it charged._

_They walk in comfortable silence with Minato’s music keeping them company. Hamuko pulls out her phone to check the time. 11:59 pm. “We’re not going to make it,” she mutters. Minato gives a noncommittal shrug, which is what she expected. He’s never been too bothered about the midnight phenomenon. To be honest, she’s more worried about their late arrival. She’s not even sure anyone will be awake to greet them._

_She double checks the slip of paper she has for directions to make sure they’re going the correct way –_

_The world takes on a green hue. Minato’s music cuts out, and she looks back to find him staring down at his MP3 in disappointment. “I always hope it’ll keep working,” he says without looking up. The moon behind him is larger than life, bathed in the same green glow that surrounds them._

_Hamuko sighs and keeps walking, hoping that it won’t take long to get to the dorm. After a moment she hears Minato fall in place behind her. Her feet splash in a puddle. She grimaces. They’ve never figured out what the puddles are, but she knows it hasn’t rained recently in Iwatodai. They pass coffins, coffins, coffins. Neither of them pauses. This is their normal._

_After a while they arrive at the Iwatodai dorm, a co-ed dorm that will be housing them due to their whole. . . situation. She hesitates outside of the door – if there’s someone in there waiting for them, it’ll be weird if they just sort of appear when the midnight phenomenon ends – but Minato goes in without a care in the world. She sighs and follows him in. Might as well._

_All the lights are on, but no one is around. How are all the lights on? Electricity stops working during the hour following midnight. “Hello?” she calls tentatively, knowing that she will not receive a response._

_“You’re late,” says a little boy from next to her. Where did he come from? She’s never seen anyone but Minato during this time. “I’ve been waiting for a long time for you. Now if you want to proceed, please sign your names there.” He gestures to a contract. It opens of its own accord. “It’s a contract. Don’t worry, all it says is that you’ll accept full responsibility for your actions. You know, the usual stuff.”_

_Minato shrugs and signs his name immediately, but Hamuko pauses for a moment. Signing a contract for a creepy kid that shouldn’t even be a non-coffin during this time is pretty suspect, after all. But as she looks closer, it really does just say ‘I chooseth this fate of mine own free will.’ Which, you know, is still pretty weird, but at least it’s not anything that weird. Pretty vague, as contracts go. Right below ‘Arisato Minato,’ she writes her own name. ‘Arisato Hamuko.’_

_The boy takes the contract and closes it. “No one can escape time. It delivers us all to the same end. You can’t plug your ears and cover your eyes. . . and so it begins.” The boy disappears and the lights go out. Everything is back to being bathed in the green glow._

_“Who’s there?” calls a voice from the stairway. Yet another person aware during this time? A girl about their age stands in the shadows. Her hand shakily reaches for a gun that’s strapped by her skirt._

_“Takeba, wait!” says another, more mature voice. That adds to the tally of people that are currently not coffins – which, in Hamuko’s experience, has never gone above two. A redhead appears in their field of view. She has a similar gun strapped to her leg. Just as she calls out, the green glow disappears. Minato’s music starts up again._

_The lights come back on, bright and blinding, and the first girl is no longer in shadow. She looks at them shocked, then sheepish. “I didn’t think you’d arrive so late,” says the redhead. “My name is Kirijo Mitsuru. I’m one of the students who live in this dorm.”_

_“Who’re they?” asks the first girl – Takeba? – in a soft voice._

_“They’re transfer students. It was a last-minute decision to assign them here, due to their unique situation. They will likely eventually be moved to the gendered dorms,” Kirijo explains._

_Takeba frowns at them consideringly. Looking for what, Hamuko doesn’t know, but she assumes it has something to do with the midnight phenomenon. “Is it okay for them to be here?”_

_“I guess we’ll see.” Kirijo turns back to them. “This is Takeba Yukari. She’ll be a second year this spring, just like you two.”_

_Hamuko bows quickly. “Nice to meet you! My name is Arisato Hamuko, and this is my brother Arisato Minato. . . he doesn’t talk much. You can just call us by our first names if it makes it easier.”_

_“Nice to meet you too,” Takeba says, eyes flitting between the twins. That’s to be expected. No one ever believes they’re related, much less twins._

_“You two should get some rest,” Kirijo says into the awkward air. “Takeba, show her to her room. Arisato Minato, come with me.”_

_Hamuko dutifully follows Takeba up to the third floor, past all of the rooms, and to the last door on the right. Takeba turns toward her nervously. “About earlier. . . you didn’t see anything strange, did you?”_

_She pauses to consider it. Of course she did, but then again she’s been experiencing the midnight thing for as long as she can remember. The only strange thing about tonight has been how many people also experienced it. So. . . “No,” she shakes her head. “Goodnight, Takeba-san,” she says, then promptly enters her room and shuts it in Takeba’s face._

_She’ll apologize for being rude in the morning._

_For now, she just wants peace and quiet._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a persona tumblr that i sometimes post about this fic on!!! it's [bluevelvet-room](https://bluevelvet-room.tumblr.com) go say hi to me thx


	5. v

Saturday passes without incident.

The Phantom Thieves – sans Akira – return Saturday night and bring news that the first part of the plan worked. Akira was captured by the police following a betrayal from Akechi. They scattered without the Treasure. All that’s left by the end of the day is for Akechi to make his move.

It’s Sunday that’s stressful. Downright nerve-wracking at best. No matter what, news of Akira’s death should hit by the end of the day. Until then (and after), it’s a job of acting normal and going about their lives. Hamuko doesn’t have work – best to keep her distance from Leblanc for now – so she heads out to the dine in Shibuya just for something do to.

(She might have spent all of the day before lounging around, catching up on all the Disney movies she seems to have missed, and moping about her lack of memories, but you can’t prove it. Either way, she feels it was a very productive use of her time.)

The diner is busier than usual, full of students on their day off. Thankfully, she still manages to snag a booth that’s relatively secluded so she can focus on whatever she decides to do. And by that she means anything but think about Akira’s impending doom, really. She’s only known him for a month, but that doesn’t mean she wants him to die.

 _Of course_ she doesn’t want him to die. What kind of person wants anyone to die? Aside from Akechi. And whoever he’s working for. And whoever she knew before that betrayed her and was also in a cult, apparently. Actually, there’s an unreasonable amount of people she knows of that want people to die – “unreasonable” meaning more than zero.

But back to what she was doing. She opens her memory journal and stares down at the most recent entry for her dreams. It’s surprisingly detailed – usually her dreams are disjointed, full of feelings and pictures that she can’t recall in the morning. This one was like watching a movie in first person.

It must’ve been her introduction to some of the people in her contacts list. Her brother, obviously, she knew before the memory took place, even if she can’t remember it. Kirijo Mitsuru, Takeba Yukari. People she knew once. Strong nostalgia crashes down on her, a tsunami of feelings and memories she can’t quite describe. She had entertained the idea of family, of course, but the reality of actually having one – whether predetermined or found – is almost beautifully melancholy.

It’s clear now that the people of her past know she’s alive – the redhead she saw waiting for Sanada Akihiko very much resembled Kirijo Mitsuru, now that Hamuko’s seen what she looks like – so why hasn’t Minato reached out to her? Why haven’t any of them attempted to explain who they are? Their importance to her? Why leave her in the dark?

Though, she supposes she might have trouble reaching out if the situation were reverse, especially as it’s obvious they are aware of her memory problem. Still, if simple conversations are enough to trigger her memories, then why wouldn’t talking to the people that actually knew her help as well? It should help more, even. The only way to know is to try.

Unfortunately, they seem dead set on remaining no-contact with her. There’s no hope of getting in contact with an heiress, even if they might be expecting her to try, so Kirijo is out of the question. She knows where Amada goes to school, which might help, but he seems likely to bolt at first sight of her. Sanada didn’t leave any contact information when he stopped by, almost definitely on purpose. And she hasn’t even interacted with Takeba and Minato in the present yet, so no hope there.

(Calling them by their last names feels somehow wrong, but the current version of her doesn’t know them, so she pushes the feeling down – except for her brother. Calling him Arisato would just be wrong.)

On second thought – even knowing some measure more than she did when she woke up in Mementos, contacting them might not be the best idea. She doesn’t know much at all about them. Not even her own twin brother. Knowing they’re out there isn’t the same as remembering everything, and it might just hurt both sides of this situation if she did reach out.

Besides, she only knows the others from a sort of observation and logic standpoint, not from actually remembering them. Right now, she can say she remembers her brother, Koromaru, and to some lesser extent Takeba and Kirijo. And even then, she only remembers meeting Takeba and Kirijo, nothing else. Is there a difference between remembering something and knowing it?

Intrinsically, she feels that there is.

It makes sense that they might be deliberately preventing her from contacting them. She doesn’t know them, and they don’t really know her. Humans are shaped by their experiences and she doesn’t have the experiences that once shaped her, no matter how much she hopes her personality is intact.

She turns her journal back to the original contacts page and starts filling out her new information. This is something she meant to do yesterday, after the dream, but did not. It’s useful to have something to do, anyway. Nothing else is going to take the mind power necessary to ignore the ever-ticking clock –

Nor, in fact, the news station playing in the background of the diner, tuned in with constant updates on the Phantom Thief in custody.

At least she’ll know when they announce his suicide.

So – leads.

Takeba Yukari is the one she hasn’t explored, considering how new that development is. There’s no harm in looking her up. If she doesn’t find anything, then she doesn’t find anything. She rallies herself and then types the name into her phone’s search bar.

**_Takeba Yukari_ **

_Actress_

_Known for her role as Pink Argus in Featherman Rangers, though she started her career as a model._

_ Read more: _

There’s a picture confirming it is indeed the same Takeba Yukari from her dream – memory – thing. Featherman Rangers, huh? Hadn’t Futaba said something about that when they first rescued Hamuko? Something about – the actress who plays Pink Argus went to Gekkoukan High School and is dating Kirijo Mitsuru.

Well.

Maybe she should introduce them when her memories are back. Futaba’s too shy for them to be any sort of close, but obviously she likes cartoons like that. And Pink Argus in particular if she knows where the actress went to school. Obsessed with cartoons, like –

Like?

She loses track of the thought. Something about someone she knew before, or something like that.

Her finger hovers over the read more – intrigued to see the information Futaba had given her with her own eyes rather than to find out more about Takeba – but before she decides to hit it, her screen is obscured by a message.

* * *

_Sunday_

_11/20_

_1:34pm_

**_Lucia_ ** _: Can you ask your friend to stop attempting to find information about you?_

**_Lucia_ ** _: She’s very persistent._

**_Lucia_ ** _: We would prefer you recover your memories naturally._

**_Arisato Hamuko_ ** _: We?_

**_Lucia_ ** _: Oh, forgive me. I’m Yamagishi Fuuka._

**_Lucia_ ** _: It’s in your best interest that we don’t force your memories._

**_Arisato Hamuko_ ** _: . . . Alright. I’ll ask her to stop._

**_Lucia_ ** _: Thank you._

* * *

Yamagishi Fuuka must be Fuuka-chan from her contacts. For all of their efforts to prevent her from learning the major things about her previous life, they’re not keeping her from learning their names. That’s good. At least she doesn’t need to stumble blindly in the dark until she regains her memories somehow.

Should she message Futaba right now?

. . . No, she shouldn’t. Futaba can multitask, but it’s better if her undivided attention is going towards Akira right now. No harm in waiting until he’s home safe since Futaba isn’t likely to be looking into Hamuko’s past right now anyway. There are priorities here and she should not be one of them.

Instead, she turns back to her open journal and reads back what she has written so far, adding what she’s just learned along the way. She doesn’t want to miss anything; it might become relevant later.

* * *

_Akihiko-senpai – Sanada Akihiko. Star. Rank 10?_

_Fuuka-chan – Yamagishi Fuuka. Concerned about my memories. Hacker, maybe? Stopping Futaba._

_Kirijo-senpai – Kirijo Mitsuru. Empress. Has not directly contacted me, but is aware of my presence. Leblanc._

_Min – Arisato Minato. Twin brother. “Arisato fund” “special situation” orphans?_

_Yuka-tan – Takeba Yukari? Seems to match up. Famous, dating Kirijo. Has not contacted me._

_Ken-kun – Amada Ken. Justice. Rank 10?_

_Koromaru – cute dog._

* * *

Even with all the new information she has accrued since she woke up, she’s still missing more than half of the names on the list, and she has limited knowledge of those she does know. Sanada is a police officer, Takeba is an actress, Kirijo is an heiress. . . what does her brother do? The likelihood of finding out via the internet is low, but still. . . curiosity begins to win out and she erases her search on Takeba in favor of putting in her brother’s name.

Her finger hovers over the enter button.

Does she really want to know?

. . . No.

If she found out, it would just feel – impersonal. The divide that separates them would be clear as day, because she had to find out her own brother’s job from the internet. It can wait. She can wait. Maybe she can ask Yamagishi, at some point, if they come in contact again.

She turns to the next blank page in her journal – which isn’t very organized, she’ll admit – and writes the things she knows versus the things she remembers. The distinction is clear to her, and she wants it to be clear in the journal as well, even if at this point the journal is bordering on useless. What she remembers, she remembers, and what she knows, she thinks about constantly.

* * *

**_Know:_ **

  * _Kirijo – heiress, in charge._
  * _Sanada – policeman_
  * _Amada – shujin student_
  * _Takeba – actress_
  * _Yamagishi – contacted me?_
  * _Gekkoukan – wearing uniform when I woke up_
  * _Theo? Do not know nor remember. Velvet Room related._



**_Remember:_ **

  * _Favorite color – orange_
  * _Blue – Velvet Room, brother_
  * _Supernatural – Evoker, Persona, Shadows, Tartarus, midnight phenomenon_
  * _Koromaru – cute, cute dog_
  * _Velvet Room – in danger_
  * _First day at Iwatodai_
  * _Minato – brother_
  * _Name – Arisato Hamuko_



* * *

Proportionally, she doesn’t have much information about her life at all, remembered or otherwise. She’s not a very patient person. It’s been a month or so since she woke up in Mementos, and she barely even knows her own name. Not making much progress is a little off-putting.

Her list leaves nothing for her to research. She can’t investigate the Velvet Room situation without Akira – or travelling to the depths of Mementos, which she can’t do without the Phantom Thieves – she can’t pick up a shift at Leblanc or even go near it right now, and she can’t contact anyone she knows, past or otherwise.

Briefly, she reconsiders contacting the people from her past. Takeba and Kirijo as people in the public eye would be hard to get ahold of. Sanada and Amada, on the other hand, would be relatively easy. Sanada is a police officer, so all she’d have to do is figure out where in the city he works, and she could either just walk in or ring the office and ask for him. Amada, despite Hamuko’s surety that he would bolt at first sight of her, could easily be tracked down at Shujin. If it weren’t Sunday, she’d be half-tempted to go right now and corner him for answers.

But –

She’s never going to get anywhere if she doesn’t trust people who were once her friends. (This, she’s sure of. She can feel it – they are not her enemies.) Yamagishi said not to try to find anything about her past, so she won’t, beyond what she already knows. Somehow, she thinks actively trying to contact the people who once knew her involves trying to seek out her past.

(Plus, she’s pretty sure Amada would be traumatized if she cornered him like that. He was downright terrified when he saw her originally.)

So she can’t go to work, she can’t talk to anyone, and she can’t do anything productive towards finding out who she used to be. That means she has absolutely nothing to do for the next however many hours until Akira’s death is announced, real or not.

Hamuko looks around the diner. It’s full of high school students on their day off, and it’s only getting more crowded as the day goes by. No point in taking up space if she’s not even really here to do anything now that she’s finished with her memory journal for now. She heaves a sigh and pays, packing up her things neatly into her little bag. Walking around Shibuya couldn’t hurt. She hasn’t really explored Tokyo yet – she’s been busy with her memories and newfound job.

Let’s see, there’s an arcade – probably also filled with teenagers, so that’s out – a CD shop, which she’s already been to, and a few other shops that don’t seem particularly interesting. She refuses to go down Blue Door Alley, even knowing what the blue door is, so not that either. She’s already been down to the mall and it didn’t seem all that interesting. She might have to venture out into other districts of Tokyo in order to occupy her mind.

_“I’ve always wanted to go to Jinbocho, but it’s a bit far. . .”_

. . . Jinbocho it is, in honor of whatever girl she just heard in her head. Mostly because she sounds cute, and if that isn’t reason enough to listen, Hamuko doesn’t know what is. She turns and heads to the station, taking a minute to figure out which train she needs to get on to get to Jinbocho.

Within the hour she’s there and –

Oh, wow. She’s never trusted a cute girl more in her life. There’s just so many books! She glances around the little street with wonder. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen this many bookstores in one place in her entire life.

She spends hours walking around the shops, but it only feels like a few minutes. She leaves the district with a bag full of books in hand. A guide to Greek mythology – she finds she’s particularly curious about Greek myths – some astronomy, a book on tarot, and one on Arsene Lupin, the basis of Akira’s Persona. It’s getting dark as she boards the train back to Shibuya.

The news on Akira’s capture is still playing in the subway as the train pulls into the stop. She stops just to see if his death has been announced yet – it doesn’t seem so. It won’t be long now that the sun has started setting. No matter what, the news will be that he died. She just has to remind herself that it might not be true.

A bark draws her out of her thoughts, and suddenly she is on the floor with something licking her.

A dog?

A very _wiggly_ dog.

“Koromaru, no!” says a gruff voice from nearby. The dog is pulled off her. She starts brushing herself off, then registers what was said. _Koromaru_? She looks closer at the dog.

“Oh my gosh, Koro-chan!” Hamuko finds herself cooing. “Fancy seeing you here!”

Koro-chan’s wiggles double at the sound of her voice. She busies herself with petting, though she does get up off the floor. She has some amount of dignity. (She’s not sure how much dignity you can have after being knocked over by a 20-pound dog, but she’s going to ignore that.)

She is almost so distracted by Koro that she doesn’t realize that the voice that said his name is most likely someone she knows. Knew. Whatever.

Almost.

_Moon. Rank 10. MAX._

She locks eyes with a man. She has to look up to do so – he’s taller than her. (Not that that is a very hard thing to be.) He doesn’t look too surprised to see her, but there is something in his expression that she can’t quite decipher. He’s hunched over a little, almost as if to compensate for how much shorter she is. His brown hair is pulled into a ponytail, and he’s wearing a white turtleneck tucked into jeans. For a moment she imagines a peacoat and beanie on him.

So much for avoiding anything even semi-related to before she woke up.

The man sighs. He looks deeply, intensely tired, as if he’s worked every shift he could possibly pick up at a high-stress job for the past year. Honestly, he could’ve been. It’s not as if she would know what he’s been doing in the time she’s been gone. (Or, really, what he was doing before, since she doesn’t remember him.) “Shinjiro. I can see you’re wondering.”

“I wasn’t going to ask,” Hamuko says defensively. “Yama – Fuuka asked me not to look into my past, so I haven’t.”

Shinjiro – Shinji? – snorts. “Must be killing you.”

“It is,” she admits. “But you guys know more than me at this point. I trust you.”

There’s something about his features that make him seem gruff at first glance, but it melts into something much softer at her words. They were close, then. She wishes she had any memory of him – there’s something heartbreaking about being recognized and unable to return the favor. He opens his mouth to say something when she hears it –

“We have breaking news; the Phantom Thief held in custody has committed suicide.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy birthday to my baby sister who doesn't read this so there's no point to it but oh well  
> i have a [tumblr](https://bluevelvet-room.tumblr.com/)  
> tune in next time for the latest edition of "kat has never written a chaptered fic in her life and it shows"


	6. vi

Hamuko goes back to work almost immediately. Any longer and they wouldn’t be able to play it off as a quick vacation, and now more than ever they must keep up appearances. As it is she feels suspicious for having taken any time off at all – considering the convenient timing of her “vacation.” She sees no one new or strange on her commute to work, sure, but that means nothing. They could suspect nothing – or at least nothing of her – but it is far more likely she’s just not being observant enough.

(Plus, it’s Tokyo. There are always new and strange people. It’s hard to weed out which are dangerous or not.)

She falls into the routine with relief. Staying home one more day might’ve led her to insanity. Not knowing anything about yourself lends itself quickly to boredom, apparently. One day of – possible, unprovable – moping was enough, and now she’s just been itching for something to do, however repetitive.

The easy rhythm she has with Boss provides extra comfort, and she’s able to tune her thoughts out in favor of doing the menial tasks required of her. When she first started working at Leblanc, she used this time to think, but she’s had quite enough thinking in the past few days. It’s nice to just do her job and exchange mild pleasantries with the regulars.

The time passes quickly and comfortably. Akira makes his way downstairs at some point for a bit to eat. He has his hood up, which is quite frankly more suspicious than if he just left it down and ate like a regular person. It is not as if the regulars know he’s the Phantom Thief that died, and regulars are all they get.

As it is, there’s an old couple throwing glances at him. The ones that come in and order a single coffee and curry and stay for hours, and they just arrived, leaving plenty of time for them to wonder about Akira’s sanity. They’re the only customers, but it’s still best if they avoid as much suspicion as possible. She’s about to tell him to just take his food upstairs, she’ll clean it up herself if she has to –

The door chimes, and time freezes.

She sees Boss tense first, then Akira, which means it’s not a regular. They’re suspicious of new people now, and rightfully so. She turns to greet the newcomer – it’d be weird not to, and the other two are frozen – and is welcomed by a familiar face. The tension leaves her body.

Ponytail, turtleneck, slouch. Aragaki Shinjiro takes a seat in front of her. Different turtleneck – this one is black – and no Koromaru this time, unfortunately, but the same projected air of nonchalance and default irritated face. He gives her a barely noticeable smile, not even glancing at the other two – or Morgana, who has conspicuously made his way downstairs. “Black coffee,” he grunts more than says. Pause. He takes a breath and continues softer, with more diction. “I don’t care what blend.”

Time returns to normal. Akira subtly grabs his plate and makes a quick escape upstairs. Morgana starts to retreat with him, but remains in full view on the stairs, probably to keep an eye on Shinjiro. Boss gives him a once over and returns to his work almost reluctantly.

“Hello, Aragaki-san,” she says pleasantly, turning to look at their selection of coffee. She’s not sure what he’d like, and she doesn’t have a personal preference herself; she doesn’t drink coffee. Boss relaxes a fraction of an inch behind her and starts up a curry for the old couple. She picks up a jar of beans and turns back to Shinjiro. “Just a simple Blue Mountain work for you?”

Shinjiro snorts. “Sure. Told ya to call me Shinjiro.”

He’s technically correct, since he’d only given her his first name when they’d run into each other, but that’s his mistake for also giving her his business card before she metaphorically bolted home to check on Haru. She can’t be expected to call him anything but his last name at first. She doesn’t remember him.

 _“Listen, I know the other guys have made sure you can’t contact them,”_ he’d said. _“But I don’t take orders from them. Here’s my card. Call me if you need anything.”_

She’s looked at the card so much in the past few days she has it committed to memory, even though it wasn’t really necessary once she added his number to his contacts and wrote down the new information in her journal. Aragaki Shinjiro, it reads. Head chef. Hamuko wouldn’t have pegged him as a chef based on her original observations, but she can see it in him now.

“Alright, Shinjiro-san,” she concedes, starting to brew his coffee. She can feel three sets of eyes burrowing into her as she sets to work, but she ignores them. “No Koro today?”

“Didn’t think the café would allow dogs,” he says gruffly. Morgana’s ears flatten in the corner of her eye and she shoots him a stern look. She is not dealing with Shinjiro hearing a talking not-cat right now, on the very strong chance that he’s a Persona-user like she is. He’s correct anyway, even ignoring Morgana, but that doesn’t stop her from being disappointed. Koro is the only thing from her past that she remembers with any amount of clarity, and it was nice to be able to touch him and prove to herself that he’s real. 

She goes back to wiping the counter while she waits for Shinjiro’s coffee to brew. He has to be here for a reason. It’s not as if he just randomly decided to go to a café and it just so happened to be the one she works at in the back alleys of Yongen-Jaya. “So, you’re here for a reason?”

Shinjiro doesn’t respond for a moment, accepting the finished coffee she slides in front of him and taking a sip. “Akihiko told me where to find you. We need to talk.”

“Away from prying ears, I assume,” she says when he fails to elaborate. “I get off work at 5.”

He nods an acknowledgement but continues to not elaborate. “This is good,” he remarks, taking another sip. “Figured it would be, though.”

“Thank you,” she says. She’s not sure what he means by that, but she can always ask later. There are more important things to talk about right now. “Do you want to meet anywhere in particular?”

“There’s a shrine Koromaru likes nearby. I can send you the details.” He pulls out his phone and starts scrolling through it, signaling a complete end to the conversation. For the best, really. She has work to do; she can’t spend her whole shift talking to the most interesting bit of her past she’s found so far, no matter how much she might want to.

But she can spend the rest of it thinking about what he said. What did he mean, ‘figured it would be’? Was she especially known for making good coffee before? She doesn’t even _like_ coffee. The Blue Mountain she gave him is the only one she’s found barely tolerable so far, but that doesn’t mean anything.

It’s frustrating how much more other people know about her than she does, that they say things they assume she knows the meaning of, and she’s left to puzzle it together while missing more than half the pieces. She lets herself think on the pieces she has while she works. Thankfully, the old couple doesn’t seem too keen on staying too long today, and they pay and leave quickly.

Akira wanders back downstairs after a while, just as Shinjiro is finishing the last dregs of his coffee. “Hey, Hamuko,” he says casually. “You get off at 5, right?” He throws a glance at Shinjiro. She does her best not to roll her eyes, only mildly succeeding. Morgana must’ve told him about their conversation, that snitch.

This is why she’s a dog person.

Hamuko glances at the clock. 4:23. Shinjiro’s been here for going on an hour, taking his time finishing his coffee. It’s well past when school ends, so she’s surprised she hasn’t seen a single Phantom Thief burst in so far. Though, that might be because Akira texted them to ward them off – unnecessarily, she might add. “Yes, but I’ll be busy. Can whatever you want wait until later? I’ll come back.”

“Of course,” he says, still trying to keep his voice light, and only marginally accomplishing it. “If you’re going out, will you bring Morgana? He’s been getting antsy.”

She gives him what she hopes is a reassuring and not at all annoyed smile, but honestly – she’s an adult. Memory or no, Akira’s still younger than her, and Morgana is a cat. What do either of them think they can do to protect her from Shinjiro? Especially in the real world, where they do not have Personas to rely on. “No, sorry. Shinjiro-san here will be bringing his dog, and you know Mona doesn’t like dogs much.”

Shinjiro interrupts to hand her the money he owes. “I’m leavin’. Text me when you get off.”

“Alright, Shinjiro-san,” she says. She gives a smile for extra measure.

He huffs and walks out. The second he’s out the door, she wheels on Akira, hoping she doesn’t look as exasperated as she feels. He just wants to protect her, she knows, because her lost memories make her more vulnerable. She makes sure it’s just them – and Boss – and tries for a patient tone. “He’d be able to hear Morgana, Akira. He’s a Persona-user.”

Akira frowns. “It’s not Persona-users that can hear Morgana, it’s people that have heard him in the Metaverse.”

“Can you prove that?” Hamuko asks. “Is there evidence that it works that way, or have you just been assuming because you don’t know of any other Persona-users?”

This gives Akira pause. He clearly searches for an answer but gives up and changes his line of thought. “. . . How do you know he’s a Persona-user?”

How does she know that? She hasn’t been directly told, sure, but. . . it makes sense that he would be. “I don’t know – I just do. He’s a Persona-user, he’s the Moon arcana, and I trust him.”

Akira accepts this, which is to be expected. He has a Moon arcana too, she supposes. Not one she’s ever met, but she’s sure he has one – just as she is sure she has a friend for every major arcana. (This doesn’t seem to make any sort of logical sense, but it is something she knows to be true.)

“And I really would bring Morgana if Shinjiro-san weren’t bringing his dog,” she adds more for Morgana’s benefit than for Akira’s. “If he promised to be quiet.”

The not-cat gives her a suspicious look but allows the subject to be dropped, thankfully. She wasn’t in the mood to argue with a cat. (Actually, she’s never in the mood to deal with Morgana, but more because he’s a cat and that’s _weird_ than because of the cat himself. He’s perfectly pleasant, if a bit childish.)

Akira makes his way back upstairs reluctantly to get ready for the Phantom Thieves, and she finishes the rest of her shift in peace. She leaves in a hurry, rolling her eyes when Boss tells her to stay safe as she lets the door close behind her. She needs to run home quickly before meeting up with Shinjiro, so she hurries to catch the first train and makes it home in record time.

First order of business: get changed. She’ll still smell like coffee and curry, but less so if she changes her clothes. She could shower, but she doesn’t want to keep Shinjiro waiting longer than he has to. Hopefully changing her clothes is enough.

She pauses in front of her mirror and carefully pulls her hair into a ponytail, deftly sliding in the bobby pins – XXII – to make it as close as to who was before as possible. When she’s done, she takes a step back, admiring herself.

Crème sweater, patterned orange skirt, leggings, boots. It feels familiar, comfortable, but it’s missing something. It’s always missing something. Everything she does, everything she wears – missing something.

Ugh.

It’ll have to do.

She texts Shinjiro as she leaves Haru’s house, and he sends the exact location in response. One of Haru’s drivers offers to give her a ride, but she declines. She’s been cooped up in the house too much lately, and the crisp winter air feels a bit refreshing.

It’s already getting dimmer out by the time she reaches the shrine Shinjiro described to her, though it didn’t actually take long for her to get there. A consequence of winter that she’s never been a particular fan of.

He’s leaning on the swings, watching Koromaru run and play with the limited number of school children that are left playing at the park this late. Hamuko takes a seat on the swing next to him, observing. He’s wearing a peacoat now, with his hair down and a beanie on. Something familiar twinges in this set up, but she can’t bring the memory to the forefront of her mind.

Shinjiro remains standing, not even glancing at her as she gently rocks the swing back and forth, but he does hold something out to her, wrapped in a piece of orange cloth. She takes it and gently unwraps it.

Headphones, along with an old-looking mp3 player that’s attached to a pink lanyard.

“Fuuka wanted you to have those,” he says. “She made them for you, before.”

She takes the lanyard and sets it around her neck, attaching the headphones to the mp3 and hanging them around her neck as well. It doesn’t make her feel complete, per se, but something in her relaxes. The comfortable weight of the headphones on her neck is soothing – this was one of the things she was missing, definitely.

The cloth they were wrapped in flutters a little in the wind. She holds it up and lets it unravel. It’s a scarf. She assumes it was used to wrap her headphones because it is also hers. She loops it into her skirt and ties it in a knot at the front, since she’s not really cold enough for a scarf right now.

They sit in silence for a while, which Hamuko doesn’t mind in the slightest. It’s comfortable like this, in the quiet. The only interruption is the sound of Koromaru running around with the schoolchildren. This is something she can tell she’s done a million times before – with or without Shinjiro – and she can’t really put it past him to have chosen this deliberately.

“You used to take Koromaru on a walk to the shrine every couple days,” he says, reading her mind. He says it so quietly she’s not sure he said it in the first place, but he’s looking at her when she glances up.

She opens her mouth to ask for more details, to find out anything about who she was before, but she changes her mind. If they don’t want her to know, it’s likely Shinjiro isn’t allowed to tell her. He seems willing to tell if she asked, but she won’t put him in that spot. “There was something you wanted to talk about,” she says instead. “So talk.”

He takes a deep breath and shoves his hands back into his pockets. “Mitsuru asked me to talk to you.”

“About?”

“. . . The Phantom Thieves.”

Oh.

He says it almost reluctantly, as if he won’t press the issue further if she chooses to say no. And it comes to this; if she is asked to betray the Phantom Thieves for whatever reason, who would she choose? People she doesn’t remember but knows, or people she remembers but doesn’t really know?

“The Phantom Thieves?” she asks lightly, keeping an eye on the children around them. There’s only a few, now, but she’d rather they not overhear whatever they end up discussing. She is not choosing a side – not yet, not now – but she never told them she associates with the Phantom Thieves. “The ones on TV?”

He snorts. “We just need to know what’s happening. We’re in a position to protect them now, but we need to know why, or if we should. Things aren’t looking too good for them.”

“What do you want to know?” she asks cautiously, still wary but a little more relaxed. If they’re offering protection – that’s good. Even if the Thieves don’t want it, she wants it for them. They don’t have to know they’re being protected.

“She wants to know how they change hearts,” he says. “We know about the Metaverse, but not how they do it.”

Oh, right. She has an explanation for this, but she doesn’t think she’s a very good source. “I haven’t gone with them. I know there’s – something called a Treasure? And they steal it, and it takes away all the bad parts.”

Shinjiro thinks on this for a moment. “No chance for harm?”

“No,” she shakes her head. “They said that there’s no chance for harm if it’s done correctly.”

“Did they kill Okumura?”

She doesn’t even have to pause for this one, even though she had never worked up the courage to get a clear answer out of them. They wouldn’t have – Haru wouldn’t still be a Phantom Thief if they did. “No.”

“Okay,” he says, not even asking for an explanation. She wouldn’t give him one if he did ask, and she’s sure he knows that. “I’ll go now.”

Had it been any of her other friends – the old ones, the ones she doesn’t remember – would they have left it at that? Would they have trusted her word so implicitly? Maybe so, maybe not. But Shinjiro apparently does. He whistles for Koromaru, already on his way out the shrine.

She wants to call out to him. She wants him to – stay a bit longer or something – but she doesn’t really have a reason, and she told Akira she’d show up tonight. Ah, the folly of promises. She sits on the swing a little longer, though, messing with the mp3 player.

It’s charged – probably Yamagishi’s doing – and she puts the headphones over her ears and presses play on the first song that comes up.

_Dreamless dorm, ticking clock –_

She starts on her way to Leblanc, allowing the music to carry her through the long walk and subway ride. Soon enough she is in front of the door once more, pushing it open without hesitation and taking her place on the nearest barstool. The Thieves are in the middle of a discussion. They stop whatever they were talking about once she has settled in and removed her headphones.

“I didn’t die, as you can see,” she says to Morgana, who stands on the counter next to her.

The cat huffs and sticks his face up. “Well excuse me for being worried.”

“So why am I here?” It’s so tempting to ruffle his fur, but she knows if she did he’d be mad at her for eternity, so she holds off.

The Thieves exchange looks. “We want you to join the Phantom Thieves,” Akira says. “We’re about to tackle a huge Palace and without Akechi. . .”

“I already told you –“ she starts, shaking her head.

“We talked about the Velvet Room, too,” Akira interrupts. “I explained it to them. We need you with us to figure it out, or I’m just doing it on my own.”

Whatever the Phantom Thieves are facing – that isn’t her battle. She’s already had her battle. But the Velvet Room. . . no, no, it’s still not her battle. All she’s needed for is when they get to the Depths – beyond that, this is their fight. She will not interfere. “I can’t.”

“We could really use your help, though,” Ann says. The others chime in their agreement.

They really aren’t going to let this go, are they? She sighs in exasperation. “I’ll consider it. Is that enough for you?”

They begrudgingly accept this as the only answer they’re getting out of her at the moment, and they continue the meeting, concluding pretty soon after. Hamuko tunes them out the entire time with music. Not her battle, not her business.

She gets up with Haru as the meeting concludes and gratefully accepts the offer of a ride home, since they’re going to the same place. Hamuko would move out into her own place, since she has a job now, but it’s not as if she has a legal ID or anything of the sort.

(She has tried to pay rent to Haru, but is always refused, annoyingly.)

They ride in silence. She uses the opportunity to listen to more music, enjoying the familiarity of it. After a while, Haru shakes her and motions for her to take her headphones off.

Her phone is ringing. This time, she knows the ringtone – it’s her old phone again. She untangles it from where it’s clipped on her skirt and flips it open quickly. “Hello?”

Crackling, but no answer.

“Hello,” she tries again. “Theo?”

“Hamu –“ his voice cuts out. “- sorry –“

She shoots Haru an alarmed look. “Theo, what –“

“Made – mistake – sorry –“

The call ends. She flips her phone closed and tries to process it. Theo made a mistake? What does that mean? What mistake?

Why was the signal so terrible?

Haru is looking at her with worry. “Are you okay, Hamuko-chan?”

She shakes her head. “I don’t know.”

It’s hard to explain it to Haru, because she doesn’t understand much of it herself, but she tries her best. By the time they reach home she’s just ready to go to bed. She’ll think on the call tomorrow when she has the mental energy to.

She wishes Haru a goodnight and closes her bedroom door, barely pausing to throw off the extra clothes she doesn’t need and immediately collapsing on her bed. She spares some energy to pull the comforter over her and is asleep the second she’s covered and warm.

* * *

_Red._

_There’s so much red._

_She’s in Mementos, this much is immediately obvious, but it’s much deeper than she’s ever seen in the real world. Cages full of people – Shadows of people? – surround her. In front of her is a towering thing, too bright to discern._

_“They thought they could deceive me,” a voice bellows. Somehow, she knows it belongs to the bright thing in front of her. “Look upon the price of their trickery.”_

_Her eyes are pulled down to the base of the thing, where a huddled form sits on its knees, hands outstretched and chained. Her dream-self steps closer until she can see the shock of blue hair against the red and black background, now dimmed by dirt and grime. His eyes are closed, and his breathing is shallow._

_“Minato,” she breathes._

_“You would’ve been a valuable pawn in this game,” the voice ponders. “Know this, Arisato Hamuko. Without him, you are useless. And you will lose.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i lament about my writing struggles on my [tumblr :)](https://bluevelvet-room.tumblr.com)  
> i commissioned [tolbyccia](https://tolbyccia.tumblr.com/) to draw hamuko from this chapter! find it [here](https://tolbyccia.tumblr.com/post/638427493563498496/a-sweet-future-hamuko-commission-for)


	7. vii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh some of this is straight up just game dialogue. u've been warned

The first thing Hamuko does upon waking is reach for her phone. Base instinct has her typing out a number before she can even think about it – too caught up in a panic to know quite what she’s trying to do – and praying that she’ll get an answer.

_We’re sorry, this phone number has been disconnected._

She pulls the phone away from her ear and looks at the number in confusion. It’s not one she recognizes, and it’s clearly not in her contacts. Who did she call? . . . It doesn’t matter. She switches to the contact tab and presses on the only person she can think of right now.

“Hamuko?” comes Shinjiro’s hoarse voice. He sounds like he just woke up.

“Shinji,” she says in a whisper, tinged with panic.

“Are you okay?” he sounds less tired this time, alert, concerned.

Suddenly she is aware of what time it is – almost 4:30 in the morning – and feels terrible for calling. Why had she called? Something about – about – “Minato. Where’s Minato?” She tries to pretend she’s not about to cry, but she’s sure he can hear it in her voice.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he says quietly. She can hear rustling on the other side. “I told her this would happen. Gimme a sec.”

“I’m sorry for waking you,” she says meekly. She doesn’t ask what he means – she’s sure she’ll get clarification soon, and if she doesn’t, well. . . she _was_ asked not to look into her past. This probably counts.

He huffs a little. “Don’t be an idiot.” More silence. She waits patiently for whatever he was going to do. Somehow, she feels much calmer now – something about the way he speaks has made her mind clearer and her worry less. “I’m going to hang up now,” he says eventually. “Fuuka will be in touch.”

“Alright, Shinjiro-san.”

Sounding almost affectionately annoyed, he huffs again. “Go back t’ calling me Shinji.”

She pulls the phone away from her ear to see that he hung up. For just a moment, everything feels normal. She groans and heaves herself out of bed to get dressed for the day. Her pajamas are comfy, but if she stays in them, she’ll end up lounging around until work, and she has things to do. Like, for instance, updating the journal that has sat untouched for the past couple days.

‘Metaverse’, she writes in clear print at the top of a new page. Centered below that, in smaller print, she adds ‘The Depths of Mementos’. Then comes the problem of describing what she had seen in her dream, when most of what she can recall amounts exactly to what the rest of Mementos looks like – red and black, more red and black, and a dash of red and black.

_Blue hair, out of place amongst its dull surroundings, muddied with dirt –_

She closes her eyes and rubs her temples. This is the one time she could really do without the flashbacks, actually. She doesn’t need those images flashing in her mind at any point. They add absolutely nothing to what she needs to know, only distress.

Maybe the setting isn’t as important as what was said in the dream. It’s not like she can do much based on what the bottom of Mementos looks like. They still won’t be able to reach it.

What did the voice say that seemed so important?

_“Know this, Arisato Hamuko. Without him, you are useless. And you will lose.”_

Without him you are useless.

Why is that sticking in her head?

Without Minato she is useless.

It feels terrifyingly accurate, as if the voice knows something she does not. And, considering how few memories she currently has, it almost certainly does. At this point, everyone knows something she doesn’t – especially terrifying dream entities.

She racks her brain for anything else to write down, but nothing seems important enough. Her memory recovery has come to a frustrating halt recently, though that is to be expected, and she’s discovering she’s very impatient. She wouldn’t even need to be writing in this journal if she just had all her memories from the start.

Why doesn’t she have all her memories?

This is the thought that has been plaguing her from the start. She doesn’t remember what happened before she woke up – that is, she doesn’t remember what happened that created this situation. She woke up alone, confused, in Mementos. What happened to her? The others seem to think it was something terrible, but – if it happened immediately before, why weren’t they there when she woke up?

Nothing seems to add up. She’s forced to consider that there is genuinely something interfering – if there is, it has to have something to do with the Velvet Room. That’s the only explanation she can think of right now, and it doesn’t answer many of her other questions.

None of this leaves anything for her to write in her journal. Frustrating. She wants there to be more to write so badly, because then she’d be one step closer to knowing her own self. That’s the most frustrating part of this endeavor – the list of people that know things about her does not include herself.

Hamuko picks up her phone and checks the time. She’s been staring at her journal for nearly an hour, which is a bit ridiculous. There has to be something better for her to do – she has work in an hour, so maybe she can spend the extra time getting ready for real. She’s already dressed, of course, but that doesn’t mean she can’t shower and get re-dressed. Maybe stop somewhere for breakfast so she doesn’t end up eating curry for the millionth time in a row.

The shower is refreshing, at the very least. She gets re-dressed and packs up to head out, making sure her headphones are draped around her neck and both her evoker and old phone are tucked safely into the waistband of her skirt. It feels wrong to go without them.

Her phone dings just as she’s opening the door to leave.

* * *

_Friday_

_11/25_

_5:42am_

**_Lucia_ ** _: Hello. Are you free? I know it’s early._

**_Arisato Hamuko_ ** _: I’m on my way to get breakfast. I have work at 6:30._

**_Lucia_ ** _: Where are you going for breakfast? We can meet you there._

**_Lucia_ ** _: That is, if you want your answers now._

**_Arisato Hamuko_ ** _: We?_

**_Lucia_ ** _: Mitsuru and me._

* * *

She deliberates for a moment on whether she can wait and decides she can be a little late for work. She gives Yamagishi the directions to the diner in Shibuya she frequents, and then texts Boss to let him know she’ll run a little late and that she’ll work later to make up for it. After receiving the okay from both, she continues heading out.

The diner isn’t very busy, having only been open for an hour or so. Most people are either asleep or don’t have time to stop, so it’s easy to find the red hair she knows to look for – the only thing she can think of to identify Kirijo and Yamagishi – since she doesn’t know what Yamagishi looks like at all.

Kirijo clearly spotted her before she came in, because by the time she sees them Kirijo is calming waving her over. She goes over hesitantly, wanting answers but only now realizing she’s nervous to receive them.

Hamuko slides into the booth across from Kirijo and a teal-haired woman – presumably Yamagishi – and gives what is probably a shaky smile. “Hello, Kirijo-san, Yamagishi-san,” she says, bowing her head a little. It feels improper not to bow. Kirijo is an heiress. “Thank you for meeting with me.”

Yamagishi giggles and pushes a plate towards her – breakfast. They must’ve ordered for her. “You can call us by our first names, Hamuko. You may not remember us, but you’re still our friend.”

She won’t justify that with a response, but her first instinct is to tell them no. She technically doesn’t know them. But – she had conceded for Shinji. “Shinji said you’d tell me about Minato,” she says instead of acknowledging the request. She’ll think about it. She pulls a bowl of rice toward her and starts eating.

Yama – Fuuka glances at Mitsuru, who gives a small nod. “He went on a mission a little over a month ago,” she starts gently. “Sanctioned by the Shadow Operatives, of course, but he wouldn’t actually tell us what he was doing. Just that it was life-and-death, and he would tell us when he got back.”

Life-and-death. And they let him go alone? Figuring that’s a bit rude to start with considering she doesn’t have all the information yet, she settles for a different question. “The Shadow Operatives?”

Mitsuru fields this one. “A band of Persona-users sanctioned by the Kirijo Group. Investigators of Shadow activity.”

“And he never came back from this mission?”

“He said it could take up to a year,” Fuuka says softly. “Until then, we weren’t to look for him. We thought it might worry you, even assuming you remembered him in the first place.”

“But I do remember him. And I am worried.”

“I’m sorry, Hamuko, that’s all we know. He didn’t give us any contact info. He left his phone behind.”

Her mind flashes back to the original memory.

Promise me you won’t try to sacrifice yourself.

Something in her tells her that Minato never intended to keep that promise. She doesn’t know what happened – she doesn’t know what sacrifice was made, but something is going on here. Her anger rises a little at the thought, and she can’t help herself from bursting out a little. “So he could be in danger and you just wouldn’t know?”

“Aigis is with him,” Mitsuru replies smoothly. “But she follows his orders, not ours. He doesn’t want to be looked for until the year is up, so she wouldn’t answer if we tried. If he were in danger, though, she would come back.”

Hamuko has absolutely no idea who Aigis is, so this is almost zero percent reassuring. It’s clear that they can see her frustration though, as Fuuka gives her an apologetic look. “That’s all the information I’m going to get out of you, isn’t it?” she asks them.

Fuuka frowns. “We’re sorry. That’s all the information we have.”

“But there is something we wanted to talk about,” Mitsuru continues. “Shinjiro said you believe in the justice of the Phantom Thieves.”

“I do,” she replies without hesitation.

Mitsuru nods in understanding and does not push for reasoning. “Then they have enemies. They’ll need protection. Do they know you have a Persona?”

“They found me in the Metaverse.”

“So they do. Have they asked you to join them?”

Hamuko pauses at this and considers her answer carefully. She’s not sure where the line of thought is going, but she decides that Mitsuru likely means no harm. “They have.”

“You’ll need to accept.”

“I can’t –“

“The only way to keep them safe is to have someone on the team,” Mitsuru says firmly. “You’re the only one in that position. We’ll need to know when they’re in the Metaverse and where they are in order to have any chance of preventing disaster.”

She hadn’t considered that. Mitsuru, frustratingly, has a point. “I’ll need your contact info if you want me to do that. And I need to get to work.”

Mitsuru hands her a business card and looks at Fuuka, who pulls out a bag and hands it to Hamuko. “It’s a phone,” the teal-haired girl explains. “It’ll work to send us messages in the Metaverse.”

Hamuko tucks it into her purse and bows goodbye. The time on her phone reads 6:43 am – so she needs to head straight for work. No time to stay and ask anymore questions. She does not give Mitsuru or Fuuka time to say goodbye and instead rushes off. Momentarily, she feels bad for lashing out earlier. Momentarily.

She ends up reaching Leblanc just before it hits 7, and she manages to work until 4 without being disturbed by any of the Phantom Thieves – Akira apparently having decided to stay in his room all day.

“I assume you’ll need the shop to be closed,” she says in lieu of greeting as Futaba pushes open the door. Futaba nods and heads upstairs, so Hamuko goes and turns the sign to ‘closed’. It’s not as if they had any customers anyway.

The rest of the Phantom Thieves file in over the course of the hour, with Akira, Futaba, and Morgana making their way downstairs eventually. Everyone keeps glancing at her – she can feel their eyes on her even as she makes them coffee – and she’s mentally bracing herself throughout their meeting for them to finally work up to asking her the Dreaded Question.

“So, Hamuko,” Ann begins with an air of false nonchalance. “Have you thought about joining?”

“We know the keywords,” Akira continues imploringly. “We’ve been inside. We need your help.”

Hamuko takes a calming breath and looks around at the Phantom Thieves. They watch her with earnest hop – they know what is inside this next Palace. They say they need her help. If the Palace is that bad, perhaps she should –

_But it isn’t your story_ , the voice inside her head reminds her.

_“The only way to keep them safe is to have someone on the team_ ,” Kirijo had said. _“You’re the only one in that position.”_

Perhaps it’d be better for her to meddle a bit.

“Okay,” she says at last. “I’ll join the Phantom Thieves.”

Akira grins. “Great! You start right now.”

* * *

Akira genuinely meant _right now_ right now. They stand in front of the Diet Building, which is apparently where the Palace is. Hamuko texts Mitsuru as inconspicuously as possible to let her know the details – the location, and the codewords as she hears them being entered.

There’s a warping sensation, just as there had been when she went into Mementos for the first time, but nothing seems to change. After a moment of confusion, she’s turned around by Akira, who is now wearing his Phantom Thieves outfit.

Oh.

It’s a cruise ship. They’re on the deck, surrounded on all sides by water that reaches the horizon. The only sign of land – or the previous existence of it – is the tops of the Tokyo skyscrapers peeking out as the cruise ship meanders by.

“His distortion is centered on the Diet Building,” Akira had said on their way over. “But it encompasses all of Tokyo.”

In context that sounds pretty reasonable. After all, the Palace itself isn’t that big – not all of Tokyo big – and she hadn’t even noticed the change at first. Looking out upon the never-ending water, though, she can’t believe it’s just ‘all of Tokyo’. All of the world, more like, with the way the water has flooded. It’s like a hellish Noah’s Ark comprised of only the richest and skeeziest.

The Palace may not be big, but the distortion is bigger than she could’ve ever though possible. What sort of twisted mind could have created something this large?

. . . She shouldn’t think too hard about it.

“Are you ready?” Akira asks.

She grips the naginata that had been provided to her and braces herself. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

He nods and motions for everyone to enter. She feels out of place without a costume – she’s just a regular person in regular clothes – but isn’t sure how she’d feel about her Persona suddenly deciding she needs one. She decides to just focus on the task at hand and follow everyone else’s lead.

Sleazeball number 1, 2, 3, and 4 pass without relative incident, unless you count them being disgusting. There’s the occasional need to turn into mice to get through the ship, which does not seem foreign to the rest of the Phantom Thieves, so she decides not to question it. Something, something, cognition, something.

She hangs back with Futaba and tries to take a backburner approach to fighting, only coming in when they really need her help – after all, she’s there to make sure they’re safe, not to fight their battles for them. Even then, she tries to utilize her healing skills more than she utilizes her fighting skills.

The boiler room gives them trouble.

The Cleaner is a powerful enemy, and Hamuko needs to step in more often – mostly healing like before, but occasionally needing to send out a good megidolaon. After what seems like forever, Akira delivers the final blow, and they receive the last envelope they need to make it in and get Shido’s treasure.

“What now?” Hamuko asks.

“Once we see the treasure, we leave and send a calling card,” Futaba informs her. “Then we come back that day and steal it.”

That seems simple enough, even knowing they always get caught and have to fight. According to Akira, at least. Doesn’t seem very thief-like to her, but who is she to judge? She’s only a temporary Thief.

They exit the room the Cleaner was in and are faced with –

Akechi Goro.

He smiles calmly. “Long time no see.” Ignoring Ryuji’s exclamation of surprise, he continues in a level voice. “I’m impressed that you managed to deceive me. It seems I underestimated your abilities. You truly are interesting. . . quiet, yet possessing the courage and determination to take action. Under different circumstances we could have been great rivals. Or perhaps even friends.”

It is hard to read Akira’s emotions as Joker at the best of times, but his voice is softer and his stance less defensive than usual when he responds. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“How wonderful,” Akechi says with a laugh. “You don’t allow yourself to be enslaved by such things as human relations or past selves, and so your heart is always free. The exact opposite of mine. To be honest, I’m envious.” He pauses and muses, quieter. “I wonder why we couldn’t have met a few years earlier, Akira.”

Akira takes a step back, as if genuinely startled. He opens his mouth and closes it, unsure how to respond. Ann speaks up in his stead. “Akechi. . .” she trails off worriedly.

Something in Akechi seems to shift. “But there’s no use talking in hypotheticals. That didn’t happen in reality.”

“Akechi,” Makoto says. “Why are you cooperating with someone like Shido? Don’t you see what this Palace looks like? His true nature is. . .”

“Cooperating. . .?” Akechi asks with a small indignant laugh. “What are you talking about? I don’t care for Shido, or this country. All of this is to make Shido Masayoshi – my father – acknowledge me. Then I will exact my revenge on him.”

His father.

That. . . makes an unfortunate amount of sense.

“Shido is your father?” Yusuke echoes her thoughts.

“Remember I said before,” Akechi continues in his pseudo pleasant voice, “how my mother had been in a relationship with some good for nothing man? So I’m his bastard child. My very existence is nothing but a scandal. My mother’s life turned for the worst after she had me, and she died. I was a cursed child for her too.

“I resented him, but he was already a high-ranking official by then. A kid like me could do nothing. But that’s when it happened,” he breaks off into a chuckled, opening his arms for dramatic effect. “That’s when I learned about the cognitive world! Someone, be it god or demon, gave me a chance! I couldn’t contain my laughter.”

Hamuko watches as the Phantom Thieves react restlessly. This is reminding her of something, but she can’t put her finger on it. So familiar. . .

“Who cares? My targets were all doing the same damn thing in this eat or be eaten world. All I did was remove their evil from society. How is that any different from the Phantom Thieves?”

“We’re not murderers!” Ann calls out.

“So what? Shido Masayoshi is finally within my grasp! Once he reaches the apex of his power and acknowledges me, I’m going to whisper in his ear – I’ll tell him the truth of who I really am! And that’s when I – an utter disgrace to the world – will rule over him. I will prevail!

“In just a few weeks, my plan would have come to fruition. . . but no, you just had to interfere. I can still take it back, though. I’ll just need to kill you.”

With that, Akechi rips off his mask and summons some Shadows. She’s not sure how he does it – how he bends their will to his own like that. He shouldn’t be able to do that.

Even with the added element of facing down a Persona-user, it goes much the same as every other fight has so far, if a bit harder. Hamuko defaults to just healing everyone as much as she can, occasionally taking a moment to restore her strength.

Akechi continues talking throughout the fight, but she’s too focused on trying to keep everyone alive to know exactly what he’s saying – only taking note when his entire outfit changes and he starts going harder at the Thieves. Haru starts taking every opening to distribute medicine, which is good because at the rate Akechi is going Hamuko isn’t sure if she can keep up.

It takes longer than they were originally planning on spending in the Metaverse, but eventually Akechi is on the ground panting. “I’ve had enough, he says raggedly. He looks up and meets Akira’s eyes. “You’re so lucky. Lucky to be surrounded by teammates who acknowledge you. And once Shido confesses his crimes, you’ll all be heroes. As for me, people will find out my past deductions were just charade. My fame and trust will vanish.

Morgana makes a small noise of understanding. “So you were turning people psychotic, then solving the cases yourself. And you did that by joining forces with Shido.”

“In the end, I couldn’t be special,” Akechi says bitterly.

All at once, she’s reminded that this is a child – verging on adulthood, sure, but still just a child. They’re all children. The same age as – as –

“It pains me to admit,” Makoto says, “but your wit and strength far exceeds ours. We only defeated you by teaming up. I was honestly envious of your natural ability. It was frustrating to see how much my sister trusted you. . .”

Haru glances at the others before speaking up. “I have no intention of forgiving you for what you did to my father, but I sympathize with you. I wholeheartedly understand wanting to get back at the adults who took from you.”

The rest of the Phantom Thieves agree with Haru’s sentiment, which is understandable. From what she knows, they founded it based on getting back at crooked adults in the first place. The Thieves and Akechi are more similar than either ever thought, she supposes.

“We’re gonna take Shido down,” Ryuji says. “What’re you gonna do?”

Akechi laughs in disbelief. “Are you all idiots? You should get rid of me if you don’t want me getting in your way. You are all truly beyond my comprehension.”

From the shadows steps a man in a light brown suit –

_Bound hands, the whistle of wind, and a voice proclaiming that the end of the world is near –_

“Did you truly believe you’d be spared after all the murders you undertook?” Cognitive Akechi asks in a flat tone.

_“Kill them,” says the man in the brown suit._

“Here, I’ll give you one last chance,” Cognitive Akechi says. “Shoot them.”

_Two shots, both ringing true –_

_Mitsuru sits on her knees, cradling the body of what Hamuko knows to be her father. The brown-suited man takes two steps, three steps, four steps backwards, pressing his hand to the bleeding wound in his chest. “You’ll see,” he says in promise. “You’ll see.”_

_He steps off the rooftop._

Akechi stands shakily and aims his gun directly at Akira.

_A child sits huddled over a still body much larger than him, bathed in a familiar green glow. The child is sobbing, covered in blood – whether it is his or the figure’s, she doesn’t know. Movement in the corner of her eye draws her attention to the man standing nearby, gun still raised and metaphorically smoking. The man grins – crazy, wild-eyed – and takes his leave, knowing she will not be able to give chase._

_She takes a hesitant step forward, bringing the body’s face into full view._

_Shinji._

_He takes a shuddering breath but does not awaken._

Cognitive Akechi grins. “Yes, that’s the you our captain wishes to see.”

_She is standing in front of an impossible structure, twisting and turning and jutting up into the sky much farther than should be possible. At the top of a set of steps stands a girl and a boy hugging. The wild-eyed man steps out of the shadows, giving that same familiar crazed grin._

_The same gun raises up and shoots._

_Her eyes follow the bullet –_

“You misunderstand,” Akechi says, and in that instant she knows what he intends to do.

_A man stumbling backwards, a child crying, a baseball cap soaked in blood –_

“Akechi, no,” she says involuntarily. Quietly, too quietly – he does not hear her. No one hears her. No one sees what he is about to do.

Time seems to slow. Akechi turns his gun to Cognitive Akechi and shoots twice.

“No,” she shouts. She’s not sure when her Evoker goes up to her head, but Orpheus-Telos is reacting just as Akechi turns in the other direction, shooting a control panel she’s sure she noticed on their way to defeat the Cleaner.

A hand grabs her and pulls her back, farther away from the double Akechis, jerking her head away in the process. She yanks it out of the grasp – noting the red gloves – and turns back toward the scene. She misses the split second between the announcement and the wall coming down, but by the time she recovers she is staring at Akechi’s startled face as he leans against the wall he brought down.

“You saved me,” he says in disbelief.

She glances nervously at the others, but they don’t seem angry with her. Akira actually looks relieved. “I’ve watched too many people die.”

Akira gives her a gentle smile and turns his attention back to Akechi. “Come on, Akechi. Let’s go figure out the rest of your life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry to akechi-haters for saving him but also i'd do it again lmao  
> i have a persona [tumblr](https://bluevelvet-room.tumblr.com/) where i post updates on my progress about the fic! feel free to go talk to me there <3


	8. viii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT PLEASE READ: if you are a returning reader, please re-read the entire work and come back to this chapter! i edited it heavily and it will require a re-read <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT PLEASE READ: if you are a returning reader, please re-read the entire work and come back to this chapter! i edited it heavily and it will require a re-read <3

Hamuko sits in a booth at Big Bang Burger, eyeing the boy across from her whose life she had just saved. The second they left the Palace, he had reverted to his pleasant façade and has not yet given it up, but then – they are in public. Nonetheless, there is something sharp to the way he’s looking at Akira, like he’s just bursting for the opportunity to go on a half-crazed rant about how stupid they all are for saving him.

Well, how stupid _she_ is for saving him.

His glances at her are anything but subtle, for understandable reasons. She just appeared out of nowhere one day. He’s been a part of the Phantom Thieves story from nearly the beginning, as far as she understands, even with not joining until after she was found in the Metaverse. She’s an anomaly in the story he planned out – a butterfly flapping its wings over the sea.

“You can’t come with us to change his heart,” Akira is saying. “We can’t prove that cognition won’t be out to get you.”

She feels the other, heavily implied meaning in Akira’s tone – Akechi cannot come with because of the chance that he will kill Shido, rather than let them steal the treasure. They are dancing around this topic with impressive skill. There is some concern on her part that if they bring it up, he will drop the pleasant act entirely. Akira seems to feel the same.

Then again, they’re in public. If that isn’t a saving grace on its own, the chance of Akechi being noticed and therefore quickly found by Shido’s minions – conversing with the Phantom Thief that should be dead at this current moment – is. Still, she’d rather they dance around the issue as much as possible.

Akechi leans back in the booth with some amount of barely perceived attitude, seemingly ignoring the unvoiced implications. “Would it not be prudent to have an extra member, given the difficulty of the Palace so far?” he says with a measured tone. “I know you were having some trouble towards the end.”

Their trouble was Akechi himself, but no one brings that up. In fact, she’s only half sure that the rest of the Phantom Thieves – sans Futaba and Haru, who would rather not be anywhere near Akechi – are even listening. They all seem to be plenty distracted joking around and eating fast food. It seems as if they have collectively decided to leave the serious talk to the only person Akechi might hypothetically listen to. Though, it may be that the only Phantom Thief allowed to speak in public about their Phantom Thief business is Akira. That seems like a rule that would exist, considering Ryuji and Ann.

Akira, for his part, is doing an amazing job at not outwardly showing his frustration with Pleasant Akechi. “We have Hamuko for that. You can’t come.”

Akechi opens his mouth to dispute this – probably to state that she was there for the part they were having trouble with, so obviously she can’t be of that much help – but she shushes him. “There’s no way to make this sound like a good idea to us.”

There’s a disgruntled sound, but he does not argue the point. “So what do you intend to do with me? There’s no way you’ll let me out of your eyesight now.”

Hamuko’s phone buzzes – a phone call. “Excuse me. Akechi, will you join me outside?”

The chatter from the rest of the Phantom Thieves dies down, and everyone exchanges dubious looks. Akira gives her a calculating look, then motions his head for Akechi to go. Akechi, for his part, does not seem too happy about this new turn of events, but gets up and follows her anyway.

(He doesn’t much like her, after all. She’s an enigma, the one mystery he’ll never be able to solve.)

She leans against the outside wall of Big Bang Burger, signals for Akechi to wait a moment, and answers her phone. “Hamuko speaking.”

“I just read your message,” Kirijo’s voice sounds from the phone. “We can put him in protective custody, but only if he cooperates. I won’t risk anyone’s life for this.”

Hamuko shoots a look at Akechi, who is standing there impatiently with his arms crossed. “Well, he might give you some trouble, but if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll cooperate.” His gaze narrows and she can tell he’s very close to no longer caring they’re in public.

Kirijo hums for a second. “I’ll send someone over if you’re ready now.”

“Let me talk to him first. I’ll let you know,” Hamuko says and hangs up. She puts her phone in her bag and turns to face Akechi. “You asked what we’re going to do with you.”

He looks at her suspiciously. “I presume Kurusu and the others don’t know about this.”

“They know – “ she pauses and shifts her claim. “They are aware I know these people.”

“And these people are?”

“Adult Persona-users,” she says. “The Shadow Operatives.”

He goes wide-eyed for a split second and lets out a short laugh. “You know the Kirijo Group. What a surprise.”

She can’t decide whether she should be surprised that he knows about the Shadow Operatives. On one hand, they feel like something that would be a secret. On the other. . . well, Akechi worked in the Metaverse for a reason. It makes sense that Shido might be invested in other versions of the same phenomenon. “You know about the Shadow Operatives?”

“They’re a government-sanctioned organization,” Akechi says. “Dedicated to Shadow activity. They piss Shido off to no end.”

“So you’ll go with them.”

He frowns a little. “I didn’t say that. . . Unfortunately, it seems to be my only option.”

Akira comes out of the doors behind Akechi. He looks a little worried, which is understandable. He must have had a set period of time in mind for their talk. It is not as if Akechi is the most sane and safe person to be around. “You guys okay out here?”

Hamuko smiles at him. “We’re good. We can go inside now, if Akechi accepts my offer.”

Akechi looks between the two of them, gives a profoundly irritated sigh, and nods. “Alright. I am still holding you to your promise, however.”

She follows them back into the restaurant, where the rest of the Thieves are waiting patiently. Well – she says patiently. She has the feeling that they have not been waiting all that patiently. They all seem hesitant to let her make her own decisions about her safety, which she guesses is understandable. Having no memories makes her more vulnerable.

But also, she’s older and more powerful than them, so it’s rather annoying.

The three of them slide back into the booth and she pulls her new phone back out to give Mitsuru the okay. There’s a tense silence – they are waiting for an explanation. She shoots a look at Akechi and starts explaining. “You remember Shinjiro?” she asks Akira and Morgana. At their nods she continues. “He knows some people. They’re coming to get Akechi.”

This is technically not a lie, but it’s clearly not the full truth either. Now, whether she will be allowed to tell this vague mistruth is up to Akechi. He knows exactly who she is talking about and who is going to be protecting him. There’s a strong chance he knows there is more hidden behind her misdirection, too.

Akira turns to Akechi. “And you agreed?”

Akechi gives Hamuko a calculating look before giving his answer. “The Kirijo Group is outside of the realm of Shido’s influence.”

The Phantom Thieves take this at face value and do not question it further, thankfully. They trust her. Perhaps they wouldn’t, if they knew about the Shadow Operatives, but that is a sacrifice she is willing to make. Anything to make sure everyone remains safe.

Conversation turns back to mundane things as they wait for whoever Mitsuru is sending to collect Akechi. Hamuko tunes them out and eats her food. She can feel Akechi’s eyes on her. She pretends she cannot. He knows nothing about her, she knows. It frustrates him.

Movement near the entrance catches her attention. Sanada Akihiko walks in, followed by a man in a baseball cap that seems familiar. Sanada is, thankfully, wearing civilian clothes instead of his police uniform. The uniform would’ve drawn attention, which is the last thing they want right now.

They pause in the entryway for a second, eyes searching, until they finally land on Hamuko and make their way over. “Mitsuru sent us,” Sanada says as he approaches. “This him?”

“Akechi,” she says. “This is Sanada Akihiko. And. . .” she sends a puzzled glance to the other man, who sticks out his hand for her to shake.

“Iori Junpei,” the man says, grinning. “But you probably remember that.”

_Magician. Rank 10. MAX._

_A woman hunched over a body, blood soaking her white dress –_

She flinches away from his hand involuntarily, and his face drops. “I’m sorry,” she says. “It was just – never mind. You said Iori?”

He nods a little, but his full grin does not come back. “They weren’t kiddin’ when they said you don’t remember anything, huh? Guess this is what it felt like for you back when –“

“Iori,” Sanada cuts him off. “We’re just here to pick up Akechi and go. The longer we stand here, the more likely he’ll be spotted. I’m amazed you all have managed to be here for so long in the first place.”

The Phantom Thieves say nothing. That leaves it up to her, though she supposes these are her people. It makes sense that they’d leave it up to her. “It was sort of necessary,” she explains. “Thank you for this, Sanada-san, Iori-san.”

“Aw, man,” says Iori. “You’ll call Mitsuru by her name but not us? That’s low, dude.”

“Iori,” Sanada says again, firmer this time. “She can call us what she likes.”

Hamuko hesitates for a second. She can see the sad looks in their eyes, even though they’re both trying to hide it. She wonders briefly what Iori was going to say about before, but she knows she can’t have the answer. Not now, at least. “Thank you,” she says softer. “Akihiko, Junpei.”

Iori brightens a little at this. Akechi gets up with little to no commotion and gestures for them to lead the way. He’s clearly frustrated with the turn of events, but – perhaps it is better that he is frustrated and cooperative than frustrated and murderous. There must be some twinge of regret left in him.

. . . He had said he wishes he met Akira earlier.

Perhaps this is repentance.

“I’m going to head home,” she tells the Phantom Thieves soon after Akechi disappears out the door. “It’s a big day tomorrow, right?”

* * *

She isn’t on the calling card, nor is she associated with the Phantom Thieves in any official sense. She’s not sure even Akechi ever found out what her relationship to them was. They agree to meet on their way to the Diet Building, instead of Hamuko putting herself in danger by waiting with them for Futaba to finish hacking.

She catches up with them in Central Square. The big screens – usually reserved for advertisements and, moments earlier, for the calling card – are playing an announcement from Shido himself. She squeezes between the crowd and stands casually next to Akira, who gives her a sideways smile from underneath his hood.

“Think it worked?” he asks her, nodding up to the screen.

“Oh, I’m sure he knows we’re coming now,” she says. “Is that all that we need?”

“Yup.” He turns on his heel and starts walking away. The Phantom Thieves trail behind him. Hamuko sends one more look up at the screen and follows them. She makes sure they’re all in front of her before opening her (newer) new phone and sending Mitsuru an update on the situation.

Hopefully, this goes without a hitch and she won’t need to call them in.

The Diet Building isn’t all too far from Central Square, and they get there rather quickly. There are people crowding outside of the building, and they waste no time in entering the Palace. Any longer lingering outside is another chance for Akira to be recognized and caught.

She still gets caught off guard by her surroundings, but she follows the Phantom Thieves obediently as they make their way to the room that has the Treasure in it. “Any chance this won’t turn into a fight?” she asks.

Makoto winces. “I don’t think there’s any chance of us doing this one stealthily.”

She takes a deep breath and follows their lead into the elevator. This is fine. She’s more powerful than them – worst comes to worst, she’ll interfere more directly than she has been. She’d rather not, but then she also would rather none of them die in the process of doing this.

Shido is standing calmly at the center of the room, waiting for them. Hamuko tries not to pay attention to what he’s saying – listening to Akechi last time threw her headfirst into memories that almost incapacitated her – but it’s hard not to when he’s the center of attention. “Sacrifices are inevitable in the path of reform,” he says.

Her head feels like it’s about to burst open.

_A man in a tan suit stands at the top of a set of stairs. Behind him, rising to impossible heights, stands an even more impossible structure, twisting and turning and jutting out in awkward ways. A woman stands next to him, blank-faced and out of place – there is something off about her._

_“If you follow me for just a little while longer, you, too, will find salvation,” he says with an unsettling smile._

She forces her eyes shut and back open. Shido is still talking, but it’s clear some time has passed. This is not the time to be remembering things. She needs to be focused right now. She needs to be able to intervene if necessary.

Shido smirks. “The ignorant masses only care about their personal happiness. I am merely granting that for them.”

_Her hands are bound on a cross, looking out upon a rooftop. She can hear her friends waking up around her but cannot look to see them. “Death as deliverance,” says a man held by the strange-looking woman. “That is not an ideology anyone should ever embrace.”_

_“Fool,” says the tan-suited man. “You are but a nuisance now. Aigis!”_

_The strange-looking woman’s hands click. Mitsuru’s voice calls out from beside her. “Wait! Please, Aigis, no!”_

_Aigis winces and lets go. Her movement is unsteady, like she is forcing it to happen against her own body’s will. “I. . .”_

_The tan-suited man pulls out his own gun and aims it. “I’ll do it myself, then.”_

“Savior!” orders Akira. “Let’s go!”

Hamuko shakes the memory out and immediately falls into position. Hopefully no more memories com. She can’t afford to be a distraction right now, of all times. The Phantom Thieves are climbing a structure that seems to be rapidly closing. She immediately starts following, hoping that somehow the Metaverse logic applies to her, too. She’s not sure how long it’s been since she has needed to be this physically fit.

Shido is at the top, sitting atop a golden lion, now wearing a ruler’s uniform. Time to fight, then. This will be her first “Boss” of sorts, but she can see what they meant when they said it will be difficult. She pulls her evoker from where it is tucked in her skirt and prepares herself.

“Physical attacks won’t work!” Futaba calls. “Use magic!”

She falls back to where Futaba is and lets the battle happen.

Her head is pounding again.

_“Ten years. . . I’ve wasted ten long years!” says Ikutsuki in disdain. “I am not like your father. I won’t make any exceptions!” He levels the gun at Kirijo. Two gunshots sound out, both ringing true._

_“Father?” Mitsuru says quietly. “Father!”_

_He does not reply._

_“Aigis,” says Ikutsuki while holding his own wound. “We’ll end this now. Execute the sacrifices.”_

“Savior! We need healing!” calls Futaba from beside her.

“Messiah!” Hamuko shouts, bringing her Evoker to her head. “Salvation!”

She makes sure everyone is up and moving before turning back to her thoughts. Ikutsuki Shuji is dead now, she knows. Why is she remembering him now? Out of all the memories to have right at this moment, this one seems to be the least relevant. She files it away to deal with later and turns her entire focus to the matter at hand.

It turns out to be a long fight. Thankfully, her little bout of being rendered useless by headaches and memories seems to be over for now. She remains in the back and heals when she needs to, making sure to also restore her magic with items so she can continue healing when necessary.

Eventually, after many, many, heals and attacks, Shido’s Shadow falls. “So you’re the one unifying them,” he says. There is a hidden meaning in the words that she cannot seem to glean. The Phantom Thieves say their final words – though Hamuko has no idea what most of it means – and then, apparently, it is time to run.

The ship is exploding, which is not something she expected. They told her that the Palace would collapse, but this. . .

She watches as Ryuji runs and lowers a boat for them to escape in, and as he disappears in an explosion. This is the opposite of what was meant to happen. Her coming was meant to keep everyone safe –

They end up outside the Diet Building, sans a member. Everyone looks around for Ryuji, but he doesn’t seem to be there. The Phantom Thieves start mourning. She can’t help but feel at fault, though she knows there was nothing she could’ve done.

“Man, that was close,” Ryuji’s says as he walks up.

Hamuko tunes out Ryuji being scolded. They did it. Everyone made it out, everyone is alive, and Shido’s heart is, hopefully, changed. For now, that is enough. They part ways, for now. Lay low until the change of heart takes effect.

She walks with Akira to the train station. “About all that, back there. . .” she starts.

“I’m on probation,” he explains. “For preventing him from assaulting a woman. He pressed charges.”

“Oh.”

He gives her a look. “Are you okay? You kept freezing up before the battle.”

“Just memories,” she says with certainty. “I can’t promise it won’t happen again, but –“

“That was our last change of heart for a while, anyway. We need to get to the Depths of Mementos, right? We promised you. There’s nothing big like that in Mementos.”

She winces. “About that. . .” she tells him about her dream. They have a right to know about at least that if they’re really going to be going to the Depths. They walk in silence for a while as Akira processes what she said.

“It doesn’t matter,” he says eventually. “You said it yourself. This isn’t your story. If you end up not being able to help. . . that’s fine. I’d rather you get your memories back, even at the cost of having you for backup.”

“Thank you, Akira.”

“And we’ll rescue your brother, if that’s where he is,” he promises. Morgana, who had remained silent for most of their conversation, chimes in an agreement, and they part ways on that note.

* * *

Shido confesses a week later, right after being elected the country’s leader. Nothing changes. The “scandal” of him being a murderer seems to not matter to the public anymore. In fact, there’s no talk of the scandal at all. Why has nothing changed? Something has gone horribly, horribly wrong.

What happened?

“My request for a case was denied,” Niijima Sae tells them on the 23rd. “There is nothing more I can do.”

“So what do we do,” says Ann, “change the hearts of all Shido’s followers?”

Morgana perks up at that. “Maybe not his followers, but Mementos. . . it’s the source of the public’s desires. If we could change the cognition in Mementos –“

“We need to get to the Depths anyways,” Akira nods. “If Mona thinks there’s a Treasure, it makes sense that the Depths would be where it is.”

“Do you think that would work?” Makoto asks.

“No point in not trying,” Akira answers.

“You need to realize something, though,” Morgana says. “Mementos is the source of the public’s desires. If we steal the Treasure. . .”

_“If we kill all twelve full moon Shadows, the Dark Hour should disappear.”_

“You’ll lose the Metaverse,” Hamuko realizes. “Palaces, Mementos. . .”

The Phantom Thieves mull over this for a bit. She decides not to interfere – her story might’ve included getting rid of the Dark Hour (which is probably the name for the strange midnight phenomenon), but their story requires the Metaverse to continue. This is their decision to make.

Ann breaks the silence. “I think it’s worth it. We’re reforming society, right?”

“We have to,” Akira agrees. “There’s no other way.”

They reach a consensus and explain the plan to Boss and Niijima, planning to reconvene tomorrow and finally reach the Depths. She is reminded of – god, her head hurts. She accepts Haru’s offer of a ride home and crashes the second they get there.

Something niggles at the back of her head.

_“If we kill all twelve full moon Shadows, the Dark Hour should disappear.”_

She shoots up and looks out the window. The moon is not full yet, but – she fumbles for her phone and clumsily types in her search. ‘When is the next full moon?’

December 24th.

There is something ominous about this knowledge. The full moon does not mean good things to her, and it doesn’t bode well for their mission tomorrow. The Depths of Mementos. . . it’s going to be a long ride; she can feel it.

Pulling out the phone Mitsuru gave her, she shoots off a text.

24th. Full moon. Depths of Mementos. Shibuya.

Hopefully that’s enough, because she’s not sure how else to explain it.

* * *

She gets as much rest as she can and rallies herself up to meet in Shibuya the next day. The Phantom Thieves are all there waiting for her. Tensions are running high. This is going to be the last day they all have the Metaverse. She can understand how that might be upsetting.

The dead-end at the end of Mementos opens up into a large cavern. Veins, cages – leading down, down, down, into the very Depths. The Velvet Room door stands ominously at the top of the way down. Akira makes a move to go in. Hamuko pulls him back. Whatever Personas he has is good enough. She does not want him going in there.

There’s a lot of climbing and navigating around to get to the bottom. She tries to keep up as best as she can, but she’s not a Phantom Thief. She doesn’t have the same agility. They pass more cells, with the public chained up. They whisper unsettling things. Hamuko tries to block it out.

They have to fight guardian Shadows after every cell they pass. Occasionally, the Thieves get distracted by the people in the cells, but she refuses to look at them. She doesn’t want to think about the state of the world that got them here. She just needs to reach the bottom.

There are puzzles, but Joker solves most of them quickly. They are stalled by Shadows and cells and puzzles, but eventually, they are standing in the exact place from her dream.

_Her eyes are pulled down to the base of the thing, where a huddled form sits on its knees, hands outstretched and chained. Her dream-self steps closer until she can see the shock of blue hair against the red and black background, now dimmed by dirt and grime. His eyes are closed, and his breathing is shallow._

“Minato,” she breathes.

The Phantom Thieves do not notice her speaking, too caught up in the thing in front of them. “This must be the Treasure,” Morgana is saying. “If we get rid of it, the public should come to its senses.”

“So we gotta destroy it?” Ryuji asks.

A commotion starts. The Treasure is sounding an alarm. “Hold on,” Makoto says thoughtfully. “If the public is being held hostage. . . who is keeping them here?”

A voice chuckles. It’s the voice she heard in her dream. She ignores it. Akira finally takes note of Minato’s hunched body and nods for her to run to it while they destroy the Treasure. She takes her window immediately – she hates the cross position he’s been placed in.

Now that she’s closer, Hamuko can see another body behind him. Blonde, with an unnatural air to it. . . “Aigis.” Neither stirs. “Minato,” she says, shaking him. “Minato, please wake up.”

He stirs a little but does not show any other sign of life. Thank god he’s breathing, at least. She changes her course of action and sets to work on the chains. Akira taught her how to pick locks, but she’s not very good at it. It’s going to take her a while.

Behind her, the battle rages on.

She takes a hairpin out of her hair and sets to work. She really is not very good at this. A light momentarily blinds her but goes away after a second. The voice starts talking. She ignores it – she does not want to hear what it has to say. She’s already heard enough from the voice. She especially does not want to draw attention to herself, considering what she’s doing.

Is the Treasure getting brighter?

. . . Whatever. She gets one of the chains undone. Minato’s left half, now freed, slumps into her. She moves to better support him and continues on the next one, this time moving a bit quicker than before. She needs to get him to safety. Him and Aigis, but Aigis is already freed.

She spares a glance to the body behind Minato. Aigis does not stir.

 _She’s a robot_ , an inner voice reassures her. She doesn’t remember finding that out, but she trusts it. That makes Minato her priority. The other chain unlocks, and Minato slumps fully into her. “Minato,” she says. “I need you to wake up now.”

“Indolent, foolish humans,” booms the voice. “You shall offer your hearts to me.”

A light blinds her, and then there is nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was a doozy to write, but i wanted to make sure i put out a good chapter for you all after months of waiting - though i may come back and edit this. on the bright side, i've already nearly finished the final two chapters! next chapter will be out january 31st, 9pm est. in the meantime, feel free to check out my [tumblr](https://bluevelvet-room.tumblr.com) or the commission i had tolbyccia do of [chapter 6 hamuko!](https://tolbyccia.tumblr.com/post/638427493563498496/a-sweet-future-hamuko-commission-for)


	9. ix

She is floating on her back gently, a moment of silence at sea just before a wave comes crashing in. She is falling, or sinking, a feather on the wind or a piece of gently drifting wood. It’s peaceful. She could stay here forever, drifting, gently rocked by non-existent waves, sleeping but not sleeping at the same time.

“Hamuko,” says a voice from nearby. “You need to open your eyes.”

She knows that voice.

Her eyes snap open to meet crystal blue ones. Blue eyes, yellow scarf, the unsettling feeling of a being that should not be. He smiles when he sees her eyes are open and leans back a little from where he is standing over her.

_Fortune. Rank 10. MAX._

Unlike the last times, she knows who this is immediately.

“Ryoji,” she says softly, afraid of disturbing the peaceful silence. “Where are we?”

He offers her his hand and helps her stand up. Her feet stand steady, but it still feels like she’s floating. She takes a moment to gather her bearings and convince her brain that they’re on solid ground, or at least some approximation of it. “We aren’t anywhere,” he says when she’s finished. “Or we might be everywhere. I guess it doesn’t matter either way, huh?”

She takes this as the correct answer, though it wasn’t really an answer at all. Ryoji would know better than her, anyway. “And why are we here?”

He ponders this for a moment, motioning for her to walk with him. She does, noting that – at least for the time being – she is back in her Gekkoukan uniform. She can’t quite get a grasp on her surroundings, although she knows she isn’t meant to. It feels as if they might be walking through Iwatodai, buildings morphing in her peripheral as they walk, but it also feels as if the entire space is empty. Wherever they are, it clearly is not meant to be perceivable.

“I belong here,” he says eventually. “You’re just. . . passing through, I guess. You’ll wake up eventually.”

They walk in silence for a while. To where, she’s not sure, but she can feel that there is a destination. The glimpses of Iwatodai in the corners of her eyes are familiar. They have to be heading somewhere in particular.

“I’ve been watching, you know,” Ryoji continues eventually. “Since you went down there, and before that too. Humanity is so interesting. . .”

This stops Hamuko in her tracks. He’s been watching, huh? He might have some explanations for her. “Do you know why I lost my memories?”

He hums and motions for her to keep walking. “Divine intervention, the stress of being thrown back into your body after several years, something about the Seal? Hard to say. Yaldabaoth didn’t want you to gain them back, though. It’s been pretty hard to communicate.”

“Communicate?”

“You’re memories. On your own. . . the process would’ve been much slower.”

“That was you?”

“You recognized the Velvet Room on your own; I just had to pry. We’re connected, Hamuko. That will never be un-done.”

Her headache is back. Should she even be able to feel headaches in this place? Weren’t the headaches connected to her memories? Why would she be feeling them now? “Do you know how I was freed?”

“I’m not sure,” he says. “But I think. . . Minato must have completed the circle. Only one of you sacrificed yourself, but all three of us are connected.”

Minato completed the circle?

. . . He had set out to do something, she remembers Mitsuru telling her. Without explaining to the others exactly what he was going to do, and without leaving a way for him to be contacted. ‘Completing the circle’ – she had sacrificed herself, before. Despite his promise to her, is that what he intended to do? Replace her sacrifice with his own?

It would make sense.

But then. . .

“Why did that work?” she asks out loud, unintentionally.

“I’m not sure,” Ryoji answers. “He shouldn’t have been able to.”

“But he did.”

“Yes. And now you are human again.”

Briefly, she worries that Minato successfully took her place, and that’s how she was returned to her body. His continued presence in the world - for now - isn’t really enough evidence for her to believe otherwise. She stayed for a month before she became the Seal. She supposes she just has to believe that completing the circle did not come at the cost of his life until she can prove it.

They continue on for a while, with a building eventually coming into view over the horizon. It’s notably the only building she has been able to look at for longer than a second so far. As they draw closer, it turns into the Iwatodai dorm. That makes this their destination, then, though she’s not sure how or why the Iwatodai dorm would show up here, of all places. Ryoji stops on the front step and gestures to the door. “We’re here.”

“The dorm,” she says. “Why here?”

“It’s the source of the strength of your bonds,” he says. “It allowed you to create the Seal, and it should hold your memories as well.”

She finds that she does not want to go in, if only because she knows that her time with Ryoji will end. A selfish desire, really, but Ryoji is a part of her. She’ll miss him. Would it be so bad, to stay in nothingness forever? It’s what she chose when she sacrificed herself. “After that?”

“You’ll be returned to the world. This is where we part ways.” From seemingly nowhere - not that that is particularly hard to do wherever they are - he produces a piece of red cloth and hands it to her. She holds it up for inspection. It’s small, sewn in a loop, with black stripes running around both the top and bottom.

“Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad,” she reads aloud. “S.E.E.S.”

“The final piece,” Ryoji says softly. “The last thing you were missing. Your friends.”

Hamuko stares down at the armband for a moment before looking back up at her friend. This is her decision. She’s sure he wouldn’t fault her if she decided to stay, but she knows he would be disappointed. “Goodbye, Ryoji.”

He gives a lopsided reassuring grin. “You won’t be rid of me forever. Goodbye, Hamuko.”

She takes a deep breath and one last lingering look at him before entering the dorm, letting the door fall closed behind her. It looks. . . just as it should, she supposes. It feels like she just got home from school, uniform and all. She takes a few steps forward, towards the living room, the way she would if she were just getting home. The room glitches, changes -

* * *

_Hamuko stands in the living room. They’ve just decided to let Ryoji live and, in turn, decided to face their apparently inevitable death head-on. Ryoji looks out at the rest of S.E.E.S. and sighs. “I’ll tell you where to find Nyx.”_

_At this, she perks up and exchanges glances with her brother. Ryoji accepting their decision and telling them where Nyx is means that he thinks there might be a chance of defeating her. If they can do that, then the Fall can be reverted. Even if there is no chance of genuinely defeating her, they have to at least try, right._

_“She’s at the top of Tartarus,” he continues. “You have to reach the top before the Promised day.”_

_Yukari frowns. “And when is the promised day?”_

_“January 31st. 2010.” Ryoji does not seem happy to deliver the news, but then she doesn’t suppose he would be. He wasn’t happy to deliver the news of Nyx in the first place. There is something almost human in his regrets, the same way there is something almost human in the way Aigis speaks. Hamuko wishes this wasn’t how it ended up._

_If they hadn’t killed the full moon Shadows, this wouldn’t be happening. But, then, Ryoji wouldn’t exist. She guesses if they had never met Ryoji, she wouldn’t miss him, but it still feels as if something in her life would be empty without him, not to mention how much he had brought Minato out of his shell._

_(Though, that might be because of their intrinsic connection, if they take Aigis’s account of things into consideration.)_

_“When Nyx descends to Tartarus,” Ryoji continues, “the world will end. If you go to the top of Tartarus on that day, you’ll be able to face her. As the Appriser, I usher Nyx into this world. . . and Tartarus welcomes her arrival.”_

_“So if we reach the top, we can fight Nyx?” Akihiko asks. “That’s what we have to do, then.”_

* * *

She comes to standing in the same place she had been in the memory, tightly clutching the S.E.E.S. armband. She folds it up neatly and tucks it into her skirt so that she won’t lose it. If that’s how the memories work, then she’ll need to explore the rest of the dorm. She sees a flicker of something moving in the kitchen, a peacoat and beanie that is gone the second she looks directly at it. The kitchen next, then.

* * *

_“Aw, Koro-chan, are you hungry?” she asks the puppy as he sits patiently in the kitchen. “Aragaki-senpai’s starving you, huh?”_

_There’s a huff from the stove, where Shinjiro is busy stirring up some meat for Koromaru. “Told ya to call me Shinjiro. The dog isn’t starvin’.”_

_She stifles a giggle. She’s never quite known how to act around her senpai - the others seem unsure how to deal with her peppy nature - but it’s comfortable with Shinjiro. “I know. I’m just waiting for Koro to eat so I can take him for a walk. Thank you for feeding him, Shinjiro-senpai.”_

_He rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment. To be fair, he didn’t want any of them to find out he likes cooking in the first place. She can understand the shyness. “It’s done now, but it’s still hot. Take him for the walk and I’ll give it to him when you get back.”_

_“You hear that, Koro-chan?” she says in response. “He said let’s go for a walk. Do you want to go for a walk?”_

_Koromaru lets out a small bark and happily walks to the door, Hamuko following close behind and stopping to put a leash on him. He doesn’t need it, really, but she prefers the safety of having it on. “Put a damn coat on,” Shinjiro’s voice calls from the kitchen. “It’s getting colder out.”_

_She blushes and grabs her coat from where she had set it on the couch. It’s barely the end of September, so it’s not really that cold out yet, but it’s not as if she can just ignore a direct instruction like that. Worst comes to worst she’ll take it off when they get to the shrine._

_“He’s secretly a softy, huh, Koro?” she breathes as the door shuts behind her, trying not to let her nerves show in her voice. Koro gives her a knowing look. Without Aigis, she never would have assumed that a dog like Koro could understand her, but unfortunately she can tell that he’s judging her. “Don’t act like you don’t like him too.”_

_But Koro is a dog, so it’s not in the same way, and she knows that. It’s just frustrating that she would have a crush on someone so - so - Minato-esque._

_(By that she means emotionally unavailable.)_

_(Minato would hit her if she said that out loud.)_

_“Do you think it could go anywhere?” she wonders aloud, then shakes the thought away. “Never mind, you’ll say no. Come on, let’s go see if Ken’s at the playground.”_

* * *

This time she comes to standing where she was before the memory started. Makes sense. It would’ve been counterintuitive to appear outside of the dorm. It feels like she can see the members of S.E.E.S. hanging out on the couch in her peripheral, but she knows there is nothing to be gained in the living room anymore. Up the twirling staircase she goes, then. The second floor is the boys’ floor, she knows. Ghosts of the past flicker in the common area as she reaches the first landing. She blinks them away and stares down the hallway.

She glances at the other doors before deciding to make her way around so that she ends up at the stairs again when she’s done with the floor. First door on the right. . . that one is Ken’s room, right? Might as well start there and work her way around counterclockwise.

* * *

_She sits across from Ken at Wild Duck Burger, watching him absolutely shovel food into his mouth. His appetite reminds her of Minato, just most things about Ken do. That’s probably why she has such a strong urge to protect the younger boy - older sister instincts kicking in._

_(She can hear Minato protesting in her head that she’s not that much older than him, but a few minutes makes all the difference to her.)_

_Ken blushes at her stare. “Aren’t you going to eat, Hamuko-san?”_

_She looks down at her plate. She hadn’t touched it yet. “Oh, whoops,” she giggles. “Yeah, I’m gonna eat. Sorry, I was just thinking.”_

_He goes quiet and starts eating slower. “It’s just not the same,” he says dejectedly. “When my mom was alive, we never went out to eat. . . I guess she was really good at cooking. Store-bought box lunches just taste horrible.”_

_She frowns but knows what he means. She doesn’t remember much about her parents, but she knows nothing really is the same as back then. She’s just learned to take the change in stride. It’s much newer for Ken, though. He’s much younger._

_After a moment, Ken looks up and gives a slight smile. “Sorry. This is really good. If you don’t mind, I’d like to come here with you again.”_

_She beams at him. “Sure, Ken-kun. I’d be happy to take you again.”_

* * *

She ends up back outside Ken’s door. Is it going to be like that every time? That memory didn’t even take place in the dorm, which means the memories aren’t actually tied to the dorm itself. What are the memories tied to, then?

(The obvious answer is ‘the people’, but then she wonders why each memory - so far - is physically represented within the dorm.)

Second door on the right - Junpei’s room. She hesitates outside of the door. She has the urge to knock, but she knows the dorm isn’t real. The room is empty. She knocks anyways, but doesn’t wait for an answer before going in, knowing that the answer will not come.

* * *

_She’s in Hagakure Ramen with Junpei, having been dragged here the second school ended. Junpei seems worked up over something, but she’s not quite sure what, nor has he told her why they’re going out to eat._

_“You okay with the special?” Junpei asks. “If you want, they can put an extra egg on top.” He gestures to her bowl. “Come on, eat up!”_

_She gives him a puzzled look but picks up her chopsticks, nonetheless. “Thank you for the food,” she says out of habit. “Are you okay?”_

_“. . . You look like you’re in high spirits, like always,” he says instead of answering the unasked question. Is that concern in his voice? What would have Junpei acting so weirdly?_

_She sets down her chopsticks. “What do you mean?”_

_“Wait, you haven’t heard?” he asks, then hesitates. “Guess I shouldn’t have brought it up. . .”_

_“Junpei,” she says sternly._

_“Okay, okay, I’ll tell you. Sheesh. Don’t get mad, okay?”_

_“What did you do this time?”_

_He goes wide-eyed and shakes his head. “Not me! Just. . . there’s some photos of you going around. Photos of you in your gym clothes.”_

_Oh. She giggles a little. “You made it sound like someone had died, Stupei. Pictures of me practicing?”_

_“There are other girls in it, but you’re front and center. I think whoever was taking them was targeting you,” he says, clearly confused by her giggles. “Are you not bothered?”_

_“Well, it is disgusting,” she says and doesn’t continue. It is disgusting to know that the boys at school have a picture of her in her gym clothes, but it’s not like it’s the first time this has happened. Junpei was acting like Minato had died or something. It’s a relief to know it’s just regular high school disgustingness that he’s upset over. And kind of sweet, honestly._

_“Yeah, no kidding. I mean, school is a public place, but it’s kind of like peeping on you,” Junpei says with disdain. “One of the guys in a different class found it. He came over to me and was like, ‘isn’t this the girl in your dorm?’ I took that copy away, but the original’s still out there.”_

_They sit in silence for a bit while Junpei gathers his thoughts. Hamuko just busies herself with enjoying her ramen. She’ll never be upset about Hagakure ramen. Even better since Junpei is paying for it (for once)._

_“Anyways,” he says eventually with a laugh. “You must be real popular. That sort of thing isn’t normal. I wonder if I’ll be in danger of having my picture taken with you.”_

_She makes a face. “Oh, ew, Stupei, don’t make me think about people thinking we’re together.”_

_“Hey!’_

* * *

Back outside of Junpei’s door, and onto the next room. This one is Minato’s. She wonders if the memory will be during the year they stayed at Gekkoukan, or if this might be one of the only ones she will get to see her childhood in. Not that it matters, if the way Ryoji explained it is true. She’ll just have all her memories when she wakes up, no matter what she relives now.

She supposes there’s only one way to tell what the memory will be. She sighs and enters the room.

* * *

_She’s staring up at the sky, head resting on Aigis’s lap, waiting for the others to remember and come to the rooftop. They have to remember, right? They promised. She’s been so tired, but the promise is what has been keeping her going. She just has to wait a little bit longer._

_Aigis is talking of relationships and humanity, of love and friendship, of finding out who she is. Hamuko is glad that - even for a moment - she gets to experience Aigis discovering the world beyond Shadows. This moment could last forever, and everything would be perfect._

_She can hear footsteps coming up the stairwell to the rooftop and, moments later, Minato slams the door open and runs over, panting and coughing from the exertion._

_(So this is why he chose kendo over track, she thinks with some amusement.)_

_“Ham,” he says, eyes wide and slightly teary. “What did you do?”_

_For a moment, she feels guilty for her decision. How cruel of her, to sacrifice herself, and bring Minato’s remaining family down to zero. He has never feared his own death, she knows. Only hers. And she has made that fear into a reality by her own volition._

_It’s inherently a selfish decision to make him live in a world without her rather than bear living in a world without him._

_It’s better this way. Minato still has the members of S.E.E.S, of their little found family, and she can rest easy knowing that he will live at least a while longer. At least one Arisato will live a full life, though it won’t be her. She finds she doesn’t regret her decision in the slightest._

_She takes a breath and looks up at her brother. “I’m sorry, Min,” she says, and she can hear the exhaustion in her voice. “It had to be done.”_

_“It should have been me,” he says. “You should’ve let it be me.”_

_He has to know she would never in a million years do that, no matter how much guilt she has about leaving him behind. She’d rather it’d be her._

_She’s so, so tired. It’s getting hard to keep her eyes open. “Hey,” she says softly. “Live your best life, okay?”_

_“Ham, you can’t. . .” he says in a dead whisper. “Please.”_

_“It’s already been done.”_

_She can hear the shouts and steps of the rest of S.E.E.S. She could live in this moment forever - this is enough. Her friends, her family, Aigis. It’s enough._

_Her eyes close of their own accord._

_She drifts off to sleep to the sound of her nearing friends._

* * *

She shakes herself, wipes the tears from her eyes, and turns to the door opposite Minato’s. She can’t dwell on that. She’s alive and so, hopefully, is Minato. There’s no reason for her to be crying now. Moving on. Akihiko’s next, the door across from Minato.

* * *

_“I think you remind me of Miki,” Akihiko says as they’re walking to Hagakure to get some ramen. “Shinji said that’s who you remind him of.”_

_“Your little sister?” Hamuko says thoughtfully. “I remind you both of a little sister.” Kind of a blow, to be honest. She’s seen the way Akihiko looks at Minato. It’s a bit rude that Minato gets to be crushed on while she’s stuck being a little sister figure to all her senpai._

_“No, not like a little sister in general,” Akihiko backtracks. “Just like. . . Miki. You two have the same personality.”_

_Why is he backtracking so hard? Maybe because him thinking of her as a sister means he has to think of Minato as a brother and - ew. Yeah, she’d backtrack too. The backtracking takes her out of sister-zone with Akihiko, but he says nothing about Shinji._

_To say she’s disappointed by that thought is an understatement, but she lets it go. This is about her friendship with Aki, not about her crush on Shinji. She waits for Akihiko to continue his thought._

_“That’s why I’ve been getting so protective lately,” he finally continues. “Even though you’re probably in less danger than I am at any point.”_

_She giggles a little. “Sanada Akihiko admitting he’s not invincible? Say it isn’t so.”_

_He pushes her a little, jokingly. “We all have our weaknesses. I’ll stop being so damn obsessive.”_

_“Anything else you and Shinjiro-senpai talked about?” she asks with another giggle. “Cuz it sounds like he gave you a stern lecture about something.”_

_Akihiko rubs his neck in embarrassment. “He might’ve put some things in perspective, yeah. Sorry about - well.”_

_She knows what he’s talking about, of course. He’s developed a habit over the past few weeks of treating both her and Minato like fragile children in battle, despite the fact that they’re the leaders of the team. She’s had it worse than Minato, though, and now she knows why._

_“It’s okay, Akihiko-senpai,” she says with a soft smile. “Just don’t do it again.”_

* * *

There’s only one last door on the boy’s floor. This one is Shinji’s. Did she do that on purpose?

. . . Doesn’t matter now.

She braces herself and goes in.

* * *

_Hamuko fidgets nervously in the doorway of Shinji’s room. It’s surprisingly devoid of anything much, with plain bedsheets and an empty desk. There’s no personality to the room whatsoever, a strong contrast to her overtly pink and orange room. Even Minato’s room has more life to it than this room._

_Shinji sits on his bed, not wearing his peacoat or beanie for once. The plain turtleneck looks good on him, she thinks absently, then blushes. Shinji looks up at her and huffs. “What’re you standing there for? Sit.”_

_She sits obediently next to him on the bed, ninety-percent sure that her face is bright red. “Did you want something, Shinjiro-senpai?”_

_He hesitates for a moment, looking anywhere in the room but her. Impressive, considering there’s not actually anything to look at in his room. She opens her mouth to repeat the question but instead is met with his lips on hers. She freezes for a second - long enough that he starts to pull away - before leaning into it._

_She’s never really kissed anyone before. It’s sort of exhilarating. Honestly, she should have been doing this before - though she’s never really been interested in anyone, either. Most of the boys at school just think she’s hot, nothing more. This, though, whatever this is. . . she could get used to it._

_He pulls away after a bit. “Tch, this isn’t how it was supposed to end up,” he says, distancing himself even further. “You could do much more with your life than be with me.”_

_“You’re the one that kissed me,” she protests. “And you’re wrong.”_

_Shinji’s favorite hobby is giving her mixed signals, apparently. He invited her to his room, kissed her, and then immediately changed his mind and kicked her out when she reciprocated. There’s some sort of war going on in his head, but she’s not sure why. What’s making him so hesitant?_

_“Just. . .” he says, trailing off before finding his train of thought again. “It’s better if we didn’t. You should go.”_

_She swallows her bout of righteous anger. It’s - he’s - ugh. It’s clear he’s fighting with something. It’s not her place to pressure him, no matter how stupid she thinks he’s being - or the fact that he’s the one that initiated it. Whatever just happened can always be dealt with later. She nods and makes her way to the door._

_“I don’t regret kissing back,” she says before closing the door behind her and making her way to her room._

* * *

That had been October 2nd, she remembers. Shinji had gone out of his way to avoid her for the next few days, and then - well. They never got to talk about it. Maybe now that they’re older he can have some sense knocked into him. He seems to be less closed off now, at least.

She shakes herself and looks around. That can be dealt with later - for now, memories. She’s been to every single boy room, meaning it’s time to go up onto the girl’s floor. This one is laid out almost exactly like the floor below it, though the door she knows to be Mitsuru’s is shifted closer to the stairway. She should approach this the same way, then.

That makes Yukari first.

* * *

_“What do you want to do now?” Yukari asks. “Maybe karaoke? I think I’m all shopped out.”_

_Hamuko laughs. “Finally? I didn’t think that was possible for you.”_

_“I could’ve invited Minato instead,” Yukari huffs. “He’s a much better shopping buddy. One hundred percent less judgement.”_

_“Too bad for you, Junpei dragged him out for some dumb boys thing. Guess we’re switching best friends for the day, huh?”_

_Minato’s quick and easy friendship with Yukari was probably the most surprising thing about moving back to Iwatodai, but she can see how it happened now that it’s been a little while. Yukari is a talker and so is Hamuko. They devolve quickly into talking over each other, which can be fun but definitely isn’t sustainable in a close friendship._

_Minato, however, is a listener. His relationship with Yukari isn’t very hard to sustain - especially since they’re both gay. She imagines there’s some amount of solidarity involved, considering they also both have crushes on their Senpai._

_(Not that either has admitted said crushes to themselves, let alone each other or - god forbid - Hamuko.)_

_A child comes over to them, clearly lost and crying. Yukari gives her an apologetic glance and takes the time to help him, like Hamuko minds that somehow. She sits on the bench by the fountain with their shopping bags and waits for the other girl to come back._

_She does so soon - given that there’s literally a police station inside the mall - and slumps next to Hamuko. “He was able to contact his parents,” she says with some relief. “But. . . what were they thinking, leaving him all alone?”_

_Hamuko puts a hand on Yukari’s shoulder. This is clearly a sore spot._

_“It just - ugh. It makes me so mad,” she continues. “My mom is just like that.”_

_Oh, right. She remembers this. “You said you two aren’t close, right?”_

_Yukari starts fidgeting with the hem of her skirt. “Yeah. She’s kind of terrible, to be honest. But. . . she wasn’t always like that.”_

_They never are, Hamuko supposes. Jeez, all of their parents are either dead, terrible, or both. She tries to picture any of them having a functional family and stifles her giggle. Yeah, that'll never happen. “I’m sorry,” she says out loud._

_Yukari sighs. “It’s not your fault. After what happened to dad, she just sort of became a different person. If I had to guess what she’s doing right now, it’s. . . living with one of her boyfriends, or something. Honestly, I don’t know, and I’m going to keep it that way.” At Hamuko’s wince, Yukari perks up a little. “Hey, you know what’d be cool? Changing the subject!”_

_At this, Hamuko has to laugh. “Alright, change the subject then, Yuka-tan.”_

_“Okay, did you hear about. . .”_

* * *

She’s really getting whiplash from these memories. Lighthearted, genuine problems, remembering her own death - it’s a mixed bag. These are supposed to be her core memories, right? Some of these are so innocuous that she has a bit of trouble believing it, but she supposes this weird world would know better than her.

Okay, onto the next room. This one is Fuuka’s, if she remembers correctly. 

* * *

_“Hey, Fuuka-chan,” Hamuko says, trailed into the girl’s common area by her brother. “You wanted something?”_

_“Uhm, yeah,” Fuuka says nervously and holds out two wrapped boxes, pink and blue. “I made you both something, as a thank you for helping me out in the Cooking Club.”_

_“Is it edible?” Minato asks in a flat tone. Hamuko hits him on the arm, but doesn’t disagree with the question. She’s not sure she can stomach whatever Fuuka has decided to give them if it is meant to be edible._

_Thankfully, Fuuka laughs. “No, I didn’t cook it. Here,” she says and presses the pink one into Hamuko’s hands. “Open it.”_

_She rips into the paper - noting as she does so that Minato is carefully taking it apart in the same way he does all gifts, to preserve and fold the wrapping paper later - and opens the box._

_Oh._

_It’s a pair of headphones, much cooler looking than her current pair. “You made these?” she asks, taking them out of the box._

_Fuuka fidgets nervously. “Do you like them? I was messing around with some circuitry -”_

_Minato is already plugging them into his MP3 player and turning on some music. After a moment he takes them off and nods. “Sounds good.”_

_“I trust his judgement,” Hamuko says with a smile. “Thank you, Fuuka-chan.”_

* * *

That was cute. Fuuka is adorable, honestly. Hamuko turns to go to the next door but pauses. The next door is her own room. Will there even be a memory in there? . . . She has to check, doesn’t she? She has to get every memory before she can leave – or at least, that’s what she assumes.

* * *

_She sits crisscross applesauce on her bed, waiting patiently for the Dark Hour to come. Minato is sitting at her desk, doing some homework, silently keeping her company. It’s not technically within the rules for him to be here, but she knows Mitsuru will turn a blind eye if she somehow notices it._

_She’s never been able to fall asleep until after the Dark Hour comes, but this time she’s not even sure she’ll fall asleep after it does._

_The full moon was only a few days ago. She prefers not to think about it, but usually Pharos appears soon afterwards. She wants to be awake to greet him if he does come, no matter what just happened._

_(She’s still a bit of a wreck, honestly. The others have been leaving her to her own devices, with the exception of Minato, who has been spending every minute she’s home and awake in her room with her. It’s kind of funny how quickly their roles have reversed.)_

_The world finally goes green. Minato pulls his headphones off but doesn’t stop doing his homework. Hamuko is jealous of how diligently he works – she’d never managed to get anything done during the Dark Hour, and that has to be why she’s always a point or two behind him when grades come out._

_“Hello,” Pharos says from her peripheral. “You seem tired. Did something happen?”_

_“Hi, Pharos,” she says quietly. Minato finally stops working and turns to watch the exchange. They’re not usually in the same place when Pharos visits, but she knows he visits both of them. “My – our friend was put into a coma the other day.”_

_She doesn’t know why she bothered to correct herself. She doesn’t think Minato and Shinji have ever said a single word to each other. They’re too similar – too unwilling to reach out – for that._

_“Is that so?” he says with some amount of sadness in his voice. “In this world, people die every day. Until recently, this was the same to me as the blowing of the wind.”_

_“Until recently?” she asks softly._

_“Now, I see things differently. For the first time, I have friends,” he says, looking between the two of them. “Lately, I’ve become more certain of something. You know the end I’ve spoken of? Some people refer to it as “the Fall,” but regardless. . . it’s drawing near. Don’t you sense it?”_

_She doesn’t sense it, but she trusts what he says. He hasn’t been wrong yet._

_“We’re kindred spirits,” Pharos says. “So why is it that only I can remember? This is a heartrending matter. Is my existence something you are unable to accept?”_

_“Pharos. . .” she trails off._

_He goes through a range of emotions before setting back into his serene one. “Forgive me if I have said anything peculiar today. . . perhaps it is the change of the seasons. Until then, goodnight.”_

_He disappears the same way he always does, and that’s when Hamuko finally processes something._

_“Min,” she says. “Don’t you think he looks a bit like you?”_

* * *

Pharos is Ryoji, she knows now. She wonders if there will be a Ryoji memory, at some point. She knows that they were different arcana, somehow. The room across from hers is Aigis’s. She giggles. Aigis was pretty persistent about taking that room instead of living up on the fourth floor – better to be physically close to Hamuko than close to neither twin, she supposes.

* * *

 _The Shadows are closin_ _g in, but none of them have their Evokers. Why don’t any of them have their Evokers? What a stupid little mistake – she usually never goes anywhere at night without it, just in case. Wearing a dress instead of a skirt is a flimsy excuse at best; the other girls have straps for their legs, Hamuko just never wears hers. Yukari had rushed out in a burst of emotion, and Minato had chased after her pretty quickly afterwards. Neither of them grabbed their Evokers first._

_“What are we going to do?” Yukari says with a tinge of panic in her voice. “There’s too many of them to get through and run away.”_

_They’re backed into each other by this point. She’s supposed to be the main leader and even she’s unsure of what they could possibly do. Morbidly, she hopes that the others can still manage without the two Wild Cards on their team, but she shakes that thought away. Now is not the time to be thinking depressing thoughts._

_“Defense protocol activated,” says an emotionless voice from somewhere nearby. “Protect at all costs.”_

_She looks around and eventually finds the source – isn’t that the girl from earlier? The one who ran away when she approached to apologize for the boys’ behavior. Interesting that she would be awake now, of all times._

_Hamuko watches as the girl’s dress burns off, bullets come out of her fingertips, and – that is not a girl, that’s a robot. A Shadow fighting robot. Just what does the Kirijo Group do with all their money and spare time, anyways?_

_After the robot is done dispatching every single Shadow, she approaches. “I have found you at last,” the robot says, looking directly at Hamuko and Minato._

* * *

That leaves one last memory for this floor. Mitsuru’s. Hamuko knows that there’s a meeting room upstairs, where there might be another memory, but after that she’s not sure. She’ll deal with that when she gets to it, she decides, and pushes open Mitsuru’s door.

* * *

_They’re at the movies, on her quest to make Mitsuru a functioning member of not-rich society. Basic skills like “eating like a normal person” and “interacting with people without so many formalities” seemed to have escaped Mitsuru’s upbringing, unsurprisingly._

_“I never imagined the popcorn you eat while viewing a movie could taste so good,” Mitsuru says with a smile. “Before I knew it, I’d eaten your half too. I apologize.”_

_Hamuko giggles. “Don’t worry, Mitsuru-senpai. Accidentally stealing popcorn is an essential part of the movie-watching experience. I always accidentally eat Minato’s.”_

_“Is that so,” Mitsuru says with a slight chuckle. “Regardless, it’s relaxing to watch movies on your own whim. You can have ‘bored’ written over your face without having to consider the feelings of others.”_

_Honestly, Hamuko hadn’t even thought of that part. Of course Mitsuru would find it fun to not have to keep up appearances for an hour or two, given her role as the Kirijo heir. “Was the movie boring?” she asks._

_“Oh, no, I was speaking hypothetically. I enjoyed it,” Mitsuru says with a bigger smile than before. “I don’t think I would normally have this type of conversation. You’re the type that wouldn’t feel uncomfortable watching a movie by herself, aren’t you? You may be more suited to a motorcycle than me.”_

_“What? But Mitsuru-senpai, you look so cool on your motorcycle!”_

_“It’s true that I bought it so I can go where I want, when I want,” she admits. “It was my modest attempt at rebellion. I had planned to get rid of it after it was damaged, but I decided to have it repaired instead.”_

_Hamuko breathes a sigh of relief. So she’s not getting rid of the bike – that’s good. She doesn’t know if she could stand it if Mitsuru got rid of her motorcycle. “I’m glad.”_

_“It may be a bit of an exaggeration to say I cherish it, but I do enjoy riding when I have the time to.” Mitsuru smiles again and gestures around. “It’s not dark yet. Let’s go find something else to do, shall we?”_

* * *

Up the next flight of stairs, to the meeting room. After that, wherever her whims take her. This one is the last S.E.E.S. memory, at least. It has to be.

* * *

_“There is a 25 th hour in the day,” Ikutsuki says._

_“Yeah, we know,” Hamuko replies, glancing at Minato. “And?”_

_The chairman falters, like he didn’t expect her answer. She frowns a little. The dorm members know about the midnight phenomenon but didn’t expect the twins to already know about it. Does that mean they haven’t been experiencing it for as long as they can remember? She wonders what that would feel like._

_Sanada picks up the conversation thread that Ikutsuki had left. “We call it the Dark Hour.”_

_Hamuko looks between everyone in the room and has a silent exchange with her brother. “You want us to join your weird group, right? That’s why we’re here. You can skip the explanations.”_

_“You’ll have time to think about it, of course,” Ikutsuki starts._

_“I’m in.” Minato whispers from beside her. She’s pretty sure from the expressions on their faces that they hadn’t heard him speak yet and, like everyone else, had assumed him to be mute. She knows he finds that assumption hilarious and plays into it as much as he can. It doesn’t help that he knows JSL._

_“Well, you heard him,” she says. “We’re in.”_

* * *

That leaves Hamuko with not much elsewhere to go. There shouldn’t be anything if she goes back down, so. . . up to the rooftop it is. She wonders idly as she climbs the stairs if there will be anything more after the rooftop. She had more friends than just S.E.E.S.

Flashes of another time play in front of her, much different from the memories she has been experiencing. Yukari rushes up the stairs, closely followed by herself and Minato – both in pajamas. The night they awakened their Personas, then. Not enough to count for its own memory apparently, but still important, she supposes.

* * *

_She stands on the school rooftop, enjoying the day. Her and Ryoji had snuck in – climbed over the gates and everything. She’s not sure she’s ever broken a rule this bad before, but she can’t find it in her to care._

_“I wonder if we’ll get in trouble if someone finds us,” Ryoji says._

_She looks around. “Probably. We did break in. We’ll just have to not be seen.”_

_He laughs a little at this. “I see. You’re an interesting person, Hamuko-chan.”_

_She takes a seat on one of the benches and gestures for him to sit next to her. For a while, they just sit there. The mood is – not quite happy, but she can’t put her finger on what it is. She decides not to dwell on it and just enjoy this time._

_“When I’m alone,” Ryoji eventually starts, voice soft. “I don’t feel right. I think I’m scared. Thinking about you. . . it scares me. The fact that tomorrow will come. . . scares me. But I can’t figure out why.”_

_The way he’s talking reminds her of Minato, so she says nothing in response. When Minato opens up, speaking often makes him shut down. Ryoji will continue if he wants to, when he’s ready. They sit for a while longer before he eventually does speak up again._

_“Hey, Hamuko-chan. . . I – I – I’m. . .”_

_“You’re Ryoji,” she says gently._

_He gives a small smile. “Hearing you say it makes it sound so wonderful. . . thank you. I. . . I don’t want to lose you. Because you’re important to me. That’s probably why I’m scared.”_

_She puts her arm around his shoulder – though he’s taller than her, so it’s a bit awkward, even sitting – and pulls him into a side hug. “You won’t lose me, Ryoji,” she says. “I promise.”_

* * *

Somehow, she comes out of the memory on the school rooftop instead of the dorm rooftop. Interesting. If she goes back downstairs, will it continue being the school? If it does, then her instinct was right; she has to remember something to do with all her friends, not just the members of S.E.E.S. She looks around the rooftop - noting that the city is blurry and indistinct, like it doesn’t want her to actually see it - one last time and makes her way down.

Let’s see. . .

The student council room is probably the closest, so she heads there. The school keeps being the school as she opens the rooftop doors and heads down the stairs to the student council room, so she’s fairly sure her original hypothesis was correct.

* * *

_“The other day,” says Hidetoshi to the rest of the student council. “I was talking about the cigarette butt in the boy’s bathroom. The teachers want the student to be expelled as soon as I find out who it is.”_

_“Expelled?” asks Chihiro with worry on her face. The rest of the student council mutters about it, and Hamuko exchanges glances with Minato. She’s not exactly sure how she feels about that decision._

_The meeting wraps up soon afterwards, but Hamuko stays behind. Minato leaves talking to Chihiro, another one of the friendships she can’t fathom the beginning of. “Expulsion, huh?” Hidetoshi mutters. He looks tired. “What do you think, Hamuko-kun? About the smoker’s punishment, that is.”_

_“It’s a bit strict. . .” she trails off, hoping Hidetoshi agrees. She can never tell with the way he acts._

_He nods. That was the answer he was looking for, thankfully. “I think so too. I think once I catch the culprit, I’ll give him a good lecturing. After all, the point is to try to prevent it from happening again. It’d be great if I could get people like him to change their ways. I don’t sympathize with students who break the rules, but. . .”_

_“But expulsion is a bit too much,” she agrees. “I think a lecture is a good choice, Hidetoshi-kun.”_

_“Kicking out the ‘bad’ kids won’t really make the school a better place,” he ponders out loud, then shakes himself. “Sorry, I don’t know why I’m complaining. I guess I’m just confused because I feel so powerless. I’ll have more power if I do what the teacher wants and win his trust. Then people will have to listen to me. Watch me, Hamuko-kun! I’ll work my way to the top.”_

_His persistence is kind of endearing, even though he can be a bit overbearing at times. She supposes he just hates the feeling of not being able to do anything. The expulsion thing can be worked out if and when they ever catch the smoker. No point in worrying about it right now._

* * *

The rest of her friends would be on the first floor, she thinks. Maybe the gym first? She heads to the Eastern stairs and comes out right by the walkway to the gym. Easy. She pushes open the door to the walkway.

* * *

_The persimmon tree really is pretty, she thinks. Even more so that she knows the emotional significance behind it. As she nears, she sees Bunkichi and Mitsuko standing near it._

_“Hello,” she calls out._

_“Ah, Hamu-chan,” says Bunkichi. “We came to say goodbye to the tree.”_

_“You decided to let the school go through with the remodel?” she asks. She knows they had been debating it for a while. It’ll be sad for the tree to go, but she’s glad they finally came to a decision. If they decided to let the school remove it, then she’s sure they have a good reason._

_“They’re moving the tree to another wing,” Mitsuko explains. “But even so, we decided that education was more important than the tree. Our son was a teacher, you know.”_

_She does know. She had been drawn to the old couple the same way Minato had, and for the same reason. They lost a son, and the twins lost their parents. It’s an interesting case of role-fulfilling, especially if you include the car crash aspect._

_Of course, none of them are true replacements, but it’s nice to have a reason to connect. Minato enjoys the bookstore far more than she does – he’s always been a reader – and frequents it more often, but Hamuko enjoys helping out when she can. It’s nice to see a conclusion to the persimmon tree thing and see the couple out and about._

_“That’s good,” she says. “I’m happy for you.”_

_“You and Minato-kun need to stop by soon for some food,” Mitsuko says, eyes smiling. “Both of you.”_

_Hamuko gives a wide smile. “I’ll make sure to drag him over. Shouldn’t be too hard.”_

* * *

She hadn’t expected a memory there, but she guesses it makes sense. She gives the persimmon tree one last look before moving on. She was heading to the gym, after all, and there’s no use lingering.

* * *

_They’re just leaving the tennis court, having been practicing for a while now. She had suggested food and gossip, and apparently that was all Rio needed to start talking._

_“Kenji?” Hamuko says and makes a face. “You have a crush on Kenji?”_

_One of Minato’s few male friends, and the worst one at that. She’s not sure she’s ever disliked someone more than she dislikes Kenji, actually. Rio blushes a little. “He’s just really cute.”_

_“Sure,” she responds. “If you’re into the dorky thing. Which I guess you are.”_

_Rio blushes even harder. “You don’t have to be mean about it.”_

_“No, Rio,” she reassures. “I think it’s cute that you have a crush. It’s just. . . Kenji’s a world-class perv.”_

_“It’s kind of charming, don’t you think?”_

_“No. I do not think that.”_

_Rio stops walking and crosses her arms. “Isn’t he your brother’s friend?”_

_Hamuko sighs and stops too, turning to face Rio. “Yeah, and I don’t approve of that either.”_

_“Well, if your brother likes him, then I see no reason I can’t.”_

_“My brother doesn’t like him like that, though. Kenji isn’t his type. Because he has standards.”_

_They stare at each other for a little while longer before bursting into giggles and continuing on their way. The argument will come up again, sure, and she might have to knock some sense into both Minato and Rio, but she can’t help how people feel. Even if it’s positive feelings about Kenji somehow._

* * *

Nothing left to be gained in the gym, she starts heading back out. The rest of the school memories should be in the main building, which is convenient. No wandering around for her, at least. She blocks the ghosts of the past from her view and heads back out into the courtyard.

* * *

_“Hey,” Maiko calls out as Hamuko and Minato near. “Have you seen Striped Shirt? We were playing tag, but it’s no fun if I can’t find him.” A boy – about their age – wearing a striped shirt approaches, making Maiko light up. “Hey, Striped Shirt! You don’t look so good. . . are you sick?”_

_He glances at the two of them before answering. “Kinda, yeah. I’m surprised you could tell.”_

_Maiko’s excitement immediately vanishes. “So you are sick?”_

_For a split second, Hamuko considers intervening, but then the boy gives a light chuckle. “Haha, no. I’m kidding. You’re so easy, Maiko.”_

_From the looks of him, she doesn’t think he was kidding, but she can see why he would change his answer just to make Maiko feel better. As it is, Maiko pouts a little. “No fair! I’m an innocent girl, so I actually believed you!” She gives him a frustrated look and runs off to play on the playground._

_The boy turns back to Hamuko and Minato. “. . . And you are?”_

_“Oh,” Hamuko says with a small laugh. “Arisato Hamuko and Arisato Minato. We stop by to play with Maiko sometimes.”_

_His eyes light up in recognition. “Oh, so you’re the people she was talking about. I wondered what you were like. . . are you too old to play with kids, or are you still young at heart?”_

_“Hamuko’s like a little kid,” comes Minato’s voice._

_She pushes him a little. “You only ever talk when it’s to insult me.”_

_“That’s not true.”_

_The boy laughs at their exchange a little. “Kamiki Akinari. It’s nice to meet you."_

* * *

When Hamuko comes to, the area across from the persimmon tree has transformed into a perfect replica of the shrine playground. Interesting. She spends a bit walking around it, fascinated by whatever is creating these memory areas, before eventually deciding to move on.

The home economics room is next, she thinks. It’s the closest to the gym, anyways.

* * *

_“Zere,” Bebe says in his thick accent. “I am finished!”_

_She looks over to see Bebe holding up the kimono he’s been working on for a while. “You did it!” she says excitedly, admiring his work. She hasn’t progressed further than making little plushies, but she doesn’t think she would have the patience to do what Bebe did. “Oh, Bebe, it looks great!”_

_“Very nice!” he says, also admiring it. “I ‘ave no complaints! When my uncle sees zis, he will surely let me come back to Nihon! It eez time for ‘im to concede! I must ‘urry up and go see ‘im!” he pauses and looks sadly at her. “So I ‘ave to say goodbye for a little while. . . sayonara. . .”_

_“I’ll miss you,” she says softly. “But I’m glad you got your kimono done.”_

_“But I’ll be back!” says Bebe with renewed spirit. “I will not give in to my uncle!”_

_He pauses again and rummages around the area where he’s been working. Hamuko watches him with some interest – had he made something without her here? . . . she has been missing meetings recently._

_“Hamuko-sama,” he says eventually, pulling something out. “Please, take zis.”_

_It’s a little pouch, made out of the same fabric that the kimono was. It’s really pretty, actually. She feels tears pricking her eyes – she’s never been good at goodbyes – but clutches it anyways. “Thank you, Bebe.”_

_“I made it from ze leftover material. It eez a sign of our friendship!” he says with a wide smile._

_She looks down at the pouch in her hands. A sign of their friendship indeed. She’s always been a little too sentimental, but she knows she’s going to treasure this pouch forever._

* * *

That only leaves the library, in the opposite wing. She makes her way there, simultaneously wondering at the emptiness as she walks through the entrance and haunted by flickers of students that aren’t really there. Yukari walks past, trailed by Minato and Hamuko – showing them around on their first day.

She shakes her head and walks quicker to the library.

* * *

_“Love advice, hm,” Saori mutters as she pulls out the newsletter manuscript. “There’s a lot of space left. Can we write that much?”_

_“We’ll just have to try,” Hamuko says resolutely, even though she knows neither her nor Saori are very qualified to be giving love advice. Interesting decision, to choose two library helpers for something like that._

_(It might be because Hamuko is popular, but that doesn’t mean she’s ever dated anyone.)_

_Saori smiles at the reassurance. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s get to it. What sounds like a realistic problem someone would have?_

_Hamuko thinks of what she does know about love, before settling on something simple. They’re not exactly qualified to give any sort of detailed advice, anyway. “Maybe something like ‘I can’t get a boyfriend’?”_

_“Oh, I see. . .” Saori trails off and thinks for a while. “It’s no use, I can’t think of anything to write. How about you write the article and I’ll write the title and work on the layout. Is that fine, Hamuko-chan?”_

_“Yeah, that sounds good.”_

_“Thank goodness,” Saori says with clear relief. “I don’t know anything about that sort of thing after all.” She pauses for a moment and seems to decide something. “My personal experiences aren’t worth shit here.”_

_It takes everything Hamuko has to not burst into loud giggles. They’re still in the library, after all. “Shit? Did you mean to say that?”_

_Saori starts laughing a little too. “Sorry, I just wanted to try cursing for once. Let’s get to work on this article.”_

* * *

Exiting the library leaves no more memories in the school, as far as she can remember. She could roam about – which is tempting – but she doubts that will help at all. Maybe if she goes out the front doors. . .? She might get somewhere new that way, like when she exited the dorm.

No point in not trying.

She pushes open the front doors and ends up inside the mall. Interesting. She walks over to the fountain and is immediately pulled into a memory.

* * *

_“You there,” says a fancy-looking businessman from beside the fountain. “You have quite the pretty face.”_

_She can feel Minato immediately start glowering from beside her. He’s never been a fan of the attention Hamuko receives, especially from. . . ew. . . older men. “Go away,” he deadpans._

_The businessman holds his hands up. “I’m President Tanaka of Tanaka’s Amazing Commodities,” he explains. “You both would make excellent models for our company.”_

_“No thanks,” Minato says and starts to pull her away, but now she’s interested. It’s not that she wants to be a model, of course, but the concept is amusing to her. The chances of this being a scam are pretty high, but that doesn’t really matter to her. A little money for a little fun, right?_

_“What did you have in mind?” she asks with a smile. Minato catches her expression and groans, but stays where he is and stops trying to pull her away._

_“It’s simple, really,” says Tanaka. “You give me 40,000 yen for the chance of a lifetime – to be trained as a model for our prestigious company.”_

_Hamuko lets him sit for a while before answering. “Each?”_

_Tanaka perks up. “Yes, each.”_

_Minato is glaring at her, but it’s not his money she’ll be spending, and she has plenty of money from her part-time jobs. “Sure. Here you go.”_

_Tanaka takes it excitedly and stashes it away. “Perfect. Next time you see me, I’ll have information about that contract,” he says, and then walks away with her money._

_“You just gave him 80,000 yen.” Minato says incredulously._

_“Yeah,” she giggles. “It’ll be fun when I threaten to talk to the cops next time.”_

* * *

The next one should be in Club Escapade, if it follows the pattern. She heads there, a little more creeped out by the emptiness of the mall than she was by the school. She doesn’t know what happens after this, but – she’ll figure it out.

* * *

_“Before I became a monk,” Mutatsu is saying, smoking his signature cigar. “I was a plain ol’ businessman, with a wife and a son. But they both left me. . . four years ago. . .”_

_Hamuko remains quiet. People have a habit of opening up to her, and it’s better when she doesn’t interrupt them. She’ll speak up when she feels an opening, but not a second sooner._

_“I used to stay out past midnight; and when I got home, my wife and I would get into a big argument. . . and now, when I go home, I don’t know what to do with myself, so I just come here and drink every night.”_

_Drinking away his sorrows. . . it’s sad, but she knows it’s common. She sips her carbonated water and resolves to never drink as a crutch. It won’t be worth it. “You’re just running away,” she says eventually._

_Mutatsu gives her a look she can’t quite decipher. “Yeah, you’re absolutely right. I shaved my head, but it’s only for show. . .” he laughs a little. “I get drunk to avoid facing my problems. So yeah, I guess you could say I’m runnin’ away. . . She hasn’t called me or sent me a letter since then. She must’ve gotten over me.”_

_“You should call her,” she says resolutely. “You’ll never know unless you try to reach out.”_

_He laughs a bit more and coughs. “How did a kid get so much wiser than me? . . . I’ll think about it. Get out of here, don’t you have school to worry about?”_

_She puts her drink down and leaves at his request, hoping that she got through to him. That’s all she can really hope for, she supposes._

* * *

As she leaves Club Escapade, she realizes there’s one more place she can go. She stops in front of the alleyway. The blue glow entices her closer, this time without the menacing aura. This is where she was meant to end up, she knows. She hesitates for a second outside of the door, but eventually steels her nerves and enters.

* * *

_Theo looks around the park they’re in. “Hamuko-san, I –“_

_“Chan,” she interrupts._

_“What?”_

_“If you’re going to use an honorific, use chan, Theo. I’m a little tired of the Master stuff or whatever.”_

_He gives her a searching look before continuing his thought. “I shouldn’t be telling you this.”_

_This gains her interest. What could Theo possibly have to tell her? It’s not like the attendants do much but be weird and fuse Personas. “Go on.”_

_“Your story. . .” he trails off. “It will end in death.”_

_She looks to see if he’s being serious, even knowing he doesn’t have the capacity for jokes or lies. “Death?” she asks._

_“A sacrifice,” he clarifies. “The world will need to be saved at the cost of a life.”_

_She ponders over this new information for a while. A life will need to be sacrificed to save the world. . . to prevent the Fall that Pharos used to talk about, she supposes. It makes sense, in a way. She tries to imagine anyone sacrificing themselves and winces. “It will be me, then.”_

_“Hamuko-chan –“_

_She stands up and brushes off her skirt. “Thanks for telling me, Theo,” she says with determination. “But I can’t let it be anyone but me.”_

* * *

She wakes up bathed in blue light, clutching a small piece of cloth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a little late (by about an hour) but here's chapter 9! it's more of a filler chapter, but it's my favorite one so far, i love persona 3 <3 one more chapter left to go, which will be published next sunday, but this time i'm maybe not going to give myself a strict time deadline. in the meantime, feel free to check out my [tumblr](https://bluevelvet-room.tumblr.com) or the commission i had tolbyccia do of [chapter 6 hamuko!](https://tolbyccia.tumblr.com/post/638427493563498496/a-sweet-future-hamuko-commission-for)


	10. x

Hamuko shifts from her awkward position on the floor into a more comfortable sitting position. She can feel that she’s back in the clothes she was wearing when they went to the Depths, rather than her Gekkoukan uniform. If she didn’t know any better, she’d think the whole Ryoji interaction and subsequent trip down memory lane was all a dream. She unclenches her hand and lets the piece of cloth she’s holding unfurl. It’s the armband that Ryoji had handed her before they said their goodbyes.

 _“The final piece,”_ he had said. _“The last thing you were missing. Your friends.”_

And her memories, she supposes. Or, perhaps, her friends were the missing piece to unlock her memories. It doesn’t matter either way – she remembers everything now. She gingerly folds up the armband and tucks it into her skirt waistband, just as she had done in the ‘dream’. There’s no putting it on since it’s for a long-discontinued club, even if she were still in high school.

She looks around. This is the Velvet Room. Not only that, this is _her_ Velvet Room. Well, hers and Minato’s. It looks just as it did back when it served her, except is has clearly long been abandoned since then. The elevator is no longer moving. What was once Igor’s chair doesn’t seem to have had any recent use. Cobwebs decorate the corners of the room, and dust kicks up off the carpet when she shifts.

Is this what happens when the Wild Card is no longer under contract? She was under the impression that it morphs to fit the needs of each Wild Card, not that a whole new one is created. Is that where the doors lead?

A noise sounds from nearby. She looks around to find the source and spots Minato slowly waking up next to Aigis. “Min,” she says with relief, making her way to kneel over him. He didn’t succeed in sacrificing his life for her own, at least, even in the clearly terrible state he’s in.

He doesn’t look gravely injured, but she can see bruises forming where the chains were holding him. There’s a small bit of dried blood trickling down from his hairline, and his face is gaunt. He coughs once, twice – either from the dust in the room or from a genuine injury – and his eyes blink open.

“Ham?” he says in confusion.

How long was he down there?

Logically, she knows that one can survive in a supernatural world for much longer than you’d think. Fuuka was missing for days in Tartarus – though it is arguable whether she was experiencing time the same way they were – and was perfectly fine by the end of it.

A month or more feels like it’s pushing it a little too far, though. His under eyes are dark, looking nearly as bruised as his wrists do. He’d never gotten dark under eyes in high school, no matter how little sleep he got. That can’t be a good sign for how long he’s been in the Depths.

“Are you okay?” she asks him, glancing at Aigis while she waits for him to be a little more aware. The robot is still. Hamuko is no computer expert, so that will have to be dealt with later. Somehow. She wishes Fuuka were here right now, though she’s not sure how exactly that would happen.

“It worked,” he says instead of answering, definitely deliberately ignoring her question. It has always been his favorite question to dodge, especially when it’s clear he isn’t. He shifts to try to get up but winces and lays back down. “Ow. You’re awake.”

She rolls her eyes at him. “Idiot. Do you know how long you’ve been in the Metaverse?”

He hums for a second but doesn’t take his eyes off her. “About as long as you’ve been re-alived?”

“So two months, now,” she says with no small amount of exasperation. “And you’re supposed to be an honors student, did you just say _re-alived_?”

“Not in school anymore,” he says with a slight cough. “I go through the trouble of saving you and you repay me by insulting me. So much for being a good sister, I guess.”

She leans back on her feet to give him room to breathe. “I could’ve just left you in the Metaverse if you wanted. Sounds like you really enjoyed being tortured or whatever was happening there.”

He tries once again to push himself up, this time succeeding. He winces as he leans to support himself and grabs his head in pain. “Don’t remember.” He glances around the room, clearly just noticing all the blue. “The Velvet Room, huh? Why are here?”

Hamuko gets up off her knees and dusts them off. Now that she knows Minato is okay for the time being, she can fully investigate. “Your guess is as good as mine. I was thinking of checking the doors to see if they go anywhere.”

He nods and leans over to check on Aigis. “Do you think she’s alright?”

“She’s been out of commission for a while,” she says as she heads for the doors behind what was once Igor’s chair. “Or she would’ve called for help, even if you gave her other orders. I think she’ll be fine if we can at least get her to Fuuka, if not a Kirijo lab.”

The first three doors she tries are locked. The fourth one opens the second her hand touches it, but not from her own input. It swings in, away from her, and out comes Theo and Elizabeth. She makes room for them to come out. “Oh good,” says Theo as he enters. “You made it. We were afraid. . . never mind.”

“Theo,” she says with relief. If anyone knows anything, it’d be an attendant. “How did we get here?”

He doesn’t answer. Elizabeth steps just a little too close, seemingly inspecting her. “So your mind was not lost to insanity in the process of being returned to your body. How unfortunate.”

Hamuko has never claimed to like Elizabeth, no matter what Minato sees in her. She’s just a little too – too – out there. Insane. (Similar to Hamuko.) The disconnect between the Velvet Room attendants and the real world has always been clear, but Elizabeth takes it to a whole new level. (Hamuko usually finds it amusing. She might just be cranky.)

“Control your attendant,” she tells Minato.

“Can’t,” he says, shifting his weight again and grimacing at the movement. “She’s just like that all the time.”

He’s clearly had to put up with the attendants for the entire time she’s been gone. As much as she loves Theo, and in some part Elizabeth, the concept is not exactly her idea of fun. Speaking of the entire time she’s been gone – “Hey, not that this is relevant, but how old are we?”

Minato considers the question for a bit. “What month is it?”

“December.”

“Twenty-four,” he says after another while.

She rolls her eyes again. “Did you just have to do the math for that? You’ve only been gone for a couple months.”

“I haven’t been keeping track,” he defends. “You wouldn’t have either. Anyways, you could’ve just done the math yourself. Surely you know when we were born.”

He may have a point, but she would rather die a second time than admit it. She tends to think herself a very humble person who accepts mistakes with grace, but she puts the bar at admitting she’s wrong if Minato is the one that is right. She’s older than him, and therefore always more correct than him.

Theo finally notices the bruises on Minato’s wrist and his general un-wellbeing and goes over. “Ah, let me heal you.” He presses his palm to Minato’s forehead and the bruises start fading away, along with the general grime he had been covered in. “There.”

“When did you become an automatic cleaning service?” she asks with some amusement.

“The grime was a result of the Metaverse,” Elizabeth explains. “My brother simply removed all traces of the Metaverse. You’re welcome.”

Minato stands and brushes himself off. He clearly hasn’t changed much since they were younger, wearing an outfit that closely resembles what he would have worn in high school – a navy-blue turtleneck and a pair of jeans – though his coat is notably missing. He gives him a once-over to make sure he’s not simply pretending to be healed.

(It’s not that she doesn’t trust Theo, it’s that she doesn’t trust Minato.)

“You’re going to get cold,” she says eventually, satisfied with his range of movement and (notably terrible) posture.

“You’re not wearing a coat either,” he replies. “And unlike me, you knew it was December.”

He’s right, but once again, she’d rather die than admit it. She goes to retaliate –

. . . She’s looking up to talk to him.

Dammit.

“Aren’t twins supposed to be the same height or something?” she complains. “Why are you taller than me?”

He gives a smug smile. “I’ve always been taller than you.”

“Yeah,” she says indignantly. “That’s why I’m mad.”

“I’d say you might have a growth spurt, but we’re 24 now,” he says in amusement. “You’ve lost your chance.”

The world is cruel and unjust, she decides. She sacrificed herself to save it, and it couldn’t even give her a few extra inches so that she’s not shorter than her younger brother. “At least I can rest easy in knowing you’re shorter than the rest of the guys,” she says, immediately drawing a glare.

While they’re talking, Theo is checking over Aigis. Hamuko isn’t sure what – if anything – he can do for the robot, but if he _can_ do something, it’s better than nothing. She hates seeing Aigis shut down. While Theo is doing that. . .

“So what did you do?” she asks with a more serious tone. “Why am I here?”

He knew she was going to ask eventually, she can tell, but was clearly hoping she wouldn’t. “Elizabeth said. . .” he trails off and gives the woman a glance, but she doesn’t speak up. “She said I couldn’t have been the one to sacrifice myself. It had to be you because you drew on ‘the strength of your bonds’. I didn’t have enough bonds to draw on.”

“Yeah,” she says in confusion. “One friendship for every major arcana. And?”

“But _before_ ,” he says, “if you don’t include the bonds, it could’ve been either of us. Aigis sealed Death in both of us - we’re practically interchangeable. She said -”

“You occupy the same space in the universe,” Elizabeth interjects. “For all intents and purposes, you are the same person.”

He nods. “So. . . all I needed was more bonds.”

They’re _interchangeable._

She hates his phrasing and hates even more what he is clearly dancing around. “You were going to sacrifice yourself to save me.” Her voice is flat and her glower absolute.

He looks a bit sheepish at her tone but doesn’t falter. He was determined to do this, she can tell, which makes it even worse. “If it came down to it.”

“ _Minato -_ ”

“But it didn’t come down to it!” he says a bit louder, defensively. His voice rarely gets louder than a whisper, so this is more of a normal talking level than it is a shout, but it makes her go quiet anyways. “I - I don’t know why, but it didn’t, so you can’t be mad.”

Elizabeth hums. “The most likely thing is that you still had a little bit of Death in you. How interesting. Instead of one of you sacrificing your whole, you both sacrificed your half.”

There is no sense in which Hamuko can make sense of whatever Elizabeth just said. She’s sure it makes sense to Elizabeth herself, and maybe Theo, but definitely not to her. Even if it did make sense, it would do nothing to calm her anger at Minato.

He _promised._

“You both shared the burden of Death,” Theo explains distractedly, still looking over Aigis. “And now you share the burden of the Seal. We are not sure of the long-term effects, but for now you are both alive and should remain that way.”

The concept doesn’t make her any less angry, as predicted. They didn’t know that that’s how it would happen. Their stupid plan -

Their. . .

 _Their_ plan.

“You were going to let him do this?” she asks relatively calmly, considering the circumstances. “You were going to let him trade his life for mine?”

Theo winces, which tells her all she needs to know. “We –“

“Not only were you going to _let_ him do it,” she interrupts, “you told him how he _could._ ”

“It was my idea, Ham,” Minato says softly. “Don’t blame them.”

Her anger softens, but not by much. “I’m blaming all of you. Why did any of you think this was a good idea, especially –“ she pauses, realizing something, and then switches topics. “What happened – the phone calls -?”

“My brother and I are not currently in the graces of our Master,” Elizabeth explains. “As such, we are not technically allowed inside the Velvet Room. Theodore’s final attempt to contact you was right as we were discovered and sent to the Velvet Room by Yaldabaoth.”

She considers this. “And your mistake?”

“Getting discovered. My dear brother meant to find you and help you, but a lapse in judgement led to our capture.”

That seems a bit underwhelming for how dramatic the phone call had felt at the time, but that’s not anyone’s fault. They wanted her to be warned, she supposes. Plus, it’s equally not their fault that there had been interference. That one is likely on the Treasure God – who apparently is Yaldabaoth.

Theo finishes whatever he had been doing to Aigis while they were talking. The robot blinks once, twice, and sits up methodically, glancing around the now defunct Velvet Room. “Recalibrating,” she says in a very robot-y voice. Both Hamuko and Minato wince. Hopefully, the recalibration makes her go back to normal.

There’s not much they can do about that one except wait, so she goes back to her line of questioning. She wants to have all the facts before moving on to what they’re going to do about the fun evil god fucking shit up.

(She is allowed these swears. She is very angry.)

“Okay,” she says and takes a calming breath. It doesn’t work very well. “Okay. So what happened to _you?_ ”

Minato frowns. “I don’t know. I was – it was the top level of Mementos, and I was waiting for you to wake up. My next clear memory is here.”

“You were there? Waiting for me?” she asks. She hadn’t thought about the possibility of that, though it makes sense. There’s no reason for Minato to have gone through all the trouble of bringing her back if he wasn’t going to be there to greet her as she woke up.

He nods. “And Aigis.”

“He likely suffered the same fate as my sister and I,” Theo says. “One Wild Card is dangerous. Two is more than Yaldabaoth would want interfering with his game.”

Something niggles at the back of Hamuko’s mind. She’s been so distracted by the past that she’d momentarily forgotten everything that happened in the past few months. Including, but not limited to, being told Minato did not tell anyone what he was going to do.

“You thought you were going to die,” she says incredulously. “And you didn’t tell anyone what you were going to do?”

Minato winces. “They told you that?”

“You thought they _wouldn’t_?”

“I thought –“ he winces again and pauses, probably thinking whatever he’s about to say through. “Well, if I had died, I wouldn’t exactly be there for them to be mad at me.”

So much for thinking that through. “And your plan once you realized you hadn’t died?” she asks him with an even glare.

“Uh. . . lie about it.”

“ _Minato._ ”

He opens his mouth to defend himself further but is interrupted by Aigis finally standing up. “You are. . . alive,” she says in wonder, staring at Hamuko.

Hamuko promptly throws herself into hugging Aigis. The robot immediately returns the hug – a testament to just how human-like she has become since their first introduction on Yakushima. It’s only when she pulls away that she realizes she’s crying.

“Where was this energy for me?” Minato says with a roll of his eyes.

“You know what you did,” she replies, then gives a teary smile to Aigis. Aigis, who has always felt like home, like the three of them are their own little family – or, going bigger, who is a piece of the much larger S.E.E.S family. This is what she has been missing these past few months. Her _family_.

“She _helped –_ “ he starts.

He’s interrupted by Theo. “We have spent enough time here,” he says. “This area should not still exist. It may be unstable.”

“Fine,” says Hamuko. “We’re all talking about this later, though.”

She dutifully follows the attendants out of the room – notably taking a different door than the one they had originally come through. One of the three locked ones.

“Welcome to the Velvet Room,” says Igor as they enter. “Or perhaps I should say welcome back.”

He’s sitting behind a desk, surrounded by a circle of cells. This is Akira’s version of the Velvet Room, she supposes. Knowing that the Velvet Room is a reflection of one’s heart definitely makes the jail more interesting. “A jail, huh?” Minato mutters from behind her, eyes on the – is that a guillotine? “That’s not scary at all.” She hits him on the arm. Akira is her friend, and. . . she can understand why this might be the reflection of his heart.

It certainly is a lot more on the nose than an elevator, though.

Aigis pushes in front of them and looks around the area, fingertip guns fully out. “Analysis complete. There does not seem to be any danger here.”

“I honestly though you’d give up on the protecting thing at some point,” Hamuko says. “Or at least calm down a little bit.”

“It got worse after. . .” Minato trails off, clearly avoiding the topic of her death. “She’s just like this now.”

She hums in response and takes Aigis’s hand reassuringly. There doesn’t seem to be a sign of the Phantom Thieves, though she’s not quite sure why she expected there to be, aside from Akira. Actually – how did _they_ get there? She turns to task Theo but is distracted by movement in her periphery.

Aigis releases her hand to point her fingertip guns at the movement. Hamuko immediately grabs her hand again and gives her a Look. Akira walks out of a cell on the opposite side of the circular room, still wearing his Phantom Thief gear. “Oh, thank god, you’re alright,” he says to her, giving Aigis an odd look. “We couldn’t find you.”

“We were in. . .” she trails off and glances at Theo and Elizabeth, who seem to be deliberately avoiding the gaze of Igor. They did say they weren’t exactly in his graces at the moment. “Never mind. Where’s everyone else?”

Akira nods his head at the cell he had come out of. “Back there. We were waiting for you.” His eyes catch on Minato and her intertwined fingers with Aigis and smiles easily. “Your brother?”

“Oh, right,” she says. “Minato, Kurusu Akira. Akira, Arisato Minato. And. . . Aigis.”

Aigis shifts a little and her grip on Hamuko’s hand tightens lightly. “Arisato Aigis,” she corrects.

“We had to give her a last name,” Minato says softly. She’s not even sure anyone but her and Aigis can hear him. “She wanted ours. I thought. . . it seemed like something you’d let her do.”

She can’t help the giggles that bubble out. “Aw, Ai-chan, that’s so cute! You’re like a third sibling.”

Akira gives her another odd look, and she realizes that with all her memories she’s reverted to high school Hamuko, not the memory-less and mostly withdrawn Hamuko that the Phantom Thieves know. “She doesn’t have a last name?” he seems to gather from the way they’re talking.

“My name is Arisato Aigis,” Aigis responds firmly.

Hamuko giggles again. “Legally it’s Arisato, I guess. But no, she didn’t have one back in high school.”

Her favorite pastime has always been deliberately confusing people, and she takes no small pleasure in the befuddlement on Akira’s face. “Anyways,” he says eventually, shaking away his confusion. “We’re going to go defeat the Holy Grail. You coming?”

“Wait,” Minato says behind her. “Evokers.”

She lets go of Aigis’s hand to pull the Evoker from her waistband and show it to him.

He grabs it and inspects it. “This one’s mine.”

That explains why it wasn’t near her when she woke up. She’d found it near the tracks, hadn’t she? But still, she doesn’t see how that might be relevant. “Does it matter?” she says exasperatedly. “How do you even know?”

“I dented it a year ago – anyways, Theo has yours,” Minato says and glances back at the attendant, who dutifully produces the Evoker in question. “I gave it to him to keep safe.”

 _Assuming that he would die,_ is what he doesn’t say, but she narrows her eyes at him anyways and accepts her own Evoker. She knows, just as well as Minato does, that it doesn’t matter who uses which Evoker, but she’s glad it worked out this way. If she hadn’t been carrying his, there would only be one Evoker between the two of them, which would be a significant power cap.

She tucks the Evoker into her skirt, just as the original one had been, takes Aigis’s hand again – it really is very comforting – and nods to Akira that she’s ready. They follow Akira to where the rest of the Phantom Thieves are waiting for them, without the attendants. Minato takes one look at them and physically recoils. He hates crowds, she knows, especially ones full of strangers. He’ll have to suck it up for a bit.

“Oh, Hamu-chan, there you are!” says Ann excitedly. “We were worried.”

Hamuko gives her a bright smile. “Thank you for worrying about me, but I’m alright.” She hears Minato mutter something about costumes from behind her but pays him no heed. The Thieves can explain that later.

Akira looks over everyone. “Now that we’re all here, we should go. There’s no telling what will happen if we do nothing.”

Everyone gives their agreement, and they head out the strangely heavy industrial door at the top of the stairs.

* * *

Hamuko takes one look at the world around her and winces. The city is bathed in red, in blood, and there are structures seemingly made of bone shooting out from the ground. A drop falls on her face, and she wipes it away to find her hand covered in red, too. She shudders. That better not be real blood.

(She remembers the puddles in the Dark Hour and wonders why the supernatural loves grossing her out.)

The Phantom Thieves are discussing the implications of the Velvet Room door and the origins of the Velvet Room. She pauses and takes out the phone that was given to her by Fuuka, sighing in relief when it shows that she has bars. Its programming works still. Minato comes up behind her and looks over her shoulder. “Your phone works?”

“Fuuka made it so it’d work in the Metaverse,” she says, already navigating to text Mitsuru their coordinates. “It makes sense that it’d work now.”

“I can send a message to the others,” Aigis says. “My coordinates will be more accurate.”

Right. She’d forgotten about that. “Thank you, Aigis. Please do.”

She texts Mitsuru anyways, just to say that she’s remembered everything and has located Minato, and turns her attention back to the world around them. The city is going about their business as usual, seemingly completely unaware of what is happening. Unaware, even, of the Phantom Thieves themselves, despite the odd getup.

Mitsuru responds with an affirmative and that they are on their way. Hamuko looks up to see Mona glowing, and the city finally noticing _something,_ at least – they’re remembering the Phantom Thieves. Not everyone, of course, but some. That has to be a good, sign, right? The Thieves seem to think it is.

“Over there,” Mona points. “The bastard from earlier should be in that temple.”

“Wait,” Hamuko says. “My friends are on their way.”

Akira quirks his head. “Your friends?”

“The Persona-users,” she explains. “The ones that came to get Akechi.”

“We can surely do without those two,” Makoto says. “This is time-sensitive.”

“Not two,” Hamuko says, shaking her head. “The Shadow Operatives, sanctioned by the Kirijo Group. It’s more like. . .”

“There are many members of the Shadow Operatives,” Aigis says. “Seven will be on their way, as well as Koromaru-chan.”

Just the members of S.E.E.S, then. Makes sense. She gives a pointed nod to Aigis. “It shouldn’t be too much longer. They’re very quick.”

Futaba speaks up. “They’re coming,” she says. “I can sense them moving nearby.”

Minato taps her and nods behind her. She turns around and there her friends are. Ken spots them first, waving excitedly. Koromaru gives a bark and races over. Shinji –

Oh. Shinji.

She throws herself at him - like genuinely throws, as in he has to step back to compensate for literally carrying her now. He seems to be expecting it, though, because he steadies them pretty quickly, returning the hug. “I missed you,” she murmurs into his neck. To hell with the subject they’d been dancing around in high school, honestly. She’s sick of avoiding topics and making up excuses.

He sets her down and gives a warm laugh. This is - he’s changed, she can tell. She could tell before she remembered, of course, but now it’s so much clearer. He’s not nearly as intent on his imminent death - one that never came to pass - or on how stupid she may or may not be for liking him. “You just saw me,” he says, eyes crinkling.

“Not the same,” she says resolutely. “Since I didn’t remember you then.”

In the corner of her eye, she can see Akihiko embracing Minato in a much calmer reunion. They must’ve gotten together sometime after she died - either that or they are very close to doing so, considering the way Akihiko is looking at her brother. Either way, it makes Minato’s lack of communication with their friends even more frustrating.

Which reminds her. . .

They can get the rest of the reunion out of the way later. Not only is there a semi-pressing matter to attend to (the end of the world can only be considered semi-pressing now that it has tried to happen to her twice), but their friends don’t know what Minato had been doing in the time that he was gone. While she may consider agreeing to hide the full detail of it all, they need to know that they should be - rightfully - angry at him.

“Minato is grounded,” she says, catching the full attention of the rest of S.E.E.S and a glare from her brother. “And that _is_ an order.”

Aigis, who has always been partial to her in disputes between her and Minato, nods. “Understood.”

Mitsuru looks at Minato consideringly. “May I ask why?”

“For reckless and terribly thought through behavior.”

Minato crosses his arms. “It wasn’t _terribly thought through_ -”

“I mean, you could tell them what you did and see what they think,” she says, quirking her eyebrow at him. “But they might be angrier with you than I am.”

He remains silent, and the others take this as proof that he definitely did do something reckless and terribly thought through. She knows they will ask him what he did later, just as she knows he will at least tell them part of the truth, and then all of them will be mad at him for a few weeks. Par for the course.

“I’ll take Hamuko’s side on this one,” Akihiko says apologetically.

Minato glowers even more. “This is domestic abuse,” he says flatly.

So they _are_ together, then. That’s honestly more than she’d ever expected, considering how emotionally constipated they both are. “I’m disowning you,” she says to her brother, laughing a little. “Aki is my new brother now.”

“After everything I did –“ he starts.

“Which you are grounded for,” she interrupts.

“Do you think if you die again, you’d go back to being the Seal?” he asks thoughtfully. “Just wondering. In case I change my mind.”

“Alright, break it up,” Shinji says. “If you two keep bickering the world saving is gonna happen without us.”

Right.

Semi-pressing matters to deal with.

Mitsuru hands her and Minato their weapons. When Hamuko was helping the Phantom Thieves before, she’d stuck purely to items and magic. Her grip on the naginata is firm, comfortable, and all too relieving. She’d missed this.

She turns to where the Phantom Thieves are waiting for them, a ways away, clearly discussing their plan of action. She notices Akechi amongst them, donned in his Loki gear. He must’ve escaped her notice because of her distraction. Haru and Futaba are clearly keeping their distance, but the rest of the Phantom Thieves seem to be relieved to have him on their side.

“We’re ready!” she calls out to them. Akira nods and starts heading to the place Morgana had pointed out earlier, closely followed by the rest of the Phantom Thieves. Her and Minato assume their place at the front of the S.E.E.S group without so much as a glance at each other and start heading over, too.

They end up standing at the bottom of a long ramp made of large bones. The actual Velvet Room door stands at the bottom, glowing and all, with a pint-sized attendant that she hasn’t seen before. She takes a long look at it before turning to Minato. “I assume you have more than two Personas,” she murmurs, continuing when he nods. “Good, because I don’t.”

She’s sure she could go summon some, but she’s not sure how much of a strain that will put on Theo and Elizabeth, given that they are currently in trouble with Igor. They’ll just have to compensate for Minato doing most of the casting between the two of them, then.

She makes her way over to Akira. Together they stare up the looming, winding road. “Alright, this is it,” she says. “This is your battle to fight, not ours.”

“We’ll hold off the Shadows on the way up,” Mitsuru says, more of an order than a reassurance. “You –“ she gestures to the Phantom Thieves – “go and end this. Hamuko is right, this isn’t our battle.”

Everyone starts picking their way up the winding road. She sort of hates the height of it – thinking back to the Tartarus rooftop – but presses on regardless. They make it about halfway up before they’re attacked by a powerful Shadow. “Why is it –“ Minato starts, frowning, but Hamuko shakes her head. She doesn’t know why these Shadows take the form of Personas, but she’s not about to find out. It’s probably for a weird or creepy reason.

“Go,” she shouts at the Phantom Thieves over the whistling wind and the sound of battle. Akira lingers for a second, clearly hesitant to leave them to it. She exchanges looks with her brother.

“Messiah!” they both call, Evokers to their head. Two Messiahs burst forth, combining into one. She waves Akira on as the combined Messiah attacks the Shadow. The Phantom Thieves run past, along with some of S.E.E.S, probably under Mitsuru’s orders. She falls into the groove of battle, directing the others – Shinji, Ken, and Koromaru – as necessary and combining skills with Minato as often as possible. They’re more powerful together.

She takes a brief moment to worry about the Phantom Thieves, but she has to believe that this will turn out alright in the end, without the need for a sacrifice like her story had. They’re almost on par with her own power – without Minato – now. She has to believe in them.

The second the Shadow in front of them is dispatched, she’s back to making her way up the ramp. She finds Mitsuru directing the remaining S.E.E.S members against yet another strong Shadow but makes her way past them. They have Fuuka with them, which is an advantage, and she’s sure Mitsuru has been managing just fine in battle without a Wild Card – either of them – present. Plus, she at least has all four of the main elements on that team.

Once they dispatched the first Shadow, noises of panic had started emanating from the city below them. So defeating these Shadows does something, huh? She’s willing to bet the quicker they can dispatch these Shadows, the quicker the Phantom Thieves can get to fighting the god.

Guards start appearing around them, but they’re much weaker than the larger Shadows, and are easily dispatched. The adrenaline of battle starts to hype her up. She’s slightly embarrassed to say that she finds these sorts of battles exhilarating, danger and all.

They find the Phantom Thieves fighting a third large Shadow and relieve them, watching as the rest of S.E.E.S goes ahead as well. The screams from the city get louder. They must’ve gotten rid of the second large Shadow. More and more people below are noticing what ‘s happening. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but she finds herself somehow thankful that no one was around for Nyx’s arrival when she was younger. That would’ve scarred public for life.

The world starts trembling, and a blinding light shines from the temple before them. The Phantom Thieves have started facing down the Holy Grail, then. Good. She grabs Minato’s hand and nods to the temple. He nods in understanding and they once again raise their Evokers in synch, this time casting Salvation. It should reach the Phantom Thieves from here, with their combined power. She is at least allowed to hope that it does.

Either way, it gives an extra boost to her friends, and they finish the third Shadow quickly. The fourth, and apparently final, Shadow looms ahead, already being fought by the other half of S.E.E.S. This one seems a little more powerful than the ones before it. Hamuko makes sure everyone is prepared and joins the fight. This is nothing compared to Nyx, she knows, but still rather time consuming.

The Shadow seems angered that the Phantom Thieves have slipped past it, and even more intent on making sure that they do not manage to do it as well. It heals an annoying amount and summons reinforcements and altogether is very annoying and tedious to get rid of.

Hamuko is nothing if not resilient, though.

She throws herself head-first into directing her friends, and half the time they respond before she gets the order out. This – battling, commanding, fighting side-by-side with her friends – this is home. She settles into her role as co-leader just as easily as riding a bike and enjoys the rush she gets from avoiding attacks.

They get a little banged up but manage to defeat the Shadow eventually.

Just as they do, the world trembles again. The Phantom Thieves have clearly done something. She hopes that they did something _right_ , rather than something wrong. (She believes in them, of course, but the world trembling is rather ominous.)

The temple walls in front of them start opening to reveal the Holy Grail transforming into – something – Yaldabaoth? – and the Phantom Thieves standing apprehensively in front of it. As the thing continues transforming, she’s impressed by how large it is. The transformation makes the temple grow higher, higher, until she can no longer see the Phantom Thieves and they couldn’t reach them if they tried.

There’s nothing they can do.

She shakes her head and starts helping Fuuka with bandaging and handing out medicine to everyone. They’ve all exhausted their magic, anyway, even if they could reach the Phantom Thieves. She sets herself next to Yukari, who is nursing an injured knee, and starts rubbing ointment on it.

“Do you think they’ll be okay?” Yukari asks, eyes to the sky. “They’re just kids, after all.”

“So were we,” Hamuko replies. “It all turned out all right.”

“You died.”

“But I’m here now.”

Yukari doesn’t dispute this but doesn’t take her eyes off the looming god ahead of them. “I’m glad you’re back,” she says eventually.

“Me, too,” says Hamuko.

A bright light passes over them. She winces – it reminds her of the Megidolaon light, but more menacing, which cannot at all be good. The sounds of battle resume, however, so she lets herself relax again.

It’s an interesting feeling, not being the one who is depended on to defeat a literal god. She can’t help at all, even, nor would she unless absolutely necessary if given the chance. She is a bystander in all this. It makes her sort of giddy, actually. She’s been given a second chance at life, and she doesn’t need to use it to save the world (again).

“My control will not bow down to ruin,” Yaldabaoth’s voice echoes around them. “My control is the ultimate truth of this world.”

The light shines again – though it may be more accurate to say it is dark, tinged with red – and this time Hamuko is genuinely worried. That one seemed so much stronger than the one previous. She hears the Phantom Thieves scream and jumps to her feet. She can’t quite see them from here, and there’s nothing she can do, but she readies herself anyways.

“There’s no way up,” Fuuka tells her softly. “I’m sorry.”

Another wave of darkness goes past them. Another round of screams from the Phantom Thieves. She winces and looks up at the tower above them with increased worry. They have no way to help. She takes back what she said about the relief of not being the one defending the world – at least then there was something she could _do._

The darkness doesn’t dissipate. Yaldabaoth laughs from above them, clearly winning. Fuuka does a scan and winces, not even bother to say something about the state of the battle. The crowd below them starts muttering, but she can’t quite make out what they’re saying. It’s clearly not good, though.

Then, amongst the screams below them, a voice rings out clear and true.

“Take it down, Phantom Thieves!” yells what sounds like a high schooler.

There’s a pause, and then the crowd starts chanting the Phantom Thieves’ name. This – it can’t mean anything, can it? She can see the Phantom Thieves symbol appearing on the mega screen down in the city. It’s flickering but getting stronger as the cheers get louder.

Hamuko remembers when she was facing down Nyx.

It had been hopeless – they knew that from the start – but she had managed it because of the cheers of her friends. They provided her the strength she needed to finish the fight and seal Nyx away. The strength of her bonds. . .

The Metaverse was affected by public perception. The Phantom Thieves were only allowed down further as they got more popular. This – this is their bonds. The public makes a difference in this fight, and. . .

She is part of the public.

“You can do it, Phantom Thieves!” she yells at the top of her lungs.

The chorus of voices below them gets even louder. The image of the Phantom Thieves logo gets even sharper. The rest of S.E.E.S seems to realize what is happening, just as she had, and join in too. The sky gets lighter and lighter.

A blue light comes from the top of the tower, growing larger and larger until it ultimately forms into a massive Persona, the same size as Yaldabaoth. She starts laughing in relief. This has to be Akira’s doing – Akira the Wild Card, Akira the world-saver. There’s hope yet. The fight will end, and it will end the right way.

The crowd goes crazy, clearly realizing exactly what she had. She feels herself get stronger, clearly healed by the Persona. Yaldabaoth sends out another wave of the dark light, but it doesn’t do anything. “Preposterous!” it echoes. “You dare rob the people’s wishes?”

Akira’s new Persona points a gun and shoots.

Yaldabaoth falls.

They appear back on the ground, waist high in the weird blood stuff. The sun comes out, illuminating the world around them. She hadn’t even realized the sun was gone. A bright light envelops them, and then –

She’s standing in the middle of Shibuya Square, surrounding by the people of Tokyo and her friends. The other members of S.E.E.S glance around in surprise. “They did it,” Minato says softly.

“They did it!” Hamuko repeats a lot louder, drawing some curious glances from the strangers around them, but ultimately getting ignored. “Where are they?”

Mitsuru gives her a gentle smile. “You can find them later. For now, I believe it would be nice to relax. It is Christmas Eve, after all.”

Hamuko shivers from the sudden snow – ignoring a pointed look from Minato about her attire – and smiles back. Mitsuru is right, the Phantom Thieves can wait. She’s just got her memories back, and she’s missed a lot in the past few years. It’ll be nice to just have dinner together.

She intertwines her fingers with Shinji’s and lets Mitsuru lead the way.

* * *

Akechi turns himself in.

He gets a light sentence in exchange for information on Shido, of which he has plenty, even pretending the Metaverse never existed. The police can’t attach him to any of his crimes, of course, but they take his word for many of them because he has details no one else would have.

Akira turns himself in, too, for much less valid reasons – though unfortunately understandable ones. As far as she understands it, he violated his parole. The older Niijima manages to get a retrial set for a few months from then. Hamuko helps where she can, but that mostly involves “having Mitsuru pull strings,” and not much else.

The Phantom Thieves tell her that Mona was an intrinsic part of the human cognition, and therefore is no longer with them. He was born in the Velvet Room, apparently. She makes a mental note to ask Theo about it when she gets the chance, but ultimately leaves them to their grief.

She spends the few weeks following the near end of the world fielding calls from her school friends. “I’m so glad you’re awake,” they all say. “It’s been years, everyone had lost hope. Do you remember me?”

Mitsuru tells her that they’re not sure why or how, but that the world has adjusted to accommodate her continued presence. She didn’t die on the school rooftop, all those years ago – instead, she fell into a coma. This is what is written on medical records, and this is what her friends remember. Well – her friends that have no experience with Shadows.

“Of course I remember you,” she tells them brightly. “We should get lunch sometime!”

She means everything she says, and even makes plans to fly to France (on Mitsuru’s money, for now) to visit Bebe. The hectic scheduling and planning puts her at ease. She likes having things to do, people to see. Idling isn’t her strong suit. Everyone she meets up with is relieved to see her recovered so well and accepts her vague answers as to what exactly was wrong with her.

Mitsuru takes care of everything ID- and passport-wise, making sure she once again legally exists. She’s forced to go to several doctors so they can make sure her physical health is up to par, purely to satiate Mitsuru’s worries. She nearly gets executed when she calls Mitsuru an overbearing mother, but it’s worth it.

She makes sure to give Junpei a hug, being the most affected visibly by her memory loss. (She gives everyone a hug, really, even Minato when she stops being too mad at him, but she gives Junpei extras.) He regales her with tales of his career in baseball in America, and of his long-term relationship with Chidori. She listens with hunger, desperate to gain the knowledge of what her friends have been up to, and what they have become.

Shinji – with some amount of embarrassment – offers her a place in his house, and a temporary job at the restaurant he works at. She accepts, if only to stop being a burden on Haru, under the condition that he lets her pay rent. (Minato, somehow, disapproves of this, and is not swayed by the fact that she has her own separate room or that Ken and Koromaru also reside in the home. She supposes she can’t call him a hypocrite, since he lives with Aigis and Aigis only. Either way, he’s not the boss of her.)

Minato, she discovers, is a model – something she takes great joy in, actually. He defends it as something he doesn’t have to talk a lot to do, something Yukari dragged him into, and something Tanaka was very set in him continuing. She’s sure all three of these things are true, but that doesn’t stop her from finding it very amusing.

Yukari laughs when Hamuko asks for her signature but gives it anyways, on a Featherman Rangers poster. Hamuko immediately gifts it to Futaba to cheer her up. It works at least in some part, as far as she can tell. The girl gets a little easier to talk to, at the very least.

Akira is released in February.

Hamuko doesn’t attend the full reunion, but she stops by Leblanc later in the night to say hello. She’s greeted by Morgana when she pushes the door open. “He’s upstairs,” says Morgana.

“Thank you,” she responds. Pause. Look back at him. “I thought you were missing.”

“I, uh,” he starts, embarrassed. “I was avoiding coming back. I was so dramatic when I was saying goodbye. . .”

She laughs and picks him up, much to his dismay. “You stupid cat.” She makes her way upstairs, Morgana in her arms, and grins at Akira when she sees him. “Hey, did you know your cat is the most prideful animal I’ve ever met?”

“He told you his reason for not coming back?” he responds with a smile. “Also, hello.”

“Hello,” she says warmly. “I heard you got out, so I came to say hi.” She puts Morgana down and leans against the dresser by the stairs. “And bye.”

“Bye?” Akira asks, eyebrows quirked.

“Shinji’s thinking of starting a restaurant,” she explains. “The one we work at now is nice, but it gets a little too busy. Most of my friends are only in Tokyo because of the Phantom Thieves. It’ll be nice to return to where I’m from.”

He hums. “Iwatodai?”

She nods and pulls a piece of cloth from her coat pocket. It’s the armband Ryoji had given her. It serves as a representation of her friendship, of her memories, but it serves her no purpose now. S.E.E.S, as it were, doesn’t exist anymore. Even if it did, she wouldn’t be a part of it, being long out of high school. “I wanted to give you this,” she says, handing it to Akira.

He takes it and inspects it. “It’s an armband,” he states plainly.

“S.E.E.S was the name of the club I was in in high school,” she explains. “The one that fought Shadows. I don’t need it anymore. I thought I’d give it to you as – I guess as a token of our friendship.”

“Thank you,” he says, closing his fingers around the armband. “Really.”

She starts making her way back down the stairs, pausing halfway. “Goodbye, Akira.”

“Goodbye, Hamuko.”

She leaves Leblanc ready to take on her newfound life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, there you have it. the tenth, and last, chapter of big bang. this was pretty emotional for me to write, honestly, because this is the first long fic i've ever finished. it started as a purely self-indulgent fic - the longest i had ever written, with the original first chapter reaching around 3k words - and the fact that i have received so much support over the period that i've been writing it is incredible!  
> while i'm not done with the big bang universe (there are still a few oneshots and similar ideas i'd like to write), the other things will be more development of the universe than actual plot related ones. feel free to subscribe to the series, but for now i think i'll mostly focus on college.  
> there are many things i have thought deeply about for this universe that don't come up at all in the fic, so feel free to ask questions in a comment or on my [tumblr](https://bluevelvet-room.tumblr.com) or check out the commission i had tolbyccia do of [chapter 6 hamuko!](https://tolbyccia.tumblr.com/post/638427493563498496/a-sweet-future-hamuko-commission-for)  
> thank you all so much for reading and i hope this finale didn't disappoint you!


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